5 Ways to Avoid Mold in Your Home

For almost a year I watched my best friend struggle with mystery symptoms that paralyzed her ability to live her life. She went from doctor to doctor trying to find answers. No one was able to figure out the root of her symptoms.

After months and months of searching for answers she finally pinpointed the root of her problems located in the walls of the studio she was working out of. It was behind those walls that she found Stachybotrys and Chaetomium, two species of very toxic mold. Seeing her health decline, I recognized that our environment can play a very important role in our health. I also realized that mold is still a very unrecognized environmental threat.

Many people don’t believe mold can make a person so sick — and before seeing this happen to my best friend, I didn’t know the extent at which mold could hurt someone either. This is why I decided to start studying Building Biology and redirect my interior design business to focus solely on creating healthy homes that prevent mold, chemical, and EMF (Electromagnetic Frequency) exposure and also why I want to share with you some ways you can avoid mold in your own home.

Mold isn’t the only toxin in our homes, but it is certainly one of the major players and unfortunately, the way we build our homes today encourages mold growth so we have to be pay special attention to how we create moisture in our home so we don’t wind up with thousands in hospital bills, remediation, and remodeling fees.

It’s a common misconception that mold only grows in humid climates.

This is absolutely not true. I have seen many cases of mold in dry climates and it’s because mold only needs three things to grow and survive:

Food (as small as dust)
Water (as little as water vapor)
Warm place to hang (AKA same temperature that we like)

This means, if we’re not managing our dust and our moisture, we are providing mold with all of the things it needs to survive in our environment.

HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO PREVENT MOLD FROM GROWING IN YOUR HOME.

1. UNDERSTAND THE HISTORY OF THE HOME

First of all, if you are someone who might be experiencing mystery symptoms of your own, don’t rule out mold. Consider if there has ever been a water event that might have caused previous damage to the home. This could be a flood or it could be something as simple as a slow leak from under your sink. If these water events weren’t handled properly from the get go, you may be dealing with a mold problem before even moving into the home.

You might be able to tell if there was a water event prior to you moving in by noticing any water damaged materials in the home.

Are there warped looking walls or wood?

If you notice this, you may consider testing the home for mold and working with a functional diagnostic practitioner to test your body for mycotoxins (toxins created from mold). Testing your body and your home helps you to mirror what might be going on.

2. KEEP YOUR WET ROOMS IN CHECK

A wet room is any room in the home that we have a water supply to:

Restrooms

Kitchens
Laundry rooms

It’s crucial to keep an eye on these rooms often and make sure there’s no standing water or water leaks in these areas.

Regular inspections around toilets, bathtubs, and showers are critical in preventing mold and noticing a problem before it starts. Look for failed caulking, discolored flooring and grout, check to make sure the toilet is fastened securely, and that the sink cabinets are not blistering.

Limit the amount of things you keep under your sinks and keep them in bins so you can easily pull them out and check your pipes is a helpful tool in keeping a close watch.

Cleaning out the drains once a month is also another helpful way to keep mold and other biofilms from growing in them.

DRAIN CLEANER RECIPE:

Pour ½ cup baking soda and 1 cup white vinegar down the drains.

After the mixture fizzes up, let it sit for 15 minutes.

Follow by pouring hot water down the drain.
Be careful not to pour boiling water down the drains in case you have PVC pipes.

Top with a home probiotic spray like Home Biotic.

3. MANAGE INDOOR WATER VAPOR

We perform a variety of tasks indoors that create water in the form of vapor within the home. Ideally, you want to keep the humidity levels below 45% RH (relative humidity). This can be measured using a hygrometer that can be purchased online.

Some things that create excess water vapor in the home are showering and cooking.

It’s critical to run an exhaust fan when you’re doing either of these activities and making sure the fan is properly sized for the room. You also want to confirm that the fan is actually exhausting out of the home and isn’t just recirculating throughout the home creating excess humidity. Another option is to get a Restroom exhaust fan that comes preinstalled with a humidistat that will automatically sense the humidity in the room and run the fan until the humidity level has dropped.

4. MANAGE YOUR DUST

Dust is food for mold. Combined with water vapor, mold can latch on and colonize and this can create a mold problem within your home. Additionally, mold spores are among some of the toxins that actually make up the composition of dust. This makes managing dust a crucial step to creating a mold free environment.

Maintain areas in the home that are often forgetting about and don’t forget hard to reach places. Especially in locations where there might be high humidity like restrooms and kitchens. For instance, the tops of our kitchen cabinets are usually very dusty and when we cook steam is released into the air causing higher levels of humidity in the room. Make sure you’re regularly checking for dust above your cabinets so you don’t find yourself with a mold issue.

5. MAINTAIN CLEAN APPLIANCES

This seems like a no brainer, but oftentimes we forget to clean and maintain our appliances and we run the risk of growing mold inside of them.

DISHWASHERS

Let these dry out after each use and clean them regularly by running an empty load and throwing 1 cup of white vinegar in the bottom. You also want to wipe down the rubber gasket seal around the perimeter, as this can be a breeding ground for mold. Another option is to ditch this appliance all together if you don’t clean it often, because it’s super prone to cause mold growth.

REFRIGERATORS

Refrigerators are cold and can create condensation inside on the shelves and around the rubber seal, so oftentimes we will find mold growing along the edges. Keep these areas clean and use a nontoxic spray, like Branch Basics, to regularly wipe down the gasket and keep food particles from hanging around. If you have a water filter, you will also want to pull the fridge out and empty the drop pan to make sure there’s not water overflowing underneath or behind the appliance.

WASHING MACHINES

Front loader washing machines sure have a nice look, but the rubber seal around the front of the washing machine can be hard to clean. Water can get trapped and mold has been known to rear its ugly head between the seal and unit itself. Keep this area dry and wipe it down with a towel after each load. Always keep the door open so it can get plenty of airflow.

Maintenance is Key.

It’s easy to underestimate the toxic power of mold. It’s hard to relate our brain fog, dizziness, weight gain, or fatigue to something that you might not even be able to see with the visible eye. Additionally, this creates a huge disconnect between our health and our home. Not to mention, most of society pushes us to believe this is just a part of getting older.

We do not believe this to be true at Awakening Spaces. The steps listed above are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to prevention. If you think you might be suffering from mold illness or any of the symptoms mentioned above, it might be worth taking a closer look to see if your environment is playing a role.

Ashley Spanovich
Mar, 30, 2021

Attachment Styles: How They Are Affecting Your Relationships

I used to live in fear that my husband was going to leave me every time there was an argument between us. There were times I would lay awake at night, obsessively thinking about how much he did not wish to be as close as I would like for him to be to me.

Highly attuned to any fluctuations in his moods, I took most of his actions personally, experiencing a lot of negative emotions within our relationship. I was regularly getting upset: experiencing headaches, stomach aches, panic attacks, and non-stop crying.

There were other things that contributed to my constantly being on high alert, in particular, my having been a trauma survivor with PTSD. Throughout most of my life, my thoughts centered around all of my significant relationships.

Wanting to resolve the conflict within these relationships consumed a large part of my time, as well as emotional energy. I was exhausted, my adrenals were drained, and the worst part was, I didn’t really have the tools to know how to make it stop.

A few years later, I stumbled upon and finally read the highly recommended book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. I sat up all night, tears streaming down my cheeks in release, devastated, why had it taken me so long to discover this information?

I am considered an anxious attachment style. Now it all finally made sense.

Consuming each page carefully and absorbing every word, I could clearly see my energy investment and contribution to every relationship I had in my life. Now I felt compelled to take action and responsibility for what I would like to do differently going forward.

Learning Your Attachment Style

First on the list was learning how to tap into the mindset of creating a secure base for myself, my relationship with my daughter, and my husband.

If you haven’t heard of attachment theory, the theory of attachment styles comes from the work psychoanalyst John Bowlby and psychologist Mary Ainsworth performed with infants (usually 9 to 18 months old) and their mothers, during the 1960s and 70s.

The classification comes from how an infant reacted to a strange situation test (the reaction to the reunion with a parent after a stressful separation). Bowlby and Ainsworth were able to clearly identify three different styles: anxious, avoidant and secure.

Since that time, attachment theory has become a useful system for re-thinking complex relationship dynamics and reexamining early childhood traumas.

Knowing your attachment style improves your ability to communicate with your family members, and if you are coupled, improves your relationship with your primary partner. If you are single, understanding your style can help you choose the most supportive and vibrationally aligned life partner, partnerships, or friendships for you.

Once you’ve determined your attachment style through an online quiz, you are empowered to learn techniques and principles to resolve personal conflict and effectively communicate when you are in an emotionally triggered state.

The Power of Understanding

Growing up with a secure attachment style isn’t so much about the absence of trauma, but about having a childhood where your needs are met and emotions validated by your primary caregiver. In adulthood, a secure attachment style in a partner relationship means someone who is “attuned to their partner’s emotional and physical cues and know[s] how to respond to them,” as Levine and Heller write in Attached. Non-crisis levels of tension in a relationship don’t make the securely attached person totally shut down or react with an activated or outsized fight or flight response.

If you can see yourself clearly and are able to stay grounded and talk through difficult things in an open manner without getting emotionally flooded or shut down, you have a secure attachment style. Someone with secure attachment is more likely to look at situations more objectively, without overindulging in self-blame, while still being able to take ownership of mistakes.

50% of the population are considered secure attachment styles, and the rest happen to fall within an anxious or avoidant attachment style. If the latter is true for you, your goal is to find more ways of providing inner security and interdependency by learning how to soothe your own inner child. Or partnering with a secure partner which enables you to become more secure over time.

Providing security for oneself requires you to stay present and make yourself available for any and all emotions you are feeling, to learn ways to manage and emotionally regulate your reactions in real time, and continually practice ways of encouraging yourself when you are in a reactive state. Some of the ways might include guided meditation, positive mindset through affirmations or mantras, mindfulness and breathing techniques, or simply a focus on journaling gratitude.

Of course, this is a long, slow process. Unlearning maladaptive attachment styles has to start with compassion for yourself, as these habits were formed to protect yourself as a child. They likely kept you safe, alert to untrustworthy bonds, and served you well. But in adulthood, you don’t need to use these behaviors any longer; it’s time to thank them for looking out for your emotional safety and ask them to take a rest.

For me, feeling security is about knowing that things that make me anxious are safe to bring up in a relationship without the fear of negative reactions to my vulnerability. I also practice doing the same thing for others. It does not mean that I won’t experience conflict or difficulty working through things, but it does mean that conflict produces greater levels of intimacy, security, and growth with those around me, rather than a contact high of codependent enmeshment or a total shutdown of intimacy between us.

Andrea Firpo
Mar, 24, 2021

How to Correctly Drink Water, According to Ayurveda

Since childhood we have been taught that water is good for us. In fact, we were told we can’t live without it. While all of those things are fundamentally true, there are multiple things to consider before you take that next sip.

As an Ayurvedic Counselor, I see many who struggle with their digestion due to common misconceptions about how we should be consuming our food and beverages. With the unparalleled amount of information available to us today, it can be an overwhelming feeling of knowing what to do for our bodies. This is where the magic of Ayurveda is transformative.

For those of you who may be new to the Ayurvedic space, Ayurveda is considered by many scholars to be the oldest healing science dating back to 5,000 B.C. With its roots in ancient India, it’s based on the notion that good health depends on the balance between our mind, body and spirit.

When we choose to make a few simple shifts to our habits, we’re able to cultivate balance within our mind and body. But before changes can be made, we must first understand the common wellness mistakes we are subjecting ourselves to. To help you get on the right track, here are a few easy to implement, yet important Ayurvedic tips to drinking water.

Ayurvedic Tips to Drink Water

Drink Water at Room Temperature or Warmer

A lot of us reach for an ice cold glass of water when we’re thirsty, but in Ayurveda, drinking cold water is a no, no. Why? Consider your stomach a bonfire. If you were to dump cold water on that fire, what would happen? It dies out immediately, right? Think of your digestive system the same way. When you choose to eat or drink cold beverages, you’re hindering proper digestion which can accumulate as toxins within the body. Drinking warm water helps to flush out the toxins and keep your digestive system on track, which is why it is always advised to drink room temperature water throughout the day.

Know the Indicators Your Body Gives You When You Are Thirsty

Do you listen to your body for hydration cues? There are three indicators that are frequently overlooked, but easy to spot. The first and most common is thirst. When you find that your mouth is parched, take a sip of water. The second is the color of your urine. A dark yellow color may indicate dehydration, while fairly clear and straw colored urine is a sign of good hydration. Another dehydration indicator is dry or chapped lips, so instead of reaching for your chapstick, look for your water.

Sit Down to Drink Rather Than Standing

Just like you sit to eat, it’s important that you sit to drink. This is because it allows your body to properly filter the nutrients and direct the water to areas in your body that need nourishing, rather than going directly into your stomach with force, as it does when you’re standing. By choosing to drink and stand, it can also disrupt the balance of fluids within your body and can lead to arthritis due to greater accumulation of fluids in the joints.

Take Small Sips, No Chugging

Chugging should always be avoided, as the force involved with chugging disrupts your internal organs due to its rapid splashing on its way down. A golden rule is to always keep your body in a state of relaxation so your organs can work efficiently. The next time you take a drink, make it a point to drink in small sips; slowly and mindfully. By doing this, you’re reducing the stress on your heart while giving your body more time to absorb the water.

Sarah Branner
Mar, 17, 2021

Creating in the Time of Corona

Re(de)fined
On the inside looking out.
An undefined space yet to be discovered.
The clock on the wall ticks and the window is just a window.
On the outside searching within.
A defined square feet of space.
Time is defined.
Before and after.
Past and Future.
Then and eventually.
The world beyond the window has changed.
Peering through to the outside.
Witnessing.
How to redefine?
The window is no longer a window.
The clock on the wall has stopped ticking.

My name is Julee Mahon and I am a dance artist. Yes, I spell my name with two e’s and no i’s, which is pretty much the perfect amount of drama and efficiency I tend to surround myself with. I took my first dance class at the age of two and a half and from then on have always described myself as a dancer.

Julee the dancer, that’s me.

As a teen I was at the dance studio 5 nights a week training and getting ready for competitions. I was then accepted into a dance performing arts program in my hometown for my final two years in high school. In fall of 2009 I moved to Philadelphia to start off my college career as a BFA Dance major at Temple University. Over my four years at Temple I met wonderful dancers, and had many performance opportunities all over the city, so come graduation I decided to stay and immerse myself into the small yet fierce arts and dance community of Philadelphia.

Now it is 2021 and I am still here. But where are the arts?

As a creative, 2020 looked very different than the one I had imagined. 2019 was full of energy and inspiration, ideas and performances. New opportunities were awaiting for 2020.

As I look back on 2020 creatively speaking it was bleak. Bleak in terms of motivation and inspiration, energy, and exploration. I found myself asking the questions:

How do I create when I am not inspired?
How do I create when I am not motivated?
How do I create when I have no energy?
Who do I create for?
Where do I find my audience?
Who is my audience?

And finally the big one; How do I create?

I felt like I lost a sense of myself. That part of me that was curious and looks to discover and move. When I dance, I have this feeling of freedom but it went away when I stopped creating. Some days I moved because I felt I had to. Other days I moved because I needed to. But most days I moved from my bedroom to the kitchen and vice versa. In 2020, I forgot what it was like to move as an artist. I felt human again, like superman without his strength. I felt I lost the part of myself that made me a dancer and an artist.

At first it was fatigue. Then it was a failure. And finally fear, that kept me from dancing.

The fatigue came when I lost sense of time. My full-time job had no start or end time. I would work until I fell asleep and I would wake up and get right back to work. The feeling of failure came when I chose to not take a virtual dance class because I couldn’t bear to stare at a screen any longer. I took one class from a teacher I admired, but staring at the screen and moving made me nauseous. It was as if my body was rejecting dance. What previously brought me immense joy was now making me sick. In order to keep my body safe I said ‘no’ to dance. That was the first time I have ever done that. I have always chosen dance. I chose dance over going to school football games. I chose dance over prom. I chose dance over boyfriends. It was always there for me, until it wasn’t.

Then came the fear. I couldn’t fail at something I didn’t even try for, right? Would I even remember how to move? That was my biggest fear.

Through journaling and support from friends, I have been able to work through my fear and my unrealistic expectations of what I think dance means to me. Now that it has reached 2021 and we are almost one year into the Corona Virus pandemic, I am looking into the new year with some clarity.

It is okay to feel fatigued, everyone does. You are not alone. It is okay to give yourself what your body needs. Failure is a myth you tell yourself out of fear. My mind was making up excuses for me to not even put in any effort. Instead of just saying NO and give myself time to rest, I said NO and then burdened myself with the guilt of it.

I needed to let go of my expectations and not be so hard on myself. I was bullying myself and didn’t even realize it. When I came to this realization I felt such a relief. I was able to think clearer and felt more confident in continuing my creative process and working my way back to Julee the dancer.

My solutions:

Buying a journal

This journal is only for dance. I like knowing that, other than my body, this journal is also a tool. A sacred tool that will hold any idea or piece of inspiration that will keep my creativity alive. Writing everything down will make it real and will get it all out of my head. This book has one rule, and that rule is there is no judgment. No matter the idea, write it down. Just write anything and everything!

Moving is moving

I was upset with myself for not dancing but at the same time shaming myself for engaging in other forms of movement. I started congratulating myself for all the movement I did. Running: you go girl! Zumba: yassss! Yoga: you stretched today! I started to teach creative movement to kids, so I could share my love of dance with the next generation! Celebrate all movements no matter how big or small. Even though it may not be a modern dance class I was still moving my body!

Prioritize dance

It is no secret I love to dance, so why not prioritize it in my life. Make time to take a class. With the online options, give yourself time to get used to it and do what you can. You can go at your own pace in your home, that is judgement free! Work your way up to masking up and taking class in person, if your community offers that. But know there is no reason to rush your own process.

getting creative

Right now with technology at our fingertips nothing is off limits. Now is the time to rewrite all the rules and expand your mind to think even farther out of the box. Art has no limit. No one and everyone is your audience. Putting work on social media platforms expands your reach and brings art to your community and beyond!

2020 has been a year like no other. I have learned a great deal about myself and about my art. I can honestly say I look forward to what the rest of 2021 will bring. I know I am not alone, I deserve to be kind to myself, and dance will always be there no matter what.

Cheers to more dancing and creating.

Julee C Mahon
Mar, 10, 2021

Bringing Mindfulness Into Your Everyday Life

How often do you feel joy? Genuine, inhibited joy? What if one simple activity could help you notice and create joy more often?

Mindfulness is a way to notice our thoughts, be patient with ourselves, and intentionally chose how we want to move forward. When we bring awareness into our daily activities we are able to actively seek the joy of being alive. Living mindfully also helps us to more easily take in the goodness that surrounds us each day. You learn to savor. You learn to be forgiving — especially to yourself.

It’s often thought that mediation means that you must quiet the mind completely, which can feel incredibly difficult — we are human after all. However, mindfulness and meditation are really about teaching us how to quiet distractions and just pay attention to the present moment. To forget about our to-do lists, a work conflict, or what you’re making for dinner that evening.

In meditation, I encourage you to choose to focus on one thing at a time. Notice your mind wandering away from the chosen anchor, and with kindness and compassion bring your awareness back. As we become better at focusing on the present moment, we gain a new awareness of the beautiful things that happen around us all the time. Plus, we spend less time ruminating about the past and fretting about the future.

3 tips to intentionally be mindful and begin a meditation practice

Micro-meditation

It is important to start your meditation practice in a way that feels realistic and accessible to you. So, feel empowered that micro-meditions are a thing. A micro-meditation is as little as one intentional breath or one full minute of thoughtful breathing. That’s it!

Take one thoughtful deep breath before or after a tough conversation. I promise it will make a difference.

When you wake up, do something that brings you joy

It has been shown that the way we start our day affects the way we end it. Instead of going straight to your phone answering emails or text messages, try to take a few deep belly breaths. Inhale through your nose until your belly is full with air and then loudly exhale out your mouth.

I encourage all people to take 30 minutes to an hour between the time they wake up and when they start their work for the day to do something mindful. And, by mindful, I mean just being totally present doing something you love. Something that brings you joy.

Mantras

Spoken words can be a great way to focus attention. One mantra we love is, “Peace begins *deep inhale, with me deep exhale* .”

Leave a post-it on your mirror to remind you of this mantra. Recite these simple words every morning and night, and throughout the day as needed.

Peace, joy, and lightness live within all of us. Meditation and mindfulness allow us to tap into a deeper sense of peace and joy. If you’re looking for guidance on these practices, our Realistic Self Care course aims to change the way your mind processes adversity. We will help you manage the everyday stressors of life with simple, actionable tools – to learn more visit our website.

Molly Woodull
Mar, 03, 2021

Grief: Processing Regret, Forgiveness, and Memories of Love

I’ve tried to write this a few times, trying to find the right words to say, hoping that this would be insightful and even helpful. But the truth is, grief is surprising. It is messy and complicated, unpredictable and uncomfortable.

The reason this is so hard for me is because I lost a dear friend in a tragic accident 5 days before Christmas—and I’ve been having a difficult time trying to process this. I’ve experienced death from a distance and even as a support to my husband. I knew in some ways what to expect, but at its deepest level, I wasn’t expecting everything else that came along with it.

In some ways, I feel at peace with my feelings. Yes, there is regret, which I think is a completely normal and justifiable response. But I can’t help but think…if I had just seen her or hugged her or done whatever with her one last time, or about the moments I will never have with her. And then I think of the amount of pain her family is going through. She was only 23. Yes, death is part of life, but 23. That’s just getting started.

I think our regret comes from grieving an illusionary life that we imagined but will never get to come to fruition.

This past year has opened my eyes and my heart to a lot of different practices. One of which is radical forgiveness. This can be done for yourself or for others, but the process is the same. While we have no control over others, we do have control over ourselves. Forgiveness is not for the other person to give; it is a gift to and for yourself. In a situation where you are running multiple scenarios through your head and multiple futures of what could be, this is the time for forgiveness. Forgive yourself for what could not be or for all that you wish you would have been done differently. This is the story of grief; being in this cycle. We will never get another chance with them. Forgive all parts of yourself that you have any guilt about.

Ho’oponopono

My favorite practice is called Ho’oponopono. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice for forgiveness and self-healing. The process was founded and adapted to modern times by Hawaiian Kahuna Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona. It is absolutely fascinating to read about and I will simply summarize how I have used this technique to cope with the loss of my friend.

Step 1: Repentance

For this instance you could say something along the lines of “I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you in a way that you needed.” You are essentially placing the responsibility on to yourself.

Step 2: forgiveness

The step where we ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t necessarily matter who you are asking, just ask. “Please forgive me” and mean this so deeply. You could follow up with “Please forgive me for (insert situation or scenario).

Step 3: gratitude

Simply, “Thank you”. Now with grief, this is where I would shift into the feeling of being able to share in their life. They were a gift to us, for whatever that means to you, express gratitude for being able to share in this physical world with you for the time that they did.

Step 4: Love

Last step is probably the most important. Saying “I love you.”
Say this to the person you are experiencing grief over losing. Say this to God or whomever you call to, in times of need. Say it to your friends and family, but also to yourself. Love is the most powerful force in this world and can change the mood in any room. We grieve because we love.

In grief, nothing makes any sense. Time doesn’t exist in your world. Days and weeks, months and years go by and it’s as if you are frozen. Still in the moment where everything in your life crumbled with news that would forever impact your everyday life. You look up at the sky and you see a cloud that reminds you of “that one time…” with your person. Any sense can trigger a memory. A sound, smell, taste, or feel of something can take you back as if it were happening right at that very moment. You are momentarily struck, as if frozen deep in that memory.

And the waves continue to crash as if you never had time to come up for air.

It all starts over.

The sting of reality.

The phone call you want to make to a person that will never pick up.

Realizing the moments that will never be shared together in this physical life. As one walks in our reality and the other glides in the spirit realm.

Words are hard to convey, emotions are even harder.

“It is what it is”

But don’t I wish it could all just be a nightmare I could wake up from.

Grief is something I wish we didn’t have to experience, but as you know, that is life. In some ways, perhaps the process of our loved ones’ departure is teaching us something we could never learn if they were here—a catalyst. Though a meaningful and painful one.

Someone passing away can be a point where you can turn your life around. Where you get to embody the very best parts of your loved one and carry that presence around with you wherever you go. The power of truly being present and not regretting any single thing at all.

I think that’s the greatest gift we could ever truly give.

Anyone in grief will tell you things both predictable and unpredictable will make you sad, and in those moments, just remember, grief is only misplaced love and if you feel that emotion, you have the opportunity to share that love with others—keeping a piece of them alive. We sort of are our own bully in this situation and we really don’t have to be. We can’t change what was or what wasn’t. We can only learn and do better with other people. This is a whole process in healing and growing. Practice forgiveness on yourself and others. I promise this will be transformative.

And I will leave you with something that was shared at my friends funeral and it was a perfect summary of how our life force energy continues long after we aren’t able to interact in this world physically. “Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart”, from Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium which was followed by another saying, “I like to think that it’s just a change of address.” They are always around us because the love we have for them is inside us and that can never be taken from us.

Sierra Cheetham
Jan, 21, 2021

Women And Abundance As Told For Centuries Past

I read something today in a book about abundance that said women often feel discontent because they want to have it all. They want too much.

It went on to say that women need to be okay with having only what we need and not everything we want. While I believe whole-heartedly that we should be thankful and content for everything we have, I do have a problem with implicating that we, as women, desire too much and should not have lofty desires in the first place.

For centuries women have been told what they can and cannot have. They have been told to be meek and safe in their pursuits. To be cautionary in their adventures in fear of making the wrong step, of upsetting the wrong person. It is something so ingrained into our being, playing it safe, holding ourselves back has become a norm that has passed down from generation to generation.

By believing that you cannot have everything you desire, you are, in turn, telling the universe that you don’t deserve everything you desire — so it will never come to you. Life is about cultivating an experience that we love and find joy in, so why would you tell yourself that you can’t have, don’t deserve, the things that will bring in those very feelings?

You can have everything you want. It isn’t a matter of worthiness. It’s a matter of what you are willing to do in order to get what you want.

Several years ago I was deep within an autoimmune flare. I was searching for a diagnosis for months and was in an immeasurable amount of pain every day. If I undertook this belief described in this book, I could not have achieved everything I wanted — health would not be an option for me. I would have settled into the sickness, claiming it as my own, resigning in my pain and grief over my seemingly broken body. However, I refused that outcome. I worked tirelessly to find answers. To find providers who could actually help me and believed that I truly was sick. It wasn’t fast coming and it certainly wasn’t easy, but I finally did achieve the health I was looking for.

The only reason that was able to occur was because I believed (even without proof) that it was available to me. If you are willing to do the work, to do whatever needs to be done to set the course for what you want, you can have anything you want. The world is yours. It is there waiting for you to take it.

Should you grasp, white knuckled, for your desires? No.

Should you be desperate and impatient for what you want? Absolutely not.

But you need to dream. You need to daydream and visualize and conceptualize what it is you actually want in this life. Call it in and believe that it is obtainable. Go after what you want and believe that you can have it — then plant the seeds. Set the goals and actions to make it happen. It is yours.

Alyssa McDowell
Jan, 14, 2021

Music Can Impact Your Mental Health

Have you ever wondered why hearing your favorite song always seems to put you in a good mood? Or why you’ll never be able to listen to your grandmother’s favorite song after her passing because it’s just too sad? Or how loud music and cheering fans makes such an impact at a sports game?

Music is all around us, even when we don’t realize it. It’s vitally important to our society and can make a lasting impact on our mental health, both consciously and subconsciously. Here are a few unique ways music impacts our daily mental wellness:

IT CAN INFLUENCE OUR SPENDING HABITS

Did you know that stores play background music as you’re shopping? The next time you walk into the grocery store, stop and take a listen — that music was chosen on purpose.

Many large companies take time to research the impacts of music on consumerism — no surprise there. So the music you’re listening to is a deliberate attempt to get you to slow down and take your time shopping — therefore making you more inclined to spend more money. Tricky, huh?

While you’re at it, pay attention to commercials, too. Each song is deliberately chosen to evoke a specific feeling the company wants you to associate with their brand. And have you ever noticed how those jingles are so catchy? That’s on purpose. Bet you’ll never forget who the jingle is associated with; that company worked hard to build brand recognition.

Takeaway: Music is a very powerful tool that influences many of our subconscious behaviors. If you take notice of it, however, you can work to minimize its influence.

IT CAN CHANGE OUR MOOD

If you’re wondering why that one specific song means so much to you, it’s because music literally changes our mood. When we listen to specific types of music (or even sounds) the chemicals in our brain fire in different, predetermined ways. Because each of us is wired a little differently, our chemicals and neurotransmitters fire in different ways, at different times.

For instance, if a parent hears their baby crying it can trigger a rise in cortisol (the stress hormone). Likewise, if you hear a song that reminds you of a happy memory, it triggers a rise in dopamine (the happiness hormone). Certain songs can change the way we feel in an instant, and leave lasting effects.

One of the strongest instances of this for me was when I visited the Warner Bros. Studio in February of last year. In one part of the exhibit, they had a sound effects simulation. The person running the experience allowed us to watch a clip from a thriller movie with different types of sounds: only sound effects, only dialogue, only music, and all three together. I was shocked at how heavily the music influenced my mood, especially when it wasn’t being played. I could actually stand to watch the movie instead of covering my eyes!

Takeaway: Take notice of all the times when you may be triggered by specific types of music. It’s ok not to listen to them if they make you feel lousy. Likewise, if a song really pumps you up, you can use it to influence your mood on a crummy day.

Take Control of Your Ears

Listening to anything is a form of consumerism, whether or not we realize it. From the playlists we choose, to the news playing in the background, all of these sounds influence the way we feel, think, and act.

One way to practice self-care is to carefully pay attention to what you’re listening to each day.

If you’re looking for a way to wake up feeling more refreshed and less hurried, consider changing your alarm tone to something more soothing that gently wakes you up over the course of a few minutes. Instead of listening to the news in the car, try putting on a fun playlist of songs that you can sing along too.

Takeaway: When you realize that music has an effect on your mental health, you can begin to take action.

As a professionally trained musician, I’ve known for years that music can have an incredible impact on the way we live our lives. It’s important to understand that we have control over how we respond to aural stimuli, it’s just a matter of being able to actively listen for them.

Meaghan Dunham
Jan, 01, 2021

How To Care For Your Body Intuitively And With Self-Compassion

Mindfulness. Intuitive eating. Self-compassion. These are terms that we have become familiar with as so many are craving new ways of coping, connecting with ourselves and relating to each other. But as these concepts become buzz words or are over-commercialized, we risk losing the spirit of what is important.

When it comes to eating and how we relate to our bodies, many of us become paralyzed in our pursuit of mindfulness. There are literally hundreds of food documentaries telling us the different diets that we should adhere to, but they all seem to contradict each other. For the most part, the media still portrays only one type of body as desirable. We are living in the most over-worked, disconnected, and financially burdened society ever. Stigmas against mental illness run rampant. And the icing on the cake; we’re burned out and fatigued from the state of the current world. Thank you, COVID-19. Intuitive eating, mindfulness and self-compassion can turn our external focus back inward, allowing us to tap into the wisdom of our own bodies. And to do this, we must be able to listen to our own needs and turn down the voices of outside influences.

Six years ago, I began working in the field of eating disorder treatment. While diet culture is in no way the sole cause of eating disorders, it can be incredibly activating and certainly does not help anyone’s recovery process. As I helped to support and guide people in healing their relationship with food and their bodies, I became more and more angry at the “diet culture” we are all daily subject to. I challenged myself to begin examining my own behaviors and core beliefs around food and my body. I leaned into the discomfort and got painfully honest about the negative behaviors and beliefs that I engaged in and at times even cultivated. And I realized that if I was to preach freedom from this suffocating chaos to others, I had to first be free myself.

SO, WHAT DID THIS PROCESS LOOK LIKE?

Well, I examined the chronic need to lose 10 pounds (or so I thought). The daily weighing and seeking approval from my bathroom scale. Guilt if I gained even a single pound. Negative body image. My relentless inner critic shaming me throughout the day. Perfectionism. Moderate food restriction and diets. While this was a different path than one who might be struggling with taking even a small bite, it was also an important journey.

No, I did not have anorexia. But why did I weigh myself every day? Why was I afraid of certain foods? Why did I constantly feel the need to change myself? Why did I struggle so much to accept my body? I stopped exercising rigorously and I had a major shift in my perception.

To my surprise, my body DID NOT CHANGE, at least not that much. I slowly began to trust my body. I stopped censoring the food I was eating, and most of the time I ate when hungry and I stopped when full. It’s a miracle how much easier it is to not overeat when you haven’t deprived yourself throughout the day! I think the fear underlying this kind of freedom is often externally imposed on by diet culture. We are taught that if we don’t do drastic things—like buy those supplements or join that gym—we will just keep gaining and gaining. We undermine our metabolism and our own innate instincts. I started exercising again when it came from a place of desire versus a place of fear and shame.

Through trusting myself, I learned that my body has a natural place it wants to be.

If I honor and accept this, I can innately listen to what my body wants versus trying to change or control it. I can trust my hunger cues and move my body in ways that feel good and in ways that align with my values. For me this looks like three meals and three snacks each day. All food is good; nothing is forbidden. I began enjoying those “off limit” foods in moderation such as cake, fries and mac-and-cheese. And I love fruits and veggies. I engage my body joyfully through peaceful walks, hiking, yoga and running. I ditched CrossFit. Why? Because I HATED it. That’s just me. Today, I get to listen to what sounds good and what my body needs. This ultimately frees up A LOT more time and energy for the things that really matter!

I believe that it is vitally important to examine our relationship with food and our bodies. Body image affects almost all areas of our life. Our relationships—romantic and platonic alike—our performance at school and work, and our sexual choices and experiences. How do you know if this journey is for you? It can be really clarifying to start with being gentle and curious with yourself.

Think about these questions to investigate your own personal experience:

How would you describe your relationship with your body?
When you think of your body, what comes to mind? What thoughts and feelings come to mind? How do you deal with these thoughts and feelings? What do you tell yourself about these thoughts and feelings?
What are the physical characteristics you may need to accept about yourself?
What are the negative body image thoughts you need to reduce or eliminate?
What are the situations you would like to feel more comfortable in?
What beliefs and behaviors do you need to change to be less invested in appearance-based self-worth?
What are the consequences or impacts that your body image struggles produce, and what do you want to change?

5 philosophies for caring for your body

Not every one of these may feel right for you; explore a few and see how they work.

SELF-COMPASSION

Treating ourselves with kindness can motivate us internally and allow us to show more compassion externally. There are a number of misunderstandings about self-compassion. For example, the core belief that self-compassion will make a person selfish or lazy, but science proves otherwise. Self-compassion is an inner resource that helps us survive adversity, build resiliency, and it motivates us to achieve our goals. We receive more energy and motivation from love versus fear.

INTUITIVE EATING

Avoid giving moral value to food. An intuitive eater is defined as a person who “makes food choices without experiencing guilt or an ethical dilemma, honors hunger, respects fullness and enjoys the pleasure of eating.”

MINDFUL EATING

Maintaining an in-the-moment awareness of the food and fluid you put into your body. It involves observing how the food makes you feel and the signals your body sends about taste, satisfaction, and fullness.

JOYFUL MOVEMENT

Joyful movement is a way of approaching physical activity that emphasizes pleasure and choice. Exercise often feels compulsory — it’s done to earn food or burn off food, and to punish the body for not fitting into arbitrary and unrealistic ideals. Joyful movement recognizes the right to rest as well as the benefits of rest, and your choice in whether to engage with it or not. How do you find joy in movement? Well, what did you love to do as a kid? What do you look forward to versus dread? Do you enjoy walking your dog, or do you prefer going to a candlelight yoga class? Listen to your body and do what feels good.

MIRROR WORK

What I really love about mirror work is that it can be a combination of intimately connecting with yourself, as well as exposure to yourself. We can intimately connect when looking into our own eyes while stating affirmations. Louise Hay’s Mirror Workbook takes you on this journey in “Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life.” Mirror work can also be repeatedly standing in front of your mirror, becoming more comfortable with all parts of your body. When doing this, it is important to set all judgement aside. This needs to be an exercise that is either neutral or affirming. If you find yourself criticizing, you may not be ready to take this step.

Taking the time to utilize these resources have aided in the ongoing journey of self-acceptance for both myself and for so many others. With the holidays approaching these practices can be especially helpful. Purposefully focusing your attention on the present can help you embrace companionship, connectivity, and overall contentment and help make the season of celebration more meaningful for you and your loved ones.

Leila Boytler
Dec, 02, 2020

Witch Wounds And Good Girl Myths

We just closed our spooky season, but some are still feeling the witchy vibes abound. The witch archetype is portrayed in our society as an outcast — a spell binding recluse, capable of only evil. She is to be feared. Or is she just misunderstood? In recent history, many researchers have begun to explore the misunderstanding of this archetype and just how detrimental it has been in the women of our society.

They deem it the Witch Wound.

It is a wound that all women carry that impacts their ability to live as their sovereign self. Women are left feeling like they are not enough, don’t have a voice, and are not safe to express themselves in their full capacity. Sound familiar? Keep reading.

Long ago, women were the hinge of their tribes as a vessel for new life. They were the life-givers, healers, midwives, medicine women, and, above all, had a voice within the tribe as “the wise one.” The power of a woman was honored through divine feminine energy: emotion, creativity, intuition, flow, nurture. A woman who was connected to the earth, relied on her intuition, and lived in flow without fear of sharing this knowledge was known as a witch of sorts. In fact, the mere etymology of the word witch is derived from the term “wicca” or “wise woman,” a complete misunderstanding from the archetype we are programmed to fear and avoid in today’s world.

The intersection of the patriarchy and religion

In Europe centuries ago these institutions denounced many of these tribal healers, particularly Pagan women, as “evil doers” as their knowledge and gifts often threatened the agenda of those institutions. Women who stood in assertion, held knowledge of healing, or lived outside the “good girl” rules were burned at the stake. It’s estimated nearly one hundred thousand women have been condemned and executed over the course of history for their connections to the witch. In a complete gendercide, women were almost guaranteed to be accused at some point in their lives.

Generational Trauma and the witch wound

To understand that women innately carry a Witch Wound is to understand the science of generational trauma. Generational trauma, in a nutshell, is the idea that the trauma in which our ancestors endured biologically changes the expression of the epigenetics in subsequent generations. In other words, trauma can be inherited and can change our psychology or the way in which we react to the world. Think: deep seated fear and anxiety that one doesn’t quite understand, but full on feel it during certain situations. All women in today’s world carry the trauma of the witch wound because many of our female ancestors and the collective of our feminine energy endured the prosecution of women in the witch hunts of the late Middle Age. Whether they were accused or executed, this trauma has stuck into our programming into the modern age.

The Persistence of the Witch Wound in Modern Times

Despite the fact that women are no longer violently burned at the stake here in the US (ps: this is still occurring elsewhere in our world), condemnation of women still exists in less seemingly obvious ways. One of my favorite authors, Majo Molfino, is an expert in this realm and has discovered that there are 5 myths in which many women align themselves to to fit the role of the “good girl” to prove they don’t fit the mold of what our witchy ancestors were burned for (read about it here). Today, the Witch Wound translates into women being “good girls”. Good girls follow rules, they strive to make their homes, careers, children, etc. perfect because they believe the things they do equate to who they are. Good girls believe in what they have been told, rather than utilize their intuition or empirical knowledge. They do not stand in their own truth if it means harmony will be disrupted in their inner circles, families, or careers. They tend to others at the expense of themselves and burn out. All women have all been a victim of these rules at one point in their lives.

Reclaiming the Power of the Witch Within

Women often feel uncomfortable with the idea of a witch; she is the obscure, ugly, typically without a man, often evil, and is ostracized by society. We fear her, the power she holds, and everything she stands for. It’s a misunderstanding that has been programmed into a woman’s literal genes over the course of history. However, the reality is that there is a part of you dying to fall back into the natural rhythm of the energy of Earth and into your sovereign self. The further you press into your desire to break free of the bullshit that takes you out of your own power, the more aware you become of how each invisible rule holds you back from being your own sacred self; a woman who honors herself wholly and stands assertive in her own truth without fear of condemnation.

I implore you to explore further into your own witchy ways. I’m not talking about cooking up spells (although equally as empowering); I’m talking about really having power over your own truth as a woman. Do your research on the invisible good girl rules. Explore how they hold you back. Find ways to release that programming. Let go of the idea that a witch is one to fear; she’s not. She is you.

She is the dream you secretly hold for yourself; the one you daydream about at your shitty 9-5. She is a desire in you to say fuck the rules and forge her own sovereign path. She is your shaky voice around the table of men, rusted beyond years. She is the voice telling you to take the risk on the crop top you love, despite what others may think about your midriff that kept your babies safe as they grew. She is your mama bear intuition and voice inside your head, the one nobody in your family seems to understand.

She is the wise woman who keeps it all together. She is the inner knowing that she is fucking magic and deserves for others to know it too.

Let her out.

Heal your Witch Wound, babe.

She is the wise woman who keeps it all together. She is the inner knowing that she is fucking magic and deserves for others to know it too. Let her out. Heal your Witch Wound, babe.

BR

BR
Nov, 07, 2020

Browsing Category