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Hypnotherapy & Parts Integration

We all have parts within us—an inner critic, a rebel, a rescuer, just to name a few. These parts are created for one reason or another…most are created by the time we turn 8 years old. They are the product of our environment, and our authority figures; how they nurtured us, or didn’t; the examples that they showed, and the actions that we copied. Some are protective defense mechanisms, cultivated out of survival, others are wounded children, acting out in immature ways to get their needs met. Join me as we explore sub-personalities (parts) and discover how hypnotherapy helps this process move more smoothly with ease; but first, if you don’t know what hypnotherapy is or how it works, go up to the Kind Publishing Co. search bar and browse some of the hypnosis articles available. Although they are all on different topics, each one will give you different backgrounds into insights and information on the mechanics of how and why it works, because today, we will strictly focus on parts integration and hypnotherapy and why the two together make the best pairing since PB&J.

Recognizing a part of you that is acting out, will help you understand why it is coming up, and once you know the why, you begin to unravel the how and when it started. This beautiful thread of discovery will lead you to the origin of the issue. It’s in this place, you can reframe the memory into something empowering as you soothe your wounded self, and heal your core wounding.

These processes are based on mixed teachings of Jungian psychology and the author Bill Plotkin and his book, Wild Mind. Each of these parts is a sub-personalities of the self. Think of yourself as completely whole in your entirety when you are born, and then something terrible happens, and you become fractured, altering the lens through which you see the world. When these fractures compound on top of one another, your authentic self becomes hidden, buried under trauma. You are now running on trauma reactions 24/7. This is what it looks like when someone has suffered tremendous instability in childhood or had a life-changing event in adulthood. All humans are fractured to some degree or another, because we live in a universe of duality. It doesn’t mean it’s bad; it just means it simply is. Our job as humans is to heal our fractured parts, integrating them wholly, and rediscover who we are, what we stand for , and who we stand by. So let’s look at what parts exist within you and how you can recognize when one is running the show.

The Wounded Children

These are the parts of you that never grew up and use their immature tactics to get what they want in every situation. They are prone to feeling hurt, sad, anxious, and angry. They are born from neglect, abuse, and abandonment. These parts act up to get their basic needs met in the most immature way possible—likely because it worked for them at some point, so they kept on doing it.

The conformist fears rejection and abandonment. They don’t have their own sense of fashion, they make decisions based on the input of others, they morph into the social groups they are a part of, and they mirror those who they believe “have it together.” Perhaps you knew this person in high school or college, maybe it’s someone in your family, or maybe it’s you. The conformist is created out of safety. It believes it is “safe” to fit in. They believe in what society says is “beautiful.” They would rather be sheep, moving along slowly and just getting by to fit into the unattainable standards of society.

The victim wants to be rescued. They are also motivated by a fear of abandonment. Deep down they feel fearful, unsafe, undeserving, and any sign of confrontation, discipline or trouble sends them into an anxious state. They truly believe they do not have the ability or capability to overcome their problems (Note that this is just one kind of victim). Some people’s victim simply refuses to take any responsibility. They claim they are doing everything they can, that they put everyone above themselves, yet their actions show otherwise. These parts are unique to each individual, and a victim in one person can look slightly different from a victim in another.

Outlaws, born from the conformist, or from a family environment that had low means of income. Perhaps as a child they tried to fit in, and then in teen years or college they got tired of masking, so they rebel against anything and everything, just because they can, or perhaps they were born out of anger towards a society they feel has disregarded them and feel that they are unable to obtain the life they want in an ethical manner. You will find the outlaws protesting for the sake of protesting, arguing for the sake of arguing. They enjoy drinking, sex, and self-sabotaging behavior. Think of the movie bridesmaids, this is a great example of what the rebel thinks it wants; “let’s get fucked up and everything will turn out great…” except it doesn’t because you can’t drink and thrive day-to-day. You can’t destroy your friend’s wedding and have your friendship become stronger. I mean, I guess anything is possible, but it’s highly unlikely. Just because your outlaw thinks it’s fun, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Another outlaw can look much darker; a life of crime and punishment. They rebel against any and all authority figures and are full of anger due to their shortcomings in life.

The princess/prince is also fueled by their abandonment (catching onto a theme here?), however they carry an entitlement due to their wealth, or authority figures who showered them with privilege. However, I do want to add that those where were born without wealth or privilege, can still be entitled.

Loyal Soldiers

Have you ever heard of the theory between your left and right brains? The left brain is analytical and the right brain is creative. Well, if the loyal soldiers were put into a category based on this theory, they would definitely be in the left brain. They are protectors of the self. In fact, they are created to protect you from your wounded children. Everything they do is to help you not get hurt. Now, it is subjective as to whether or not they are actually helpful. Still, their only intention is to keep you from suffering, even if that means causing a different form of suffering in the meantime.

There are 4 main subpersonalities in this container; the rescuer (the enabler), the inner flatter (which keeps you emotionally detached from others), the tyrant (craves having power over others), and the inner critic (it’s exactly what it sounds like, they want to keep you small). These parts of us want to support us small and safe as they avoid risks and attachments.

The rescuer does so by showing their value by putting others first. They are codependent by nature and will conform to fit in so that they go unnoticed. However, from the outside, they seem to always contribute; some rescuers are manipulative. For example, one may feel completely helpless and unworthy without someone else to take care of. Usually, these folks get taken advantage of. Whereas another type of rescuer will first want to dive in and help, and once they have, they may begin to see an opening where they can manipulate you to get something in return. These parts are not “defined” in one manner; they can alter and change based on the person and their trauma.

The inner flatterer strives to boost your ego so that you need no one else. They keep you from having intimate relationships and vulnerable conversations due to a fear of rejection. So rather than allowing you to be authentic, they push you to hide behind emotional walls, a prison of sorts that doesn’t allow you to get close to anything that would render you vulnerable, thus making it difficult for you to meet your truest potential.

The tyrant wasn’t given the love they needed as a child. Therefore they create a sense of internal authority that puts them first above anyone else; exploiting others and controlling every situation makes them feel safe and powerful in their role.

The inner critic is judgmental of the self and others. It finds ways to “protect” you from taking up space, from being noticed. It wants to control everything in its surroundings so that it is “safe”. Think of someone who has been through WWI and lost everything. Perhaps the inner critic would judge themselves for living in luxury, as though it would all be taken away, and there for anyone else who lives in luxury would be wrong and looked down upon; this is the role of the inner critic in this example. Now, you could have a variety of these. You may have an inner critic who needs to keep things clean and organized to stay in control, or you may have one who judges you for how you spend your money. These parts will vary based on your internal programming and the narratives you were taught as a child.

All of these sub-personalities at their core are controlling; some more than others. Their survival instincts come from protecting you from further harm. As a child, you may have been abandoned or neglected; these parts are your loyal soldiers, ensuring you are safe from further damage. According to Jung, these parts provide structure, control, and service as they go to war, defending you from any other harm. These parts believe they are secure; they believe in the ego-centric way that they are the most honorable adult, taking care of the different parts of you. Unfortunately, no secure adult acts this way. Trustworthy moral adults act from a place of compassion and wisdom. These parts act as immature versions of a genuine secure adult, and trust me, they will try to trick you and make you think that they are just and righteous in their actions; that’s how you know; they are a protection sub-personality, rather than part of the secure, whole self.

The Escapists and Addicts

Jung called these parts the path to a spiritual journey, because of how much you must overcome to live a life of authenticity. These are the parts that come out when the immature tactics of the wounded children don’t work, and the protection from the loyal soldiers feels more critical than helpful. Those who have a strong will to dissociate have a skilled escapist. They leave their body and have holes in their memory from days, sometimes even years, at a time. Whereas someone with an addict, simply want to numb out all pain and are willing to sacrifice anything in order to meet their need for bliss and serenity, even if the cost is their family, job, home, or integrity. The amount of pain they feel is so excruciating that they feel that numbing the pain is all that they can do to get by.

The Shadow

These are the parts of self that are unknown to us, hence why they are called the shadow. They live in the darkness of our subconscious, hidden away in shame. A great way to depict a shadow is to look at what areas of life you feel ashamed of. These are things you are not consciously aware of. For example, let’s say someone always judges those who make a lot of money, and they have beliefs of this or that for why that is. Yet they “think” they are great with money and live from paycheck to paycheck—this is a shadow. They cannot see that their judgment of someone else’s wealth is holding them back from creating their own abundance, because by having this belief, they inherently don’t believe they should be rich. However, they do not see this at all. Make sense? Bill Plotkin speaks of these as the heroes, those who think they are undoubtedly saving the world, yet under their success is great judgment and toxic ego; the gurus, the teachers who believe their teachings are the only ones that can save you, and the devil/monster, the parts that must be bad so they have to be hidden away for no one else to see.

Hypnotherapy & Integration

None of these parts are inherently bad, and the key is not to punish them or scold them for causing a ruckus. The real healing lies in integration; accepting these parts for who they are, and honoring the hard work that they have done. This is where hypnotherapy comes in.

The process of hypnosis allows you to get to the root cause of a core belief. Whether it is “I am not enough”, “I am unsafe”, or “I am broken.” It can also help you uncover your shadow and the limiting beliefs that live behind statements like “rich people are evil”, “everyone is a bad driver but me” and “all people who eat meat are bad.” We are so indoctrinated by society to have limiting beliefs about our worth, finances, abundance, weight, nutrition, religion, spirituality, the government… the list goes on and on.

Remember that thread I spoke about in the beginning? About starting at a single point and unraveling the truth? That is what hypnosis does. It is a deep uncovering of limiting beliefs and programs that do not align with your authenticity and wholeness. It helps you get to the core of who you are, what you love and value, your truest expression and creative vibrance. Imagine being happier, healthier, and thriving in your everyday life. Imagine manifesting everything you could ever want, discovering your worth and breaking generational trauma, this is what hypnotherapy does. It unravels the false narratives in your mind, it negotiates with your sub-personalities (parts). It helps you step into your security and worth, so that all the other wounded parts can heal, release their obligations, and let your authentic self run the show. This is integration, and it starts with a simple thread. So where will yours lead you on your journey to healing?

Emily Rose Wheeler
Aug, 18, 2022

Boosting your Balance

Life’s a balancing act; we try to be in balance but then we get thrown off balance. At the macro level, society is addressing balance in power and communities are balancing their priorities against their checklists, and at the micro level, families are balancing their checkbooks and their busy schedules. It’s all a balancing act and the scales are forever tipping this way and that way.

Lately, I’ve been primarily concerned with two areas of balance in my life.

The first is maybe one you wouldn’t expect but can most likely relate to. It’s the balance in art and design. You see, at the age of 42, I’m building my forever home, and I guess I realized that even though I’m into aesthetics and home decor, I don’t have a very strong visual-spatial sense. Good thing my sister-in-law is a professional photographer and an interior designer; she’s a huge support during this process. In building and furnishing, I’m looking to balance the energy in my home by means of space, light, objects, colors, texture, and the like. One change in the balance of the layout was to include two big windows on each side of the fireplace; a change in color was to add opaque colored paneling to the appliances so they more naturally integrate into the open concept. These examples seem simple and actually not very important compared to the well-balanced family life we’ll be living in the home. However, that is a balance we have—we have worked to make that a reality in our daily lives, and so now, we focus on our new physical home.

Then there’s our other physical home—our body as our physical vessel. In recent weeks I have been made very aware of my grandma and my mom’s imbalances—mostly losing balance while walking. It’s nerve wracking to worry about them falling, and it’s terrifying to see them fall. It’s made me more aware of the importance of balance and range of motion. So, I started up my yoga practice again. I was super into it when I went through my 200-hour yoga teacher training experience a few years back but then became uninterested. Well, I’m back for the benefits. Most recently, I’ve been attending 90-minute hot yoga classes. Balance practices are the most challenging when it comes to yoga postures as it’s likely to shake and teeter and fall out of poses. So, I’m learning about balance from the inside out. Some everyday tips you can even use out of the yoga studio are as follows: focus on your breathing, lock your gaze, check your alignment, and feel grounded in the earth. The balance I’m developing and strengthening is physical, but it’s also emotional and spiritual, and that is a beautiful benefit.

Next up in the realm of what I’d like to balance in my world…

I plan to tackle balancing my plate. The recent and temporary move into our apartment while our house is being built has me cooking in an unfamiliar kitchen yielding meals that are a bit uninspired and most definitely imbalanced—I haven’t even been going to the grocery store with a shopping list. I’m looking forward to bringing back some freshness and color and balance to my breakfast, lunch and dinner plate. Think: colorful fruits and veggies, leaner proteins, whole grains, and the right nutrients. Think: less standing up and eating mindlessly out of a Pringles can and more sitting down and being present while nourishing myself with something that has ingredients I can pronounce.

A final word…

I’ll leave you with the quintessential image of balance—the yin and yang. That white and black representation shows a balance between two opposites with a portion of the opposite element embedded in the other. There’s a duality there, which is the reminder we need to promote balance among the opposing elements that exist in our lives because life, in fact, is not so black and white.

Lisa Desberg
Aug, 09, 2022

Tend and Befriend: The Feminine Response to Stress

There are new studies coming out that show that our trusty friend “fight or flight” is actually only proven to be true in the male physiology.

Yep.

Now, you can stretch fight or flight to fit the feminine—you can make it work—but the more accurate female physiological response to stress is something called “tend and befriend.”

It takes one flashback to middle or high school to see this played out. The mean girls are mean to you and what do you do? You don’t fight them. And you probably didn’t run scared either. What you probably did was anything you could to get back on their good side. You tended to the crappy frienemmy relationships…you were extra kind and friendly.

If that’s not quite clicking for you yet, let’s look at a more extreme example. Victims of domestic violence aren’t usually rushing to the door and leasing a new apartment at the first sign of trouble. And we usually ask why. Why don’t they just leave? Or why don’t they say something or fight back or get help? Well, because they aren’t physiologically designed to respond with fight or flight.

Instead, these women will stay and put up with the abuse because their bodies are hardwired to stay as safe as possible. They will go to great lengths to smooth things over, to make the abuser happy or calm, to appease. Because their bodies are working to make sure everyone is safe and protected. They truly believe that they and maybe their children are safer if they can just stay on the abuser’s good side.

This makes so much energetic sense. If you look at the feminine energy characteristics like:

Passive
Feeling
Relationship oriented
Allowing
Creating
Cooling
Cooperation
Intuition
Receiving
Nurturing

You see that this Tend and Befriend way of handling stress and danger is much more acutely aligned.

Now, we must step out of the abusive example to see the beauty in this design. This sort of energy and way of being is what keeps a village together. This sort of response is what keeps relationships from crumbling because of miscommunication, strong feelings, and mistakes. And this is exactly the sort of response we need to start leaning in to in order to heal women’s relationships with other women.

The culture has taught us that we just don’t get along well with other women. That women are too judgemental, too sensitive, read too much into every detail. We are taught that hanging out with the guys is what makes us “not like other girls” and also that being able to be in a room full of men and hold your own is what will make us successful.

We were also taught that the right way to respond to stress and danger is fight or flight, so we’ve been taught some particularly masculine things that aren’t aligning.

So we need to start leaning into the impulse to tend and befriend. We need to allow women into our circles again, without the expectation that she’s not to be trusted. We were designed this way for a reason. And aligned with that nature might be the answer to so much healing, renewing, and rebuilding for that world.

Jada Dobesh
Aug, 02, 2022

Second Chances

Let’s all channel ABBA’s song made famous by the romantic comedy Mamma Mia, alright?

“Baby, I’m still free…take a chance on me. Gonna do my very best, and it ain’t no lie.”

Okay, let’s get real. We have given second chances—to friends, to lovers, to the undeserving, to family members. And, we have needed second chances, in countless situations and in numerous ways.

Let’s shift our perspective for a moment. What are the benefits of second chances? Oh, the benefits abound and especially when you are working on yourself. It’s an opportunity to try again and again and as many times as you want…after not succeeding. Your potential is limitless.

How and why are second chances important on our self-care and self-love journey? Well, it allows us to achieve our potential. Right? The word fail is just an acronym for First Attempt In Learning. Another opportunity always provides us with an option and sometimes the support to succeed.

So, here we are and it’s the second half of the year. Now is our second chance. Oh, how glorious to have the opportunity to reflect on the first half of the year and get intentional about the second half of the year.

Listen, it’s important to carve out time to reflect. Why? It’s information that catapults us forward. Look back at the good, the bad, the ugly. The small wins, the big wins, and the milestones especially. This year I celebrated my grandma’s 90th birthday, a wise guy’s 80th birthday, and my bonus daughter’s college graduation. More than that, my manifestation powers led me in a whole new direction. I’m 42; I’m building a new house and I have a new job.

Grab a pen and paper. Offer yourself the second chance to get energized and begin anew.

Are you thinking about the rest of July? How about August, September, October, November, December? Think about that time by using your noggin and by taking a look at your calendar. And consider—is time a construct, is it a concept, is it an illusion? Go and talk about that at the dinner table. It’s bound to be quite the conversation.

Back to the inner work.

Approach the rest of the calendar year from the lens of self-care and self-love? Let’s focus on you because the way you care for and love yourself dictates the way you show up for yourself, family, friends, community and the world in which we live, and let us be rea…we’ve had heavy moments (in our lives and in the world)—beyond what we thought would even happen in our lifetime.

Believe you are the creator of your life; make conscious choices. Maybe consider yourself the co-creator so that you put your trust in the universe and work to co-create a life you love and a life to live. There is certainly more than we have control over (ugh), yet let me guide you in the way you can make loving choices and take loving actions.

First, put on “Forever Young” (any version you want, either Rod Stewart or Jay-Z or Alphaville). My guy and I (both over 40) like the first, the teen likes Jay-Z, and the 20-something-year old likes the version featured in Napoleon Dynamite.

Now, see your life in front of you as if it were a movie playing out in front of you over the course of the remainder of the year. You are an observer. Observe. What’s going on? You are growing and expanding, and you are the future you—6 months from now. How are you showing up? What are you doing and thinking? In what ways are you excited about what’s going to happen? Allow yourself to embody this future you, this favorite you energy.

Next, think about being in the energy of late December 2022. What happened these past six months? How did they play out? Consider connections you’ve made, challenges you’ve encountered, changes you have precipitated, people and things you have released, times you have surprised yourself. Consider it all.

Why consider it all? Life is mysterious and miraculous and conspiring for the greater good in your life. Good, good, or even better. Believe it. Be open to it. It is yours.

Lisa Desberg
Jul, 14, 2022

Protecting & Clearing Your Energy

I was a sensitive girl growing up. Easily affected by the energy of others, my energy often shifted quickly. As I eased (or was catapulted?!) into adulthood, I couldn’t quite grasp why my energy would shift in what felt like an instant. With my energy changing in ways I didn’t understand, my emotions seemed to be up and down as well.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I began to understand energy was more than just how much sleep I got a night or the food I fueled my body with. My energy was impacted depending on how I took care of myself, of course, but the people I surrounded myself with also played a huge role. The way I spent my time was drastically affecting how I felt. It became clear I needed to set boundaries and learn how to protect my energy.

With this realization I began to honor my energy. By honoring my energy, my body, and mind started to feel a bit more at ease. I developed practices and rituals that allowed me to protect and clear my energy. Protecting my energy allowed me to stay connected to myself. Clearing my energy opens the space to come back home to myself when I feel out of alignment or need to reconnect.

Try These Practices When You Need an Energy Reset

1. connect

Sit on the floor or ground, connecting your sit bones to the surface beneath you. Feel your root chakra connect to the earth below you. Connect back to your center.

2. ground

Stand or sit on the floor or ground outside, barefoot. Feel your foot burrow into the surface beneath you, connecting to the earth and absorbing its energy. Allow your body to give the energy you no longer desire back to the earth.

3. cleanse

Cleanse your body with a shower or a bath. Watch the water wash away all that is no longer yours. See all the excess energy escape as it goes down the drain.

4. Crystals

Protect and clear the space with crystals. Protect with crystals such as black tourmaline, obsidian, amethyst, hematite. Clear your space and energy with selenite, fluorite, clear quartz, smoky quartz.

5. Visualize

Visualize a protection bubble. Imagine a white light of energy surrounding your aura that protects your energy. Anything you do not desire bounces right off and doesn’t enter your energetic field.

6. Clear

Clear your space and your body with smoke cleansing. Clear with ethically sourced palo santo, incense, candles, lavender, sage, cedarwood, juniper. Find the type of smoke cleansing that you are drawn to. Cleanse with an open window or door to let the energy leave the space!

7. move

Get out of your mind and into your body. Practice intuitive movement and clear the stagnant energy by going for a walk, shaking it off, moving the energy up and through you.

8. Feel

Feel the emotions coming up. Emotions are energy in motion. Allow yourself to feel whatever is present. Write it out to get it out of your mind and onto the paper and let it go.

9. Space

Move to a new space and change the scenery. Change the room you are in, get out of the house, go outside and get some fresh air.

These are just some of the simple and quick practices you can tap into to protect and clear your energy. Utilize these when you are holding space for others, when you get back from a big gathering, after you’ve had a long week, or just need some space just for you.

Honoring one’s energy looks different for everyone. Finding what works best for you can take time, so see what feels best as you try these different practices and rituals and lean in.

Alexa Sharwell
Jul, 07, 2022

5 Ways to Connect and Get to Know Your Period

In the past year, I have been on a fairly intense journey to reform my relationship with my menstrual cycle. Here are my 5 favorite ways to connect and get to know your period—and why I think they are worth a shot.

5. Ditching Your Tampons

I don’t care if they are organic. I don’t care if they have an incredible applicator or no applicator at all. Tampons are not gentle on your body. Especially those with chemicals. Have you ever read the Toxic Shock warning on tampon boxes? It’s way more common than you think. Many of the materials and products used to make tampons more absorbent are actually contributing to your discomfort. Tampons can cause an increase in discomfort, in cramping, and in bleeding. If you’ve ever had to remove a tampon that wasn’t completely wet, you know your body has feelings about it.

It can be intimidating to make the switch. But you may have been intimidated by tampons at one point as well and you made it through that. You can make it through this, too!

Whether you switch to a cup or a disc, it’s very likely you’ll experience almost immediate benefits, relief, and a renewed sense of dignity. Sure, there can be a learning curve in how to use them properly and that will likely feel stressful at first. But making this switch changed my entire view of my period. Just one cycle with a disc instead of tampons helped me to feel more comfortable, in more control, and far more aware of what was happening in my body. Plus, it’s great for the environment and that always feels good.

4. Tracking Your Cycle

It’s one thing to know you had your last period X days ago. It’s another thing entirely to pay attention to the whole cycle. For me, it helped me not to dread my menstrual phase (my period) because it wasn’t the only time of the month that mattered anymore. And the process of labeling each of my days with a follicular, ovulation, luteal, or menstrual designation has offered me a wealth of wisdom that I didn’t know my body even had. When you track your cycle fully, you can see exactly why you feel the way you do, crave this food or that, shine in this area of life or struggle with this element of your day. It all simply starts to make sense. It’s amazing to me how validated my clients, as well as myself, feel when they see on the calendar what their hormones are working on. We were taught that our hormones are a rollercoaster and they are chaotic and unpredictable. And when you look at a woman’s mood from one day to the next, I can see how we jumped to that conclusion. But the whole picture is a 28 day circle. And when you look at that circle, you see a beautiful pattern that makes room for you to thrive at so many different things, each in their own time.

I have a fun little guide you can download for free here if that would be helpful for you! Cycle Tracking Made Easy

3. Cyclical Rhythms

In February I created a line of oils that correspond to each phase of your cycle and I excitedly asked a few of my friends to try them with me and report back. These four blends are made in the hopes that it will reduce uncomfortable and annoying symptoms and will help you better align with each phase of your cycle. Over and over what I have heard as the greatest benefit of these oils, is not just that they help to manage symptoms, but that they’ve created a daily rhythm that feels powerful and wise and intuitive. It helps you to come into your body, notice where you are at, how you feel, what you need. Incorporating a rhythm that allows you to connect into your body can be a life changing shift for women. Especially those who spend most of their day in their mind. It doesn’t have to be these oils. Any rhythm will do.

2. Eat for Your Cycle

You are what you eat. And it’s due in large part to your hormonal response to what you eat. Everything you put into your body plays a role in your gut health, which plays a role in your hormone health, which plays a role in your reproductive health. And because our feminine bodies go through hormone shifts differently throughout the month, it stands to reason that eating the same thing every day isn’t going to serve us as well as eating based on what your body needs in that given cycle. I got the Moon Cycle Cookbook earlier this year and It’s now a staple for recipes and meal planning in our home. My whole family enjoys these meals so I don’t have to feel alone in caring for my body and this feels really important to me.

I highly recommend this book, but you can also just be mindful of a few key points. For instance, during your Luteal phase, your increase in progesterone slows the body’s systems down, including your bowels. So it’s a really important time to eat high fiber foods. Cinnamon helps to rid the body of estrogen, and when you do that before your period starts, you’ll experience a lighter flow. Or that during your Ovulation phase, you think the least about food because you don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen. So it’s important to set yourself up to eat things that don’t take long to prepare and meal prep so you don’t “forget to eat.”

1. Prioritize the Cortisol Flush

Cortisol, the “bad” stress hormone, is an enormous factor in how your period goes down each month. The more stress that’s stored in the body, the more your menstrual phase has to work to clear everything out. One of the cyclical phenomena about women is that we store up our anger, and our stress, in the body until the first day of our menstrual phase. That moodiness is passed off at the catch-all PMS. In reality, you have been holding that anger, negative energy, and cortisol in your body and your menstrual bleed is your body trying to eliminate it.

And we can keep trucking along like this for the rest of our lives if we want to. Or, we can help our bodies to flush the cortisol, the negative energy, and anger from our bodies daily so that when we get to day 1 of our cycle, we don’t have to catch up on 28 days worth of work.

There are a few fun ways to flush the cortisol from your system. Shaking for a few minutes a day is a really easy one. You could mask this as a 1 song dance party if that makes you more comfortable. But really it’s as simple as shaking your body, your limbs, your fingers, your head for a few minutes. This breaks up that energy and that cortisol so it can easily leave your body. Sweating is another way to flush the cortisol out of your body. Exercise or a good 20–40 minutes in the sauna can greatly improve your body’s ability to remove cortisol before it builds up. And Orgasms are another beautiful, pleasurable way to remove cortisol, anger, and negative energy from the body.

There are so many small ways to turn your period from something you dread into a way you respect and honor your body each month. I really hope a few of these resonate with you.

Jada Dobesh
Jul, 07, 2022

Feminine Anger

Anger. There is no shortage of it. And I think we can all feel that. But the lack of acceptance of it has me feeling a certain sort of way.

It’s been said by many that the patriarchal society we live in fears a woman’s anger. To that end we have to suppress it some way. We have to shut it down. Men, of course do this, but the patriarchy runs deeply, generationally, and so women do their fair share of suppressing anger as well.

We push down our own anger because we are taught “There’s no use being angry.” And we came to that conclusion after being told to:

Calm down.
Let it go.
Don’t let them get to you.
Rise above it.
Relax.
And don’t we love to blame any strong feeling on hormones.
Are you on your period?
I’m just hormonal.
Pregnancy Hormones
PMSing

They are all to blame for our “irrational feelings.”

If you hear that enough, get dismissed enough, get blamed enough, it’s no wonder we don’t let ourselves feel the fullness of an emotion like anger.

Many of the women in my office hold back tears, minimize and hold back their emotional responses, apologize for laughing too loud or letting tears out. They cage themselves into a smaller, gentler version of themselves in microscopic ways. They have no idea they’re doing it.

And so I ask them if they have a hard time letting themselves orgasm.

Of course they do.

The reason for this is fear. What if the orgasm is too big? What if it’s too powerful? I have no idea what will happen if I really allow that to come in its fullness.

Along with orgasms, anger, sadness, rage, and even joy are all held captive in metaphorical jeans that are a few sizes too small. What if the anger consumes me? But darling, it already is. From the inside out, our anger eats at us. It takes things from us. But we hold it anyway. Anything to make others more comfortable around us.

There is a belief that women hold all of our anger, storing it up in the womb space for 28 days. And then we release it all at once with our menstrual bleed. That’s why your flow is heaviest on the first day, and that’s why your PMS symptoms might be so powerful. You’re finally releasing the stored emotion.

So what if you didn’t do that? What if you allowed yourself to release anger, judgment and shame-free as it came?

What if you allowed yourself that courtesy for every emotion, feeling, and orgasm?

Because the truth is, your emotions have purpose. Your experiences within your body are necessary and helpful communication. Feelings are the conduit for relationships—they are how we connect to ourselves, our higher power, and our people. And they won’t break you in half. You won’t burst from feeling too strongly. You are safe to feel fully.

And this is rather critical. This is why we need to allow for emotional release and expression every day, not just when we can’t take it anymore. This freedom would give way to healing, and power, and deeper connection and deeper love. Your body would be able to fill with love and light, rather than stored trauma, repressed anger, and anxiety.

That’s what you need. And just imagine what it could do for that world.

Jada Dobesh
Jul, 05, 2022

Journaling to Come Back to Yourself

Writing is a medicine. It is the antidote to injury. It is an appropriate companion for any difficult change.

—Julia Cameron

I remember as a child wanting a diary with its very own lock and key. I was so excited for my very first one. I always started each entry with” Dear Diary…” because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I always thought that I needed to write specific things or it had to be a certain way. My journaling never took off because I was always trying to be perfect or follow the rules and so this went on for years.

As the years went by, I kept going back to my journaling practice. When I embraced my love for journaling and let go of any expectations of how I thought journaling “should” be, my words flew onto the paper. I found it to be a peaceful practice, and after I wrote, I felt lighter—as if the thoughts weighing on my mind weren’t so heavy anymore.

Morning Pages

I’ve tried so many different ways of writing. Trying one way after another until I found what worked for me. It turns out, Morning Pages was the best practice for me.

Morning Pages is a practice Julia Cameron speaks about in her book The Artist’s Way. Essentially, you write three pages of stream consciousness writing first thing in the morning.

I’ve been able to discover patterns and thoughts I didn’t realize I had due to this.

Most recently, I realized that I needed to get back to my Morning Pages practice. I started to notice my anxiety rising, my thoughts clouded, and I was just stressed over all. For me the practice of journaling has always helped me sort out my thoughts and work through my feelings. At times I would notice a pattern or get an answer to a question I had a few days ago through my writing. There are days that my entries will only have to-do lists and others will consist of thoughts and feelings I have been holding back.

Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.

—Jennifer Williamson

Journaling in many ways is a meditative practice. It can look different for everyone and can be customized to your preferences and lifestyle. Even if you’re finding it not to be easy, I encourage you to keep going—try different methods of approaching your writing. I tried prompt filled journaling and the classic form; just free writing. My favorite approach has remained Morning Pages.

On Record

One of my favorite things about keeping journals is you can always look back at past entries and books.. You get to see how much you’ve grown over the years. And in my case, because I’ve kept up with the practice, I get to see how I went from being a naive teenager to an adult. I’ve been able to document gratitude periods of growth, and essentially coming back to myself. Journaling helps me get out of my head, and although it was hard to start the habit, I am glad I’m fitting it back in my life.

People who keep journals live twice.

—Jessamyn West

In the grand scheme of things journaling is great for the soul. It can bring to light so much good and so much healing. The great thing about journaling is that it can be done anywhere and any way. From art journaling to using a prompt journal, or any of the other ways listed above. It’s good for the soul. The best part: you have all the stories of your life to remember and pass on.

Documenting the little details of your everyday life becomes a celebration of who you are.

—Carolyn V Hamilton

Natalia Campos
Jun, 23, 2022

3 Things to Consider for a Healthy Renovation

Our homes have the ability to nurture our health or harm it. A healthy environment is just as important as drinking clean water, eating healthy, clean food, moving our bodies, getting sunshine, laughing, and taking care of our mental and emotional health. Here’s 5 main things to consider on an upcoming renovation to make sure your home is supporting your wellbeing.

Non-toxic Materials

Many building materials contain chemicals that can wreak havoc on our systems. You may have heard of the term VOCs (Volatile Organic Compounds) which are the chemical compounds that “off gas” at room temperature. When this offgassing takes place, it contributes to poor indoor air quality and we are now inhaling all of the toxins that are releasing from products like paint, flooring, drywall, cabinetry, adhesives, doors, windows, hardware, plumbing fixtures and furniture. Selecting materials that are as close to nature as possible is a great way to start when selecting materials. Look for materials that are Red List Free, Greenguard Gold Certified, and CARB II compliant.

Appliances

Believe it or not, our appliance selections can make a huge impact on the health of our home. One of the biggest things to look out for are Smart Appliances. Although a smart appliance may seem more attractive up front, they’re actually emitting a constant radiofrequency signal. Research shows that long term exposure to these frequencies can impact our health negatively. Gas appliances can impact indoor air quality and release many different chemicals into our homes. If you’re opting for a gas range, it’s extremely important to consider how wide and low the rangehood is to allow for proper ventilation. Alternatively, many people are opting for induction ranges these days, however the magnets in these create extremely high Electromagnetic Fields when in operation. These fields could be 15 milligauss or more when all of the burners are in use.

Moisture Management

This may be arguably the most important consideration in a healthy renovation. Managing moisture is how we are going to prevent mold. Mold toxicity has created a health epidemic with the surge of energy efficient buildings. Don’t get me wrong, we want our buildings to be energy efficient, but what has happened is that now all of the toxins that are in our home, including mycotoxins from mold, have no way of flushing out the home. A good place to start managing moisture is by monitoring the relative humidity within the home and keeping the levels below 45%. If the levels are higher than that, it would be wise to invest in a dehumidifier to help you control the levels. Additionally, we want to keep an eye on all of the wet locations in the home for leaks. Slow leaks happen all of the time and it doesn’t take long (24-48 hours) before the water damages a surface and mold begins to grow. Investing in a good leak protection device is a great way to stop the water in the event of a leak.

We understand that renovating and building a home is complicated and there’s a lot of moving pieces, especially when you want to do it the healthy way. That’s why we specialize in helping people make healthy decisions early on. Awakening Spaces works directly with your team of designers and builders to help guide your project in a healthy way. We believe that what goes in your walls is just as important as what goes on your walls.

Ashley Spanovich
Jun, 22, 2022

How to Start Saying Thank You to Yourself

I’m always running to the dollar store to stock up on thank you notes! I just love to write notes of gratitude and either hand deliver or mail them to people—friends in Pennsylvania, family in New York. And much like you, I find myself thanking other people but take little time to thank myself.

Gratitude is a self love practice in that it nourishes you in the moment while attracting more to be grateful for. It has positive effects on our mind, body and soul.

We’re roughly half way through the calendar year, so it’s a good time to pause, reflect and thank yourself. So, grab your journal and write a letter of thanks to your “past self,” “present self” and/or “remainder of the year” self.

Dear _____ ,

Thank you for . . .

I love when you . . .

You honored yourself when . . .

appreciate that . . .

You really know how to . . .

Give yourself some credit for . . .

Love, _____

Your past, present and future deserve your thanks; you deserve your thanks. In looking to the rest of 2022, you can start to intentionally manifest your life and all the wonderfully expansive moments there will be to experience, all the quality moments to live out.

So, open up the voice messaging app on your phone, and speak a moment of gratitude from the you who just experienced one of these moments—how it was such a perfect moment. You’re feeling into it and speaking it as if it just happened. It’s real and raw, and you are filled with appreciation. That is full-on embodiment, and you put that vibe out into the universe. Plus, you now have the recording on hand to listen to as often as you want.

So, here we are at the halfway mark of 2022, and I invite you to start practicing self gratitude along with your other transformational acts of self care and self love. Say it with me loud and proud… thank you for being you, and thank me for being me.

Lisa Desberg
Jun, 14, 2022

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