Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a bald man, now that’s a diamond in the rough.
Many of us, including myself, have been here. Wondering if you’re doing your hair right…or feeling self-conscious about not knowing how to put on eyeliner. Asking yourself, how do I do this? Where do I start ? Who can I ask to teach me? Overcoming obstacles, experimenting with hair, makeup, and fashion all are a significant addition to learning who I was.
In order to be happy, I had to be happy with myself…everything after that comes easily. Knowing what you like, how to take care of yourself, using resources like books, mentors, friends & family—you can learn to take care of yourself. It helps tremendously when you are able to work with what you’re born with instead of fighting against it. Part of that comes from self-love and self-acceptance. The other part comes from life experience and going through those experiences to remove that mask you’ve learned to hide behind. Navigating these everyday questions allowed me to learn who I was over time. The ability to say, ‘This is who I am, and I’m okay with that part of me. As a matter of fact, I love that part of me. I love all of me.”
For a long time I would say “I’m putting my mask on” and it truly felt like I was. I clearly remember getting ready for a night out with my friends and it was like I was taking on a whole new persona, as if I was bringing out an alter ego because I felt I wasn’t enough as myself. I didn’t feel pretty enough. I wasn’t outgoing enough. Or whatever insecurity it was in that moment of time. Oftentimes I would use drinking to bring out what I thought others would accept. Getting to know yourself, embodying yourself, it takes learning. Asking questions, accepting your beauty without comparison. Which, admittedly, is a learning curve, but it can be done.
The Disconnect Between Beauty and Self-Love
As a hairdresser I always wondered why I felt like there was a disconnect with the beauty industry. I couldn’t figure it out. But I always knew there was more beyond just hair and makeup—more beyond the surface. There had to be right? Beauty is not only on the outside, it also comes from the inside. In the beginning of my career as a hairdresser I wanted women to look beautiful and at the same time I wanted to help all of my guests gain the confidence that they lacked. The strength that they didn’t see was there. More than getting your hair done on a Friday night before going out drinking and dancing or chopping your hair off after a bad break up.
Feeling great on the inside allows you to shine even brighter.
I couldn’t grasp the concept of what was missing. It wasn’t until a few years ago, actually, that I realized what the answer was. The answer came from me, from within. Self-love. Self-care. Self-talk. How many times have you gotten ready for the day, for the night, and hope that you would be seen. But what if you were getting ready for you? Wouldn’t it be great to step out into the world knowing who you are? Knowing what you love, without a doubt. Knowing who you are down to your deepest core, and accepting yourself just as you are. That part is a discovery. It takes an open mind and heart, experimenting and learning how to work with what you were born with. Embrace who you are and work with what lovely locks you inherited.
Embodying Your Beauty Through Your Hair
Don’t be afraid to work with what you have. Look for a hairdresser that specializes in your texture. Embrace your hair, your skin, your features. Embrace you. You can enhance hair with color and vice versa. A simple cut and a pop of color can change the look.
What about self-care rituals?
Turn those practices into rituals. A time for you to connect with your body. As you apply a hair mask, say some affirmations. Have fun with them! Nothing is too far out of reach. Come up with some feelings you want to embody and incorporate them into your affirmations. Now take those feelings and create 3 to 5 affirmations.
How to start your affirmations:
I am_____.
My hair is_____.
Feelings you may want to embody:
Sensual, embody, relaxed
Affirmations you can use as is, or use to inspire your custom statements:
My hair is an extension of my beauty.
I embody the sensuality that is my hair.
My beauty is not based on someone’s expectations of me.
Allowing yourself to feel the power of your affirmations and self-care rituals. Hair is not your identity, it adds to it. It’s an extension of who you are. Take baths, use essential oils, or milk baths—create an atmosphere that is both relaxing and serene. If you’re not a bath person you can still create a ritual out of this. Set the mood. Bring out the candles, music, anything that will connect you with yourself. Shower bombs are also fun and step-up the self-care game!
Show the world (and yourself) that your hair can be an expression of you, your color an extension of your magnetism. This an uplevel of your badassery. As your style in life evolves, so does our hair, your interests, and even those you surround yourself with. It’s up to you to show who you truly are in those stages. Let who you are authentically shine when you walk in the room with confidence.
Live your life. Experiment in all aspects. If you’re like me, you probably have some old pictures to look back on and just wonder, “what I was thinking?” Look back on her, your past self, and remember that those periods were how you got to where you are today, and were necessary in learning who you truly are.
