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From Bullied to Empowered

There are two natural responses children react to when they feel threatened, uneasy or in danger; they are the same reactions that follow us into our adulthood, and we defer to them when we do not have the tools or resources to change our behavior. They are our norm.

We call it fight or flight.

When we are in fight mode, we are defensive, aggressive, outwardly dominant but inwardly, deeply insecure. We defer to this reaction because it gives us comfort, and we feel that we do not have anyone to protect our best interests so we must be our own heroes.

If we are in flight mode, we run away from conflict or anything that requires us to be our own advocate. We may shrink ourselves, hide from others, and we are viewed as weak, fake, or possibly frail. We are prone to be targets of those who are more powerful, dominant and ego-driven because we do not have a voice and rely on those who do to make our decisions for us.

Running from myself and others has always been my kryptonite; as a child who was morbidly obese, I stuck out from my peers like a sore thumb, and I ran from confrontation. I desperately tried to blend into my environment so that I would not draw unwanted and unnecessary attention to myself because the attention that I received felt like a hammer to my soul. I was mocked. I was teased. I was told that I was worthless, and my frail ego believed it.

As a creative child, I believed I could be anything, and there was nothing that could stop me from being all that my heart desired – except the opinions of others. Twelve-year old me didn’t understand why no one liked what I had to say – they laughed when I spoke, so I shielded my voice, and they poked fun of how I looked so I wore clothes three times my size to drown me away.

The insecurities bled into my adulthood. I desired friendship, companionship, and any type of connection with whomever gave me the time of the day, and this led me on a journey of a decade’s worth of pain in my twenties that catapulted me into an emotional and mental breakdown.

This led me on the journey of discovering who I truly was; the road to my divinity (finding my power within) began with a conscious choice to treat myself the way I wished I had been treated as a child: with kindness, patience, and unwavering love.

Sometimes, that is what is required from us all: to treat ourselves the way we wished others would have. 

There will come a time that the fight or flight reactions that we have kept from our childhood to protect us will be the tipping point in our adulthood to guide us to the awareness of where we are internally hurting and where we need to properly care for certain spaces within us that we have chosen to push aside, and ignore for far too long. 

If you find yourself struggling in a state of fight or flight, your soul is asking you to dig deeper so that the truth of who you are can be revealed.

To be of fight and flight is to live in a life of disempowerment; we are disengaged from our true nature, from our strengths, and our divinity; to find the power within you, within us all, requires willingness of the heart to rediscover the truth of who we are.

Are you ready to live an empowered life?

Sometimes, that is what is required from us all: to treat ourselves the way we wished others would have. 

The Dis-ease Within

How do you know if you are living a life disassociated from your core desires? What separates you from knowing that you are unhappy, and living in a space of denial? What is the key to changing your reality from a space of lack to a space of wholeness?

Awareness.

Everything begins with awareness. If you live in a state of awareness, you are able to see your life from the perspective of being an active participant in your experiences versus just letting life happen to you. Case in point, if you are at a job that is unfulfilling, you may experience stress-related illnesses, you may suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and possibly depression – a person who is unaware may continue to live in the space of compromising their wellbeing to stay within the status quo.

Whereas, the process of awareness will have someone questioning the correlation to their illnesses, their wellbeing, and their current unfulfilling job.

What brings us dis-ease always stems from a root. A cause. Life will show up (as it always does), and give us signs to hint to our discomfort, or to show us where we are not aligning in our truth, and if we ignore those signs, they become bigger problems, and those problems can turn into storms that we can no longer possibly ignore.

The storm can show up as us losing that job, that house, that relationship, or receiving a massive rejection or heartbreak that cripples us…. the storm requires us to deal with what we have refused to acknowledge within ourselves for so long.

If we decide we are willing to go deeper, we can begin to ask ourselves difficult questions:

  • Why do I feel this way?
  • When did these feelings start to surface?
  • Am I honoring myself?
  • Am I living for others?
  • Am I truly happy with my life right now as it is?
  • If not, what is blocking my joy right now?

These questions may be uncomfortable because the awareness causes us to be unapologetically honest with our truth, and that truth may be completely different than the current reality that we are residing in.

Who wants to admit that the life that they are living may not be one that they really desire?
When I was living a life for others, I suffered deeply from panic attacks, codependency and low self-esteem – the connections that I surrounded myself with reflected my discomfort within, the job that I worked aided in my depression…peeling back the layers of my pain, I recognized that I had been living for everyone else but myself, and that my dis-ease within was manifested by ignoring my heart’s desires.

The heart deserves to be heard, and if we do not listen closely…if we ignore our heart, we ignore our inner guidance to a life that is in alignment with who we are out our core. To hear the heart begins with honoring the awareness of your discomfort, and then venturing into a journey of coming back to the authenticity of you.

Unlearning & Relearning

When we were babies, we were innocent, naïve, and fearless; we lived life in the space of wonderment and bewilderment. There was nothing that we could not do or face. We were bold, our dreams and desires were imprinted on us from the moment that we were formed in the wombs. We were all born with our character traits, our needs, our wants so what happens when we grow up as adults, and we live in a space separate from our desires, our needs and our wants? 

It’s the external programming. It’s the learning. It’s the layers of beliefs that are placed upon us as babies, children and young adults from our families, our friends and society; instead of living a life that we were intended to live by showing up in our power (the power that was given to us at the inception of our creation), we adapt and mold ourselves into what fits society standards. 

We dim parts of our dreams. 

We quiet our voices. 

We attempt to fit in rather than stand out. 

We conform. 

We adapt. 

We accept jobs that go against our desires. 

We compromise our needs in relationships to soothe what was never given or lost to us as children. 

And, then the pain surfaces…the anxiety, the panic attacks, and the depression.

Our identity has been built upon layers of what others may want from us, and to reidentify with the core desires of our hearts requires us to unlearn the programming that we have subscribed our souls to for the entirety of our lives. 

Is it simple? Hell no but if you are able to live a life that is not your truth for decades, you can certainly learn to live a life that is in alignment with who you really are; it begins and ends with the mind. 

What we believe, we shall be. If you are told that you must be a certain way to be accepted (ex: dress this way, look this way, talk this way, go to this school, marry this person, live this life), you form a belief about yourself. A limiting belief inherently communicates to your soul that who you are is not enough and you must be something else to be deemed worthy of good things. That limiting belief becomes our identity. We form our lives, our choices and our decisions around that limiting belief. 

To undo the belief requires a discipline of how your mind works, and a conscious choice to welcome positivity into your life. 

It sounds easier than it is, but the method works. Just listen to Oprah Winfrey. Eckhart Tolle. Michael Singer. Paulo Coehlo. 

Every spiritual teacher asks: 

How do you get up in the morning? How do you move throughout your day? How do you interact with others?

Do you simply exist within this life or do you actively move with intention? 

To live a life of intention shows up in how you choose to see yourself, speak about yourself, how you feel about yourself, and what you give your energy to; if you are welcoming positivity, love, and compassion into your space on a consistent, daily basis, you are actively reprogramming your soul to see your life from the perception of love, and if love is there…you begin to peel away the layers of what others may want for you, and align to the voice of who you really are. 

The voice that was imprinted within you in the womb. The voice that is here to guide you, protect you, and align you back to the desires of your heart.  

The journey to you begins and ends with LOVE.

Welcome LOVE!

What we do everyday – how we show up – how we interact with others – how we see ourselves – becomes our reality. What you do now becomes your tomorrow. If we are aware that our current reality is a byproduct of our daily inner monologue then would we be more intentional about how we choose to live?

After being bullied as a child for being overweight, I chased adoration as an adult until it led me down a path of deep loneliness, despair and anguish. I lived a life that was created by a falsehood…I created my reality by lying to myself daily. One day, I became tired of living a life that felt incredibly painful to keep up with.

What I began to understand about learning to eliminate negative past beliefs about myself was that it required an overwhelming amount of patience, love, and compassion…but not from others…

This was required of myself.

If we are to challenge our status quo, we need to learn a new way of being, of thinking, and of living.

Coaches will tell you that you need to adapt a new mindset. Healers will say that you need to work on yourself. Therapists will tell you that you need to get to the root of those negative beliefs/reactions. They all say use different terminologies, but the underlying message remains the same: use love, and your life will begin to change for one that’s in alignment with your truth.

How can you welcome love into your space?

The journey of discovering yourself is never-ending. There is no right or wrong way to becoming your most, true, authentic self but there are things that you can implement into your life on a consistent basis that will help ignite a deeper, understanding of who you are and what you desire.

I call it living life from your five senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound.

Find a ritual that stimulates your five senses in a way that welcomes more love into your spirit; for example, if you are listening to music, podcasts or audible books that are encouraging, uplifting and loving – your mind becomes adapted to the messaging that you are feeding it daily – a message of love, a message of growth, and a message of change – as time passes, you will notice that your reality is shifting by what you are feeding your spirit on a daily basis.

What can you do daily that feeds your mind, your spirit and your body?

In my case, I wake up daily to looking myself in the mirror and speaking loving affirmations to myself (using sight and sound) to nourish my wellbeing, and then I may some play music (preferably Lizzo) that reminds me that I’m a badass woman, flaws and all, as I feed my body with food that feels good to my soul or maybe I listen to an empowering podcast about self-love and how to shift from my current state of being into a life I desire.

My rituals change daily by how I feel (because let’s be real – we’re not always happy!) but the effort I have put into how I treat myself with my five senses has equated to living a life that has opened doors of miraculous opportunities; I lived a life of denial for so long that now, learning to love myself on my own terms, relearning the truth of who I am, life has granted me the opportunity of having experiences that reflect my inner work.

I’ve connected with souls who see me for who I am and accept me. I have written books. I have traveled. I teach others how to align to their authentic truth. I found love, lost it, healed, and then learned to find love again…but with myself first. I have found my voice, and while it is not for everyone – it is mine, and I won’t ever quiet myself again. I have pulled back the layers of people pleasing, self-sabotage, and depression to reconnect with my heart space again…

The one I was granted with in my mother’s womb. The one I lost when I was a child…I have found her again.

That’s the gift that is given when we rediscover ourselves. Our joy. Our power. Our light. We find a way back to who we were as children. We find our way back home.

It is on us to decide to release the programming from our past and create an intentional life of what we want to experience.

Life isn’t happening to us, it is happening for us, and if we are willing to be conscious participants in our experiences, we will find that we are more susceptible to such magical, loving, and truly beautiful moments that reflect the love that we have created internally within ourselves.

How much LOVE are you willing to give yourself? Daily? Weekly? Monthly? How much are you willing to fill your cup so that you may live a life of empowerment?

The choice is yours. 

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Breaking the Chains of Chronic Illness

Illness. That word can have different meanings to many. It can be getting sick with an acute onset of something such as the flu or strep throat, you go to the doctor, get some meds and you’re better in a couple of days. Or it can be an acute onset of something such as appendicitis, you go to the hospital, get surgical intervention, and then two weeks later your good as new. Chronic illness, however, is an entirely different animal. 

Chronic illness is when nothing gets better, you’re going from doctor to doctor, treatment to treatment and it can take years to really find the problem, and if you are lucky enough to find the root cause of the illness, it most likely requires medications that can cause unbearable side effects. It becomes a never ending circle. Chronic is life long. And if I am being honest, I never really gave much thought to people with chronic illness, naively, I did not realize it existed, to the staggering amount of numbers it is at today. I thought of it as rare… and then it happened to my youngest daughter…and then my oldest not long after.

The beginning

My youngest daughter at 15 started to experience pain and extreme redness in her feet and legs while walking or standing. It started out very sporadic, though I thought it was odd, it was not happening enough to really be concerned. Until, it did. The pain started increasing and it got to the point where the pain was becoming a part of her daily life. That began the journey for her and our family to find out what was happening. I could probably write an entire book alone, on the beginning of our journey. We began searching the best area hospitals, Mayo Clinic, a number of different doctors that each helped in her diagnoses, but nothing much was offered as far as a cure, a treatment and most of all relief of symptoms. The main diagnoses we were dealing with were Erythermalgia, Small Fiber Peripheral Neuropathy and POTS syndrome (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia). Unfortunately, there are not very good treatments for these illnesses (syndromes) and some of the medications given to  relieve the pain, had such horrible side effects for her, that she could not function. 

Which was worse? 

There had to be something else out there? I would not let her live this way, if I could help it.

Another change

Meanwhile, my oldest daughter was moving out of state, thousands of miles away to pursue her graduate degree in Arizona. A few months out there, she had started mentioning to me she really was not feeling herself. I attributed this to stress of a rigorous school program, new surroundings and possible anxiety about what was happening at home with her sister. Several months went by and her health was not improving and she was ultimately diagnosed with Lyme Disease. 

Here she was, thousands of miles away sicker than she had ever been, I could not believe this was happening. Here I am with, not one, but two kids, with serious illnesses. I had urged her to come home as I just did not know what else to do. I cannot help one in AZ and the other in IL. In the end she, alongside her boyfriend decided to stay and deal with her new found diagnoses, without me. As hard as it was for me not to be with her, it was probably the best decision she could have made. After doing her fair share of bouncing around from doctor to doctor out in Arizona she stumbled upon a functional medicine doctor who would introduce her to IV therapy.

A new hope

At first, I was skeptical. 

What the heck is Ozone Therapy, High Dose Vitamin C, Glutathione, Myer’s Cocktail? 

Are they safe? 

Why have I not heard of these before? 

Probably because we just never looked, or rather, we never needed to. After much research, we learned Ozone Therapy can help to combat bacteria, viruses and yeast, it also improves your circulatory system. High Dose Vitamin C is also used to help combat viruses and Glutathione is helpful to detoxify and boost your immune system. Myer’s Cocktail IV’s are loaded with vitamins and minerals that are better absorbed by IV versus pill form.

My oldest daughter decided to embark on this method of healing, and while the treatment was pricey, there wasn’t much to lose in trying. After many months of IV treatments for her Lyme disease, my daughter began planting the seed for me to bring my youngest daughter down from IL to AZ to visit with this doctor and see if maybe these therapies could help her too. We were pretty much running out of options, so we went and I am glad we did. 

In time, the first symptoms that slowly started to improve was the fatigue (that debilitating type fatigue where you just cannot get out of bed) was starting to lift and the girls were starting to feel more energized. That feeling created hope, for us all, that maybe they could get over the worst of their illnesses.

Healing is not linear

I also do not want to give the wrong impression that IV therapy is a magical “cure-all” for Chronic diseases, but rather a tool you can utilize, especially if you don’t see any end in sight to your suffering. Keep in mind it does not happen overnight. It takes time, persistence and patience. Healing is NOT linear and I learned that through this journey. There will not be one pill, one doctor visit, one treatment that will be the answer for chronic illness, but a culmination of many things. Both my girls still have issues respective to their individual diagnoses. My daughter with Lyme still suffers from some gut issues and food aversions and my youngest daughter with Small Fiber Neuropathy and POTS still has many days of pain and lingering circulatory issues, but most definitely not as severe as once was. 

We still use IV therapy as needed to help when flares arise and with this, they are able to continue living their life, maybe a little differently, but they are living it nonetheless. There was a point in their illnesses when I seriously questioned if “normal” life was going to happen. Normal as in going to school, working, taking vacations as a family, not being debilitated every day. Thankfully they are able to, and I attribute a lot of that, if not most of their progress to functional medicine and IV therapy, alongside western medicine.

A word of encouragement

If you have been suffering with a chronic illness and you have not been able to feel better, or even if you still are searching for a diagnoses, I would urge you to find a good reputable functional medicine practitioner and see if IV therapy may be a good fit for you.

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The Healing Paradox

It seems that society is truly divided when it comes to belief and truth. It’s as if there must absolutely be a clear demarcation between what is ‘real’ and what isn’t, but who decides what’s true? At the end of the day, it really comes down to the individual’s mindset and while this separation is necessary in some instances, it can also be isolating and restrictive. When it comes to food and wellbeing, one thing is for sure: everyone is simply trying to find their way amidst a heavy fog of unsolicited opinion and diet culture.

One of the things I’ve noticed in the wellness community is that when people find what works for them, they automatically assume it will work for everyone else, so they’ll go on their social media channels, share their anecdotal experience, and attempt to convince others to take a similar path. While we’re fed conflicting views, the only thing that matters is our own perception and we also have to take bio-individuality into account. There’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.

The healing paradox is something we’re all too familiar with. We expect the status quo to heal what we think might be broken when in reality it could be making things worse, or causing discomfort while doing nothing whatsoever. A lot of this work is internal and requires approval from our innermost essence.

While we aren’t broken, it’s understandable to want to change something about ourselves and improve from it. Healing doesn’t come from scratching the surface though. It comes from digging deep and doing internal work. Healing might genuinely seem like more work, but it’s more effortless than convincing ourselves that what has worked for others must work for us too.

The law of attraction works for everything in our universe and that includes healing. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental, it all comes down to belief. What we think is good for us will be good for us, and vice versa. It truly has nothing to do with the external world, but everything to do with our inner world.

The majority of so-called healing stems from a space of restriction and in my opinion, nothing good comes from restriction. Freedom, on the other hand, is a space of trust and abundance. Those are the types of vibrations that shift the undertones of our energetic bodies, thus enabling us to attract more of the good in our lives.

Food freedom has been one of the best things I have implemented in my life. I’ve dealt with bad body image, disordered eating, and diet culture my entire life. It hurts to say that as a young girl in various stages, I was never a stranger to dieting. I was constantly on a mission to lose weight, control what and how much I’d eat, and morph my body into another. I was constantly in a space of shame and unappreciativeness. I started to realize that the fixation on food and physicality was an external pressure that I didn’t want to deal with any longer.

The world was constantly telling me that if I’d just try one more diet, it’d be the miracle I was seeking. You get exhausted and grow tired of the discomfort and lack of change. There comes a point where you realize that if everything you’ve ever done to change hasn’t led to anything different, maybe it’s time to give it a rest. This goes for everyone who diets. If the hundreds of diets you’ve been on haven’t done anything to make you feel better long-term, why do you still believe dieting is the answer?

Food freedom is when we allow ourselves to eat what we want whenever we want. We don’t require permission to eat certain foods and we don’t label foods as good or bad. Changing the way we perceive and talk about food really makes a difference in the way our body breaks down and uses food. After reading the book, ‘Just Eat It’, I started to learn that we get aligned with wellbeing when we give ourselves unconditional freedom. For me, good and bad foods just don’t exist.

People think that food freedom means letting ourselves go, but do you realize the damage that causes us? We’re inherently telling our intelligent souls that we are not to be trusted and a rampage awaits us as long as we feel free. Food freedom can only be possible when we feel at peace with a body that doesn’t necessarily fit in the health archetype. As long as the goal is body modification, it’ll never work. The goal has to be acceptance and nourishment.

What’s the fear of getting fat about? We hear so many people telling us that their greatest fear is getting bigger, and that just confirms the severe ingrainment of fatphobia in our society. There’s an idealized picture of what health looks like, but we must change that narrative. Health is possible at every size.

Diet culture promises us that we’re only pounds away from fulfillment and that our happiness is tied to the scale. We’re highly intuitive and intelligent. We are well aware that fulfillment is something internal, so why do we seek it externally? Part of this healing process requires us to make unconventional choices in a society that doesn’t support individuality as much as it should.

Start to think of yourself as an advocate for yourself, your livelihood, and all the human beings who’ve experienced the same hurt as you. How can we change the way we navigate through our healing journeys to not only help ourselves, but the collective as well? I’m here to urge you to remove yourself from the box. Question what you’ve been taught and what you’ve chosen to integrate in your life.

Part of healing calls us to place focus on the flaws and cracks, but that endless loop of change can be exhausting. We don’t always have to change, improve, and grow because that’s all effortless and it happens whether you like it or not. That’s why I turned to freedom. I started feeling truly free from the shackles of social norms when I started making choices for myself even when I felt the immense pressure to follow the busy path. Reflect on what is hindering you and reassess how you can face it from a place of you. The only person who knows what’s best for you is you, so block out the noise and tune in.

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5 Ways to Connect and Get to Know Your Period

In the past year, I have been on a fairly intense journey to reform my relationship with my menstrual cycle. Here are my 5 favorite ways to connect and get to know your period—and why I think they are worth a shot.

5. Ditching Your Tampons

I don’t care if they are organic. I don’t care if they have an incredible applicator or no applicator at all. Tampons are not gentle on your body. Especially those with chemicals. Have you ever read the Toxic Shock warning on tampon boxes? It’s way more common than you think. Many of the materials and products used to make tampons more absorbent are actually contributing to your discomfort. Tampons can cause an increase in discomfort, in cramping, and in bleeding. If you’ve ever had to remove a tampon that wasn’t completely wet, you know your body has feelings about it.

It can be intimidating to make the switch. But you may have been intimidated by tampons at one point as well and you made it through that. You can make it through this, too!

Whether you switch to a cup or a disc, it’s very likely you’ll experience almost immediate benefits, relief, and a renewed sense of dignity. Sure, there can be a learning curve in how to use them properly and that will likely feel stressful at first. But making this switch changed my entire view of my period. Just one cycle with a disc instead of tampons helped me to feel more comfortable, in more control, and far more aware of what was happening in my body. Plus, it’s great for the environment and that always feels good.

4. Tracking Your Cycle

It’s one thing to know you had your last period X days ago. It’s another thing entirely to pay attention to the whole cycle. For me, it helped me not to dread my menstrual phase (my period) because it wasn’t the only time of the month that mattered anymore. And the process of labeling each of my days with a follicular, ovulation, luteal, or menstrual designation has offered me a wealth of wisdom that I didn’t know my body even had. When you track your cycle fully, you can see exactly why you feel the way you do, crave this food or that, shine in this area of life or struggle with this element of your day. It all simply starts to make sense. It’s amazing to me how validated my clients, as well as myself, feel when they see on the calendar what their hormones are working on. We were taught that our hormones are a rollercoaster and they are chaotic and unpredictable. And when you look at a woman’s mood from one day to the next, I can see how we jumped to that conclusion. But the whole picture is a 28 day circle. And when you look at that circle, you see a beautiful pattern that makes room for you to thrive at so many different things, each in their own time.

I have a fun little guide you can download for free here if that would be helpful for you! Cycle Tracking Made Easy

3. Cyclical Rhythms

In February I created a line of oils that correspond to each phase of your cycle and I excitedly asked a few of my friends to try them with me and report back. These four blends are made in the hopes that it will reduce uncomfortable and annoying symptoms and will help you better align with each phase of your cycle. Over and over what I have heard as the greatest benefit of these oils, is not just that they help to manage symptoms, but that they’ve created a daily rhythm that feels powerful and wise and intuitive. It helps you to come into your body, notice where you are at, how you feel, what you need. Incorporating a rhythm that allows you to connect into your body can be a life changing shift for women. Especially those who spend most of their day in their mind. It doesn’t have to be these oils. Any rhythm will do.

2. Eat for Your Cycle

You are what you eat. And it’s due in large part to your hormonal response to what you eat. Everything you put into your body plays a role in your gut health, which plays a role in your hormone health, which plays a role in your reproductive health. And because our feminine bodies go through hormone shifts differently throughout the month, it stands to reason that eating the same thing every day isn’t going to serve us as well as eating based on what your body needs in that given cycle. I got the Moon Cycle Cookbook earlier this year and It’s now a staple for recipes and meal planning in our home. My whole family enjoys these meals so I don’t have to feel alone in caring for my body and this feels really important to me.

I highly recommend this book, but you can also just be mindful of a few key points. For instance, during your Luteal phase, your increase in progesterone slows the body’s systems down, including your bowels. So it’s a really important time to eat high fiber foods. Cinnamon helps to rid the body of estrogen, and when you do that before your period starts, you’ll experience a lighter flow. Or that during your Ovulation phase, you think the least about food because you don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen. So it’s important to set yourself up to eat things that don’t take long to prepare and meal prep so you don’t “forget to eat.”

1. Prioritize the Cortisol Flush

Cortisol, the “bad” stress hormone, is an enormous factor in how your period goes down each month. The more stress that’s stored in the body, the more your menstrual phase has to work to clear everything out. One of the cyclical phenomena about women is that we store up our anger, and our stress, in the body until the first day of our menstrual phase. That moodiness is passed off at the catch-all PMS. In reality, you have been holding that anger, negative energy, and cortisol in your body and your menstrual bleed is your body trying to eliminate it.

And we can keep trucking along like this for the rest of our lives if we want to. Or, we can help our bodies to flush the cortisol, the negative energy, and anger from our bodies daily so that when we get to day 1 of our cycle, we don’t have to catch up on 28 days worth of work.

There are a few fun ways to flush the cortisol from your system. Shaking for a few minutes a day is a really easy one. You could mask this as a 1 song dance party if that makes you more comfortable. But really it’s as simple as shaking your body, your limbs, your fingers, your head for a few minutes. This breaks up that energy and that cortisol so it can easily leave your body. Sweating is another way to flush the cortisol out of your body. Exercise or a good 20–40 minutes in the sauna can greatly improve your body’s ability to remove cortisol before it builds up. And Orgasms are another beautiful, pleasurable way to remove cortisol, anger, and negative energy from the body.

There are so many small ways to turn your period from something you dread into a way you respect and honor your body each month. I really hope a few of these resonate with you.

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My Connection with Feminine Empowerment & Birth Control

As women, we take the burden of protecting ourselves and our livelihoods by deeply micromanaging when and how we plan pregnancy and motherhood. For the past couple of decades, taking birth control has been seen as a form of bodily autonomy and feminine empowerment, but is it truly?

I questioned this idea quite a lot when I started seeing someone seriously and wanted to feel protected and safe. As someone who values natural and alternative medicine, I wanted an option that aligned. I had tried hormonal birth control in the past and it just wasn’t for me.

I started to go through my list of options: birth control pills, copper IUD, hormonal IUD, the shot, the patch, and the list goes on. However, all of these have one thing in common and that is that they change the way our bodies do their processes naturally. They all affect our hormones in some way, shape, or form. Even the copper IUD isn’t a ‘natural’ option.

I have been going to a holistic wellness practitioner and acupuncturist specializing in traditional Chinese medicine. She taught me that the copper IUD, while it’s the most natural of all the options, can cause significant inflammation in the uterus. Inflammation is the root cause of most medical issues and creating a hostile environment like that can lead to even further complications.

Realizing the Truth

I went my whole female adolescence hearing how birth control is a great option that’s completely safe and absolutely normal. I was in medical school and the specialists I interned for were all for it even though I’d watch them complain how their new birth control pills were making them break out. Still, they swore by it and raved about it too.

I vividly remember taking a class in my undergraduate studies called Hormones & Homeostasis, an endocrinology class. Our professor was going over the female reproductive system and fertility. The topic of birth control came up and for the first time, I heard an academic professional discuss the downfalls of birth control. He clearly said: “if you suppress something long enough, it’ll eventually stop working on its own.” Why was I hearing this from a white European man, rather than female physicians having to take the burden of birth control pills?

I started to think about how the whole idea of female empowerment and bodily autonomy associated with birth control was a facade. Birth control was created by men to control women’s bodies for pleasure, even though there are major consequences. We bought into a product and idea that was meant to suppress us in every way and it felt so wrong to partake in it all. Don’t get me wrong, birth control pills can be a suitable option for women with PCOS, or very irregular periods, but I wouldn’t recommend it for most people. Even though doctors say the hormones leave your system in a matter of days when you stop taking it, there’s a reason most women who have taken birth control for years have trouble with fertility.

I hated the thought of having to pick one poison over the other knowing they all mess with my body’s balance. I asked myself questions wondering why it was that only women take the burden and why it has to be our problem to deal with. The thing is that birth control for men has been in the works, but men drop out of the trials due to the horrid side effects, yet we stay. The worst of all is that the side effects are very similar to those that women experience with birth control. We deal with it because it’s our livelihood.

Even then, if men were to take the burden, the same issues we usually deal with would just be passed onto them and that’s not right either.

Fertility Awareness Method

I found a solution. My acupuncturist recommended something called the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM). I had never heard of it other than a few stories of people getting pregnant using a similar method. I was skeptical, but I was out of options, so I did some research and found a FAM educator and practitioner.

I learned that using this method correctly was actually just as effective as birth control pills. It can be up to 99% effective. It just takes patience and tenacity. It wasn’t easy, but I started to realize just how out of touch I was with my own body. I had no idea how the menstrual cycle truly worked, how my body reacted to every stage, when I ovulated, and all of it. I was clueless.

In order to practice FAM, women should usually have quite regular periods, although women with irregular periods can use it too. It’s just a bit more difficult. I was willing to put in the work though. People think that FAM is just like the pull out method, or guessing and wondering, but it’s so much more complex.

What baffled me the most while I was learning about the female body was that we really can only get pregnant 24 hours in a month, but since sperm can live in our reproductive systems for about 5 days, there’s a risky 5 day window. So, why are we taking birth control pills every single day, risking our wellbeing, to protect us from just those 5 days?!

Every day, you have to take your basal body temperature before waking up and you have to monitor your cervical mucus to check fertility levels. It’s this two step process that is involved and it’s way more than a guessing game. I would track all of this information in an app called Kindara.

When we ovulate, our basal body temperature spikes and then it stays like that for the second half of the cycle. There are rules, so only have unprotected sex after that peak in temperature has been up for 72 hours. Use condoms the days when you’re at risk and universally, we aren’t fertile the first 2 days of our menstrual cycle.

This process was interesting because I started to realize my body had a rhythm. Since I have regular periods, for the most part, I only did this process for about a year before I stopped. At this point, I know how my body works and I play it safe. I have managed to effectively avoid pregnancy and when I am ready, I know the best times to have sex and achieve pregnancy.

If you’ve been considering a natural option, I highly recommend FAM because not only is it great for preventing pregnancy, it’s also really helpful when you’re trying to conceive. You will always know when it’s best to have unprotected sex instead of relying on gadgets and tools. This method teaches you so much and not just about yourself, but also what autonomy and empowerment truly mean.

Delving so deep into this method has helped me understand my body like never before and that has been true empowerment for me. It has been so fulfilling to deeply understand the way my body works, naturally.

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Why Going Vegan Was The Best Decision I’ve Ever Made

I switched to a fully vegan lifestyle in September of 2019 and I’ve never looked back. I can say with the utmost confidence that it has been the best decision I have ever made (other than moving to Europe, of course). People seem very apprehensive when it comes to veganism and I think that most of that caution comes from misinformation and preconceived notions. This type of lifestyle is a win-win for everyone involved and there are so many benefits.

Veganism is a way of life in which one abstains from engaging in activities that harm animals in any way. We don’t eat, or wear anything animal derived, or use animals for our entertainment. We refuse to use products tested on animals and we make sure to keep their wellbeing in mind when it comes to any purchase or action.

Much of our everyday lives are rooted in speciesism and we don’t even realize it. Speciesism is when we discriminate against others of different species and believe we are superior to any and all. The truth is that we cohabitate and co-exist with nature which includes all animals. We simply cannot think that because we are cognitively capable, that we are superior. That would make us superior to babies and disabled people, but we aren’t. When we use logic instead of emotions to understand the biases against veganism, we start realizing the truth.

People think that veganism is about being perfect, but really it’s about doing the least amount of harm possible. For example, it’s normal to slip up sometimes and accidentally purchase something that has beeswax in it, or eat something and realize there was milk powder in it all along. We make honest mistakes just like anyone, but we learn from them, and it becomes second nature.

For me personally, I did not get rid of leather bags or shoes because to me, it would be a waste. Some vegans may think that wearing these items perpetuates the idea that it’s okay to wear animals, but for me, it’s important to make better decisions moving forward. So, I never bought anymore leather, wool, silk, or other animal derived items. I also never accepted any gifts that were non-vegan. I always check to make sure that my cosmetics and skincare are cruelty free and vegan, down to the perfume and lip balm I use too.

For me, I was always fueled by my love for animals. It was never a health, or environmental decision. It really was solely an ethical decision which is why I would consider myself an ethical vegan. In my experience, people who transition to a plant based diet and revert back to their old ways tend to go plant based for the wrong reasons.

While switching to a plant-based diet is easy after-the-fact, the beginning can be challenging and that leads to impatience causing people to switch back. What I have learned is that people who switch to a plant based diet for the animals will never revert back.

I can speak for my fellow vegans in saying that no matter what happens, we will always choose a vegan lifestyle even if it is inconvenient, uncomfortable, or unaccepted. When people switch to a plant-based diet for health reasons, it’s not a decision that stands on solid ground. This is because there are new trends, supplements, and protocols that come out on the daily telling us that this new way is the only way to live a healthy life.

When it comes to the environment, things are always changing and it can be a difficult feat to take on when you feel like the rest of the world couldn’t care less. It’s unmotivating and it’s understandable why people choose to leave eco-conscious nutrition on the side.

That’s the thing though. No matter how difficult it is, how many people complain to us, or how inconvenient it may be, ethical vegans will always choose the vegan life. I like to compare veganism to any other socioethical movement. It’s about animal rights and leaving discrimination at the door.

What people seem to not understand is that veganism is a way of life. It’s not a diet. Plant based on the other hand, is a diet. It’s important to make these distinctions and understand them because when people constantly hear about people no longer being vegan, it sends the wrong message.

The Unparalleled Benefits

Health

I studied biomedicine in my undergraduate studies at the University of Amsterdam, a top 50 university in the world. Throughout my studies, I realized that diseases and illnesses stem from inflammation. While inflammation is necessary to keep us healthy, excessive inflammation is really the root cause of all disease.

Everytime we eat animal products, we create inflammation in our bodies and this occurs for several reasons. Firstly, when we digest animal products like red meat, fish, eggs, dairy, and more, our bodies produce a compound known as trimethylamine N-oxide, or TMAO for short. Excessive TMAO levels create severe risk for stroke, cardiovascular problems, and heart attack.

Other animal products contain heme iron and while it is highly bioavailable, the major bioavailability causes this type of iron to bypass our fine tuned iron regulatory system which leads to inflammation in the arteries and further strain.

The saturated fat found in animal products creates an endotoxemic surge in inflammation within our bodies which leads to the stiffening of arteries and other blood vessels. The TMAO also negatively impacts our gut microbiome which can throw off the way our immune system releases inflammatory cytokines leading to excess inflammation.

If we think about the standard American diet, people consume animal products all day every day. Eggs, milk, butter, and cheese in the morning, processed meats for lunch (which are a class 1 cancer causing carcinogen), more meat for dinner which is directly linked to a much higher risk for stroke, various types of cancers, and more inflammation. There is not enough fiber in the standard American diet which doesn’t support a healthy microbiome and creates more fatty deposits in our arteries. There is no time for the body to rest.

Dairy is very intense for the human body. Cow milk is meant to help baby calves grow into huge cows which is why their milk is filled with growth factors. In order for them to drink enough, cow milk also contains casomorphin, an opioid peptide which enables the cow to want to drink more and more. For humans, this explains why cheese can be so very addicting!

If you really research the bodily impact of eating animal products, you’ll notice the risk for all diseases and conditions are heavily multiplied in comparison to people who consume a whole foods plant based diet.

I could take days to explain all of the health implications around animal products. I did do it in a 60 page thesis, but for now, this should suffice.

Ethical

I always like to give numbers when it comes to the ethical implications of eating animals and other byproducts as it really puts things into perspective. More than 72 billion animals are slaughtered each year globally just for consumption and that doesn’t even account for sea animals, or animals used for testing, or entertainment. To put things into better perspective, one pig slaughterhouse kills about 1,100 pigs per hour. If we were to kill the earth’s human population at the rate we kill animals for consumption, the human race would be wiped out in just 17 days.

Aside from the animals, animal agriculture perpetuates social inequities as it contributes to world hunger and malnutrition. Slaughterhouse workers are in constant dangerous situations and horrible working conditions that are linked to several illnesses and workplace injuries. Not to mention the fact that it is totally traumatizing. All of the grain used for animal feed could be used to help stop malnutrition and global starvation. Here is a small excerpt from my thesis that sums up the wondrous impact of eating a plant based diet:

A vegan individual saves 33 animals, 33,000 gallons of water, 900 square feet of forest, 600 pounds of CO2 gas, and 1,200 pounds of grain in just one month in comparison to non-vegan individuals (Kahn, 2017).

- Emily Volovitz, 2020

Some people will say that there are ethical ways to kill animals, but there’s no ethical way to kill a sentient being who doesn’t want to die. If you really dig into the research, you’ll realize that family farms are just as heinous and gas chambers are still a thing for animals.

The reason why it is so easy for me to eat a plant based diet is because I don’t see animal products as products. I see the ‘food’ as someone who has every right to live just like humans do. The 5 minutes of gustatory pleasure really means nothing if you’re taking an innocent life.

People always wonder why dairy is so cruel if they’re not killing an animal. They do actually. Dairy is the cruelest product out there and if you want to make a choice, choose to leave out dairy even if it means you won’t give up meat. Dairy cows are forcibly inseminated to produce milk and they are impregnated so many times that they’ll often die of exhaustion. Every time they birth a calf, the males are shot in the head or taken to veal farms. The girls are raised to do the same as their moms and produce milk until their bodies give out on them.

In order to impregnate the females, bulls are electrocuted to produce sperm to be used in the females. As soon as the mom has her babies, the babies are taken away immediately so as to not use up any of the milk that ‘belongs’ to humans. Did you know that we are the only species on Earth to drink another species’ milk?

Mothers chase after their young and pine after them for days. The babies are taken to small cages where instead of being fed proper milk, they’re given a sugary solution to replace the necessary milk. Imagine yourself as a pregnant woman having to go through huge bodily changes only to have your baby taken away from you and for you to be stuck to a machine that drains you as you lactate and having to do this over and over again until you literally cannot anymore. I know it’s graphic, disturbing, and unsettling, but these are the facts.

This is just a small fraction of the atrocities in the industry.

Environmental

Greenhouse gas emissions produced from animal agriculture emit more emissions than all transportation sectors combined including air travel. One pound of cow meat requires 1800 gallons of water to produce. A plant based diet can reduce water consumption by half! A study from the University of Oxford concluded that switching to a plant based diet is the single best way to reduce your environmental footprint.

Spiritual

When we eat animal products, we eat fear, despair, anguish, sadness, helplessness, and everything painful in the sentient experience. We are all energy and when we consume an animal derived product, we don’t just eat the matter, we eat the energy too. If you’re trying to raise your vibration, support yourself by eating high vibrational foods that come from the earth and don’t feel pain.

As an empath and someone who has gone through various spiritual awakenings, I could never imagine diluting my alignment by constantly consuming fear and anguish. It’s something I will personally never understand within the spiritual community. How can you spread love and light when you consume fear and darkness? To each their own, but reflect and reassess.

The Best Decision

I’ve never slept better now that my conscience is clean. I don’t feel guilty anymore about the food I eat and I personally always felt a gut wrenching sense of remorse knowing I was responsible for creating more fear in the world and lowering the collective energy. It feels so good to be on the other side and feel awake. I can see clearly and once you do, it’s hard to go back and see the things the way most do. If I could give the best piece of advice for anyone, it would be to do this. Change your habits and take back your power. Eating is passive, but you can take aligned action and really truly make a difference. If this motivated you to make a change, reach out to me. I am always happy to help others live a more ethical and heart-led life.

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The Truth About Healing: It’s Not Easy

Let’s talk about healing—within the wellness, spirituality, and coaching industry. An industry I love dearly and am truly honored to be a part of. I am grateful every single day that I am a Spiritual Healer. I am grateful that this industry found me and I am walking this path.

But healing is often glamorized.

We see another person’s progress, how far they’ve come, where they once were. Seeing their journey as an outsider (from a very filtered lens) can make you believe that if you take the same steps, you will have the same results—that you’ll instantly feel the same way. People often assume one or two healing/coaching sessions will help them find their purpose, release their anxieties and depression, and feel inner peace. And *poof* they’re healed!

Don’t get me wrong… a healing, coaching, or wellness session with a trained practitioner can absolutely shift where you are in that moment in time. It can usher in feelings of peace, clear stagnant energy, release limiting beliefs, and so much work. Doing this work does change your life. It deepens your connection to yourself. But healing is not easy. Healing takes time. It takes commitment. It takes work. And most importantly, every single person’s journey is completely different. What worked for one person may not work for you. No one’s timeline looks the same as yours.

When you begin to go down this path, one of the most common misconceptions I hear time and time again (and believed myself when I started this journey) was that there was a tangible finish line. That there was an end to this road of healing. You may believe that after a certain amount of therapy, coaching, and healing you will never experience lows again, and your life would be amazing every single day forever more.

Here’s the Truth

There is no finish line. The work never stops…but is that really such a bad thing? Choosing to walk this path means you choose yourself, over and over again. You choose to honor your connection to our mind, body, soul, and spirit. You can choose to show up for yourself, in whatever capacity or modality needed in that moment. Because healing can look different as you move through different seasons in your life.

I don’t share this to scare you or intimidate you. I share this to be honest and to be real. To remind myself and you that healing is not easy, and if it doesn’t feel easy for you, you are not alone. And, it’s okay that it isn’t easy.

Emotions, moments, and shadows you thought you ‘healed’ from in the past may come back to the surface in unexpected moments. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means it’s simply time to dig a little deeper. To allow yourself to explore a new layer from a new lens and perspective.

There will be times when it feels right to do deep inner work and there will be times to allow the work you’ve done to integrate. Celebrate your journey. Honor your growth. Admire your commitment to yourself.

Growth, healing, and this life is not always easy. It can be uncomfortable when things are not flowing and don’t feel easy. But through the discomfort is where you allow yourself to expand. You are ever evolving.

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The Energetic Design of Your Reproductive System

Last year, my spiritual healing clients started to notice something fascinating: When they consistently saw me for an appointment (1-2 times a month), they found that their menstrual cycle was much more manageable. Some experienced less pain, others a shorter menstrual bleed, and most felt more in control of their stronger emotions that are often lumped under the umbrella of “PMS.”

They usually ask me, “what did you do?” But the truth of the matter is, I didn’t do anything. They did. They created space for themselves to talk, to unburden, to release what isn’t serving them well anymore.

And the direct result of that is a more mild and manageable cycle.

Contrary to what you may have been taught, your period isn’t supposed to be horrible, something you just suffer through and then forget about for 3 weeks.

Unfortunately, we aren’t taught that our emotions, our view of and care for ourselves has a direct impact on our physical health. So does our perception of the role we play in this world, and the health of our relationships. And our menstrual cycles, and the symptoms they come with, actually serve as a diagnostic for our spiritual and emotional/mental health.

The only trick is to look at your cycle with curiosity instead of judgment or resentment—and to know a little about the energetic design of your reproductive system.

You may already know that your womb sits within the second or sacral chakra. This means that it is aligned with your creativity, joy, pleasure, sexuality, playfulness…you get the idea. But a closer investigation offers even more information. Everything within your reproductive energy is directly related to your experience with money, sex, and power. Stress, trauma, manipulation of any of these areas of your life will have a direct impact on your menstrual cycle and the organs that play a role.

We can get more specific about distinct organs, too. The energy of your uterus is connected to your relationship with yourself. This means that the relationship you have with yourself is unbelievably important to the health of your cycle, not to mention your ability to conceive and carry a baby. Heavy bleeding, painful cramps, endometriosis pain? All might be stemming from a poor view of self. This might feel intense to read. And if you’re like me, you’re maybe sliding down far into your chair, covering your face with your t-shirt or tempted to close this tab and avoid any further calling out. But the beautiful thing is, this can be a relatively easy fix, that’s free and won’t require any medications. The key to healthy uterus energy is being kind to yourself. Start to notice how you talk about yourself in your head. Notice what pieces of you you look at when you are in the mirror. Notice your response when you get a compliment. Look at those things with curiosity and then start to say kinder, more loving things.

It’s by no means a quick change, or any easy feat. But consider the fact the gestation time of a uterus is roughly 9 months. So it will likely take 9 months to change your perception of yourself. To love yourself more fully. And that’s just really good to know. It won’t happen overnight. But those challenging period symptoms aren’t life sentences either.

Now let’s talk about ovaries. The energy of your ovaries directly connect to your perception of how you fit in the world. It’s about your perception of how people view and interact with you. This means, when relationships are healthy and happy and you feel you are putting good into the world, your ovaries are able to be totally aligned with you and create incredible things. However, if you’re struggling with purpose, work, or relationships with others (not just your partner), your ovaries can be energetically impacted. This might present as irregular cycles: maybe too long, too short, or inconsistent durations, continuous bleeding, etc. This also may present as fibroids or cysts on your ovaries, or PCOS.

Healing this energetic imbalance or dis-ease is a little more challenging because it’s not just you involved. But it is absolutely possible. I always encourage clients to first look at your calling or your purpose. Are you able to work in a field you feel valuable in? Do you love what you do? Do you love who you do it with? What is the energy like at work? Do you come home fulfilled or emptied out? Then you can also look at your relationships. With your parents, your significant other, your friends, your children. Do they value you? Do you get to be yourself in their presence? Is it a one way relationship or does everyone get and give in amounts that feel sustainable?

The trouble is, the relationships that can be wreaking havoc on your ovary energy might actually be past relationships. This is where I highly recommend working with someone. A therapist, a spiritual director, or reiki practitioner—someone who can walk with you through this healing and help you to navigate and implement healthy boundaries. And while the energy of your ovaries is a little more complex to heal, the gestation of that energy is only about 28 days, so you’ll notice a shift a lot more quickly.

If you are a relatively symptom free menstrual cycle, this is important to note for you as well. Because keeping an eye on what your cycle is telling you will allow you to catch an energetic imbalance before it becomes a full blown diagnosis. Whether you have a cycle you love or a cycle you dread, this information is an opportunity to learn a little more about your inner workings and feel a little more love toward yourself. And that little bit of love is a beautiful step in the right direction.

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The Missing Piece to Your Wellness Routine: CBD

We know that there are several integral parts to a wellness routine including that of nutrition, movement, mindfulness, personal development, and more. Each of these aspects play a different role in our livelihoods and expansion as energetic beings living a human experience. We usually take part in a wellness routine to enhance support, decrease anything that’s excessive, or just maintain overall wellbeing.

The missing piece to your routine may be cannabidiol, commonly known as CBD. Before you think that CBD is a drug or that it is psycoactive and just medicinal marijuana, think again. CBD is completely distinct from THC which is the compound found in marijuana responsible for that ‘high’ everyone associates it with. In order for CBD to even be legal, it cannot have THC. It actually can only contain traces of it; less than .3%. Broad spectrum CBD is completely THC free, for example. Part of destigmatizing the hemp plant is to delve into education before stepping into assumption.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the hype and all the claims from various brands and influencers, but I am here to educate you on the facts, so you can decide for yourself and better understand its impact. However, there’s a key reason why it’s so effective and it’s not talked about enough: the endocannabinoid system, or ECS for short. Bioindividuality is key, so while CBD may work for many, it may not work for you, but there’s really no harm in trying it and finding out.

The Endocannabinoid System

Just like any other system in our bodies such as the cardiovascular, or musculoskeletal system, we also have an internal biological system known as the ECS which is in charge of critical processes in the body. You might be wondering why it is that you haven’t heard of the ECS and this is mainly because it was only discovered in 1988. It is also closely related to cannabinoids which are found in hemp and marijuana and of course, there is an extreme level of stigma when it comes to these plants.

The purpose of the ECS is to maintain homeostasis, otherwise known as the body’s internal equilibrium. In order to align the body back to balance when it is thrown off, there are certain bodily mechanisms that must be modulated. For example, the ECS plays a major role in managing sleep wake cycles, metabolism, immune function, pain and inflammation responses, and so much more. The lack of knowledge on the ECS is concerning because many people who are experiencing treatment resistant chronic conditions may actually have something wrong with their ECS.

The ECS is a network within the body that does not have a centralized location, much like the immune system. Think of it as a series of highways, drivers, cars, and destinations all serving a different purpose. There are 3 main components: the endogenous cannabinoids we produce, the receptors they interact with, and the enzymes that break down the endogenous cannabinoids once they have served their function.

Our bodies produce two types of endocannabinoids known as anandamide (aka the bliss molecule) and 2-AG. In order for them to take effect, our bodies interact with them through receptors which you can think of as ports. There are two types of receptors: CB1 and CB2. CB1 receptors are mainly located in the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord) while the CB2 receptors are found in vascular areas including organs and the peripheral nervous system. The main enzymes in charge of degrading the endocannabinoids are known as FAAH and MGL.

As scientific studies emerge, so does the knowledge on this biological system and the roles it plays within us. Much of the research is suggesting that there is such a thing as an endocannabinoid deficiency. It could be that our bodies are not producing a sufficient amount of endocannabinoids or the receptors are not sensitive enough which may weaken the signaling and overall function. Some studies even suggest that an endocannabinoid deficiency may be a key underlying cause for treatment resistant conditions like depression, IBS, migraines, fibromyalgia, and more.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4789136/ 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16148438/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28861491/ 

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphar.2018.00482/full

CBD & The ECS

You may be wondering how CBD and the ECS are related. While we produce endocannabinoids, the hemp plant also produces its own cannabinoids and there are many of them. However, CBD was one that was identified a while back and it is one of the reasons why it is so popular today. There are other emerging cannabinoids like CBN, CBG, and more, but for now CBD has the front and center of the stage.

A cannabinoid is just a plant compound found within the cannabis sativa hemp plant and it is thought to have numerous medicinal benefits. Many academic studies suggest that CBD has anti-inflammatory properties. My acupuncturist told me something that really stuck with me and that is that inflammation is the root cause of most diseases. Because CBD interacts with the ECS, some research suggests that it affects the inflammatory response through the immune system.

When we are faced with autoimmune conditions or other painful issues, our bodies are usually in a hyperactive state with an immune system that is over expressive leaving us with chronic inflammation. This potentially explains why CBD is such a powerful inflammation and pain reliever. The benefits don’t seem to stop there though. CBD is also believed to help with sleep, anxiety, depression, and more.

Other research indicates that CBD may play a role in serotonin production which is responsible for maintaining our stable mood, keeping our nerves at bay, and helping us create regular sleep wake cycles. When it’s out of whack though, it can lead to anxiety, sleepless nights, and overall irregularities. Because CBD may affect the way we produce and interact with serotonin, this may explain its powerful influence on sleep. Melatonin along with our overall circadian rhythm, or biological clock, helps us get to sleep and stay asleep until the time is right. Serotonin is the precursor to melatonin, and without it, we could not produce melatonin to help us sleep. It could be that via this mechanism, CBD plays a role in helping those with insomnia and anxiety.

Supporting the ECS

There are several ways we can take action to better support our ECS and influence its optimal function. One of the main ways to support this system is by taking cannabidiol. CBD works in various ways to support the ECS. Firstly, it interacts with the CB receptors making them more sensitive and helping them work better with our endocannabinoids our bodies produce. It may also stimulate our bodies to produce more endocannabinoids or produce less of them should there be a deficiency or excess.

Many patients with movement, or psychiatric disorders have excessive anandamide levels and while anandamide is the bliss molecule and helps us feel good, too much of it can present itself as schizophrenia, Parkinson’s, and more. CBD may help alter endocannabinoid levels and some studies suggest it may be a therapeutic option for those struggling with movement and psychiatric disorders.

You can support your ECS holistically by engaging in stress reducing activities. This system works best when we are calm. Incorporate more movement in your daily life, sleep more, and eat certain supportive foods. Nutrition plays a major role in the health and function of our ECS.

ECS Supporting Foods:

  • Probiotic-rich fermented foods (kimchi, sauerkraut, etc.)
  • Prebiotic-rich foods (plantains, asparagus, jerusalem artichokes, berries, legumes)
  • ‘Superfoods’ (cacao/dark chocolate, maca, turmeric)
  • Beta-caryophyllene terpene-rich spices (black pepper, oregano, cinnamon, clove)
  • Omega-rich foods (chia seeds, walnuts, EVOO)
  • Cruciferous veggies (cauliflower, brussel sprouts, broccoli)

Finding the Right CBD

Finding the right CBD product for you can be difficult when the industry is oversaturated with brands to choose from and it is not an FDA approved product enabling brands to cut corners. There are 3 main CBD types on the market: isolate, full spectrum, and broad spectrum. Isolate is pure CBD, but the extract is stripped from other hemp components which house many benefits. Full spectrum houses the entire plant extract, but there are minimal traces of THC. Broad spectrum is the best in my opinion as it is THC free, yet you still get the entire hemp extract. Here are some tips to find a reputable CBD brand.

  • Only buy your products from brands that have a 100% satisfaction guarantee.
  • The brand must have certificates of analysis that prove the products have undergone rigorous testing for pesticides, heavy metals, and to prove that what they say is in their product is actually true.
  • The type of CBD and concentration should be front and center on the labels and website.
  • There should be an educational section that helps you better understand the scientific mechanisms and provides you with legitimate resources.
  • It shouldn’t be too cheap, but it shouldn’t be too expensive. A normal price for a good CBD oil tincture is anywhere from 60-180 depending on the amount of CBD.
  • There should be minimal ingredients. For example, a tincture oil should only contain CBD and a carrier oil like coconut, olive, or hemp seed oil.

Remember that the key to CBD is consistency and patience. It might be a while before you feel the effects. I recommend tinctures above all else as this method is the most efficacious and potent without unnecessary fillers and additives.

I hope that this article has educated you a bit on CBD, the ECS, and their impact on our wellbeing. Feel free to reach out to me at any time should you have any questions.

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4 Things People with Chronic Illness are Sick of Hearing

If you’ve been a person with a chronic illness for more than about, oh, I’d say five minutes, chances are that you have had some kind and helpful messages from well-meaning friends and family. Messages that may have lit up your day and helped you push through a rough patch. But along with all those supportive comments comes some that’ll leave you a little dazed and confused on just how to respond.

There’s the more than slightly gaslight-statements like, “you look so great”, after you’ve spent most of your day doubled over in pain or parenting from the couch. If you have any type of autoimmune or other “invisible illness” people do actually think they are complimenting you. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need that reassurance—that I could fake it in society sometimes—even as I’m going through the worst symptoms of my illness.

However, some of the messages people with chronic illness get are downright hard to hear. And if you’re like me, you might simply be sick of hearing them.

The first message you’ll often here is:

“You are so strong. I could never do what you’re doing.”

This message is one of those sneaky little ones. People think they are being empathetic and encouraging, but this message is actually quite isolating. When you say this to a chronically ill person, it’s, in fact, perpetuating the lie that you are separate from being vulnerable to a chronic illness or a disability—which is simply not true. At any time and at any moment, anyone can be hit with a debilitating illness or disabling event. You are not different from us.

And secondly, more often than not, we do not feel strong. We feel weak. Because of the toll our chronic illness is taking on our minds, spirit, and bodies. Mostly, it feels like there’s no other option but to move forward. We might have more energy one day, and that’s probably the day that you will see us. We’re no stronger than any other person on the planet. And we want you to know that yes, you could do this. Because you might just have to. One in four Americans have a disability and about half of all American adults have at least one chronic condition. So instead, take this time to learn from us, empathize with us, and support us, because you might just need the knowledge we’ve gained from living in our chronically ill bodies.

The second message we hear a lot is:

“If you just think more positively and focus on that, you’ll get better.”

This message is damaging because people that are at risk for chronic illnesses often have histories of trauma in their past that has been glossed over or plainly ignored. Additionally, having a chronic illness or disability increases your chances of developing PTSD and other mental health conditions. Focusing on the positive can be helpful in many instances, but much of the time it prevents healing from things that have been very challenging in our past. We often have trauma responses that need diagnosing and attending to. And most importantly, all we wish to do is to feel positive again. You telling us that we should be more positive only reinforces just how terrible we feel about feeling terrible. Additionally, it shames certain emotions that you deem are negative. This is damaging because it’s healthy to express anger, frustration, sadness, grief, and disappointment. Telling us to “turn off” those emotions further disconnects us from our bodies when we are trying so hard to heal.

The third message we are done hearing is:

“So you’ve had x, y, z treatment. Are you better now?”

There’s a reason that our conditions are called chronic. It’s because they don’t go away. Many things can go into remission, but chronic illnesses do not tend to just disappear (although I’ll never knock a miraculous healing event). For example, even though I’ve had a kidney transplant, I will always have kidney disease. Now I will be on intense immunosuppressant medications for the next (God-willing) 50ish years of my life. Getting off of them is not an option without suffering severe consequences (like losing the function of my transplanted kidney). Additionally the medications cause many damaging side effects (such as increased risk of cancer, neurological damage, and further kidney damage just to name a few).

There’s also the unsaid message from this that is: “Can I finally stop worrying about you now?” We would like to say “Yes!”, but it’s most likely not a reality for many of us. What is helpful is acknowledging the treatments and procedures we’ve had and asking us how you can support us physically or virtually. Many of our challenges will be lifelong. Some will be less at times, but some of them will always exist. We are always looking for healing and for our health to be restored. So sometimes we will be doing better than other times, but overall chronic conditions don’t just end.

The final message we are tired of hearing is:

“My friend had that…and they are doing so much better now that they tried x, y, z.”

While this one can sometimes be a helpful message, it completely depends upon the context. The only context where it’s appropriate is if I’m actually asking for health advice? If not, please save the information for yourself. I know my condition intimately. I’ve found many healing modalities when I’ve been needing them and have been open to hearing about them. But if we aren’t asking for your help, please do not share things that you think will help us feel better. It sends the message that what I’m doing is not enough, that I don’t know what’s best for my body, and that something outside of me will make me feel better. I’ve had the most luck when I’ve recognized that the answers are already inside me or that I know exactly how to get what I need in the moment.

I know it can seem like a minefield when talking to someone with a chronic illness, but it’s actually quite simple. It really matters what the intention of your message is. If you are coming from a place of love and acceptance, we’ll feel it (eEven if you end up saying one of these messages above). We might roll our eyes a little bit, because we’ve heard it before, but we know that you love us. It’s when you try to shame or tell us there’s something wrong with us (like we don’t know!) that it becomes damaging and harmful to us. So truly, put yourself in our shoes the very best that you can, and imagine saying what you’re thinking of saying to us to yourself. If it feels like you’re saying it to make yourself feel better about our condition, best not to say it and instead communicate messages of love, safety, and support. That’s all we really need anyway. It’s hard for us to ask for help, even when we desperately need it. Knowing you are a safe place to come to when we do need help is the biggest gift you can give us.


These well-intended messages might not go away instantly for those of us with chronic illness. But they don’t have to for us to feel better. It’s okay for people to say these things and for us to have our own back on how we respond. When you know what people are likely to say to you, it’s easier to decide who you want to be when you respond. It’s usually not worth the energy arguing the point. When you step into your own authority of your life, you don’t need everyone to agree with the way that you choose to live your life. You don’t have to convince them that your way is the right way because you can always be open to learning more. But you do get to choose when and how you will have those conversations. If you’re not open to it, you don’t have to have the conversation.

How to End an Uncomfortable Conversation Quickly as Someone with Chronic Illness

  1. Agreeing with the person
  2. Finding humor in what they’ve said
  3. Being bluntly honest

The quickest way to agree with someone is simple. All you have to do is thank them. People think they are being helpful. So when you thank them, they often feel like their job is done. If I can find a way to find humor in the topic, I’ll bring it up. It often lightens the mood and helps us realize that this isn’t a conversational path either one of us really wants to go down. If thanking them or finding humor doesn’t close the conversation, then I move into the bluntly honest by saying something like “thank you for sharing that, I’m not open to talking about this at this time.” It saves you time and energy that are a valuable commodity by not getting entangled in a you versus them conversation. And who knows? Maybe what they’ve said does end up being helpful later to you.

Thinking about the four messages you’re sick of hearing, this is how these things could apply to those messages:
  1. When someone tells you a version of “you’re so strong” or “you look great”, you can agree by saying “thank you.” If it’s someone close, you might explain exactly how you’re doing. But if you don’t know them very well or you don’t have the energy to explain, simply thank them and move on with your day.

  2. When someone tells you to focus on the positive, you might quip back something witty. For me, I might say, yes, my donor was CMV positive and I ended up hospitalized because of it. But I do like to be positive. Thanks for reminding me. Just not too positive.

  3. If someone asks you if you’re better now, tell them how you’re feeling that day. Being honest, without divulging information you aren’t comfortable with, is usually the best way to respond to this. I’ll often tell people, “I’m doing well now. I’ve got some nausea in the morning and I’ve had some tremors from the medication, but overall my labs are looking good right now.” This lets them know that my journey isn’t over, but that things are stable right now.

  4. When people tell you about a new off the wall treatment, either thank them or tell them that you like how you’re managing your symptoms right now. If they persist, you might ask them a different strangely intrusive question about themselves. It’s whatever you’re feeling in the mood for.

The point is that you don’t need to add stress to your body’s already stressed state. Look for the good in what people are saying. Question if the words they are saying really mean what you are making them mean. For example, if someone says “I could never deal with what you’re going through,” instead of making it mean that they are pitying you and judging your life, you could also see that it’s possible they are giving you a high compliment. Both could be just as true. The suffering comes in us thinking that people should not say these things to us. And, while it would be nice if they didn’t, we don’t need them to stop for you to give yourself the love, admiration, and validation that you deserve. That’s a gift you can give to yourself. And you don’t need anyone else to do it for you (although it wouldn’t hurt if they did).

You are worthy, you are loved, and you are of infinite worth. And no one’s words can take that away from you.

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