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Five Ground Rules for Civil and Effective Co-Parenting

The Stepmother Stigma

I rarely refer to myself as the stepmother, nor to RB (my son by association) as my stepson, although both terms are accurate. And I think it has to do with the generally negative stereotype associated with this figure. For example, what’s the first image that comes to your mind when you think of the word “stepmother”? If you also pictured Lady Tremaine, the vicious stepmother character from Disney’s Cinderella—yay! And thank you for proving my point.

The other pop culture reference that comes up for me is Isabel Kelly, Julia Roberts’s character in the 1998 film, Stepmom. I’m closer to Isabel than to Lady Tremaine. Not only because I’m not a villain (I promise), but also because I haven’t birthed a child. And for a long time, I didn’t consider becoming a mother, either. Until I started co-parenting.

Co-Parenting

According to this National Library of Medicine article co-parenting refers to the ways that parents, parental figures, or both, relate to each other in their role as primary caretakers. It’s a relationship based on the shared or overlapping responsibilities of raising a child, and it’s independent from a past marriage, or other romantic relationship. The article highlights that the co-parenting relationship consists of support and coordination. And I agree. But for it to become a healthy, long-term partnership, it should also consist of respect, empathy, compassion and trust. Over the years, and through a lot of trial and error (until trial and success), we’ve managed to develop these into our partnership.

How it Started

It’s always easy and tempting to criticize another person; be it the other parent, or the ex-spouse’s new partner. What’s hard is to be accepting. And, I’m grateful for RB’s mother’s acceptance. For allowing her son to spend time with me, and stay with us. Because it indirectly allowed my husband to fully show up as the amazing dad that he is.

I would describe our first co-parenting years as awkward. I’d say they were the adaptation period, with limited communication, mainly between the boy’s parents. A time I spent waving from the sidelines (or, the car window when we picked him up or dropped him off), supporting my partner as best I could and creating my own connection with the kid.

How it Changed

My husband was on a business trip and my nephew’s birthday was coming up. RB was invited to the party and with his father out of town, all logistics coordination happened between the boy’s mom and me. Talk about relationship milestones. From that moment forward, our WhatsApp messaging started. At first, our convos were all kid-related. Then, they naturally evolved into the type of content you’d see in a women’s lifestyle magazine.

I consider we experienced our roughest patch as a family, when adjusting to elementary school. Understanding and establishing the roles and responsibilities in each household, the expectations management, and so on. Without disclosing all the skeletons in our closet (which would offer you some quality entertainment) the main learning from those years is that parenting styles will inevitably differ. And each parental figure needs to accept this, trusting that the other will act with common sense and in the child’s best interest.

My unsolicited advice: as long as your kid is being loved, fed, and safe—do yourself a favor and chill.

How it's Going

Not to fall into the silver lining cliche brought forth by a global pandemic, but for the first time in almost six years we’re seeing our kid grow up in real time. He’s spending the same amount of time with us as he spends with his mom.

Raising a child can be a heart-breaking, frustrating, and overwhelming experience—sometimes. And other times, it can be immensely rewarding. To the point of canceling all of the above.

I’ve seen my kid grow from preschool to pre-teen. And witnessing him develop a personality and a sense of humor (geeky and quick-witted like his father) is the greatest gift I never knew I wanted.

Collaboration vs. Competition

Last Mother’s Day RB’s mom dropped him off at my in-laws, where we were spending the evening. We invited her in, chatted for a bit and before she left, we took a picture with RB. A few hours later she shared an Instagram story with our picture, and a caption that read: “RB and his two moms.” Yes, smiley tear emoji. Clearly my heart was warmed and bursting with gratitude. And joy.

I’m hyper aware that my son has one mother, and that I’m not her. But when she acknowledges my role in his life and gifts me this honorary title (which I adore, by the way), we’re breaking a stereotype. We’re proving that in the context of parenting, the mother and the stepmother can get along. Can champion each other. Can support each other.

The Ground Rules

Know that we’re human and imperfect. There are intrinsic factors to every backstory that will drive the tone of the co-parenting relationship, regardless of any ‘ground rules’ you might read here. I encourage you to take my family’s experience as what it is: only one example of how co-parenting can look like. We’re definitely not the rule, nor the exception.

It helps that all of us in this co-parenting relationship are good people, looking out for the collective well-being of our blended families. And after doing this for the past seven years, making tons of mistakes, and course-correcting, we’ve learned a thing or two worth sharing.

So, I discussed it with my fellow co-parents, and here are five essentials that keep us honest and on track:

ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Having clear limits is the type of common sense that can help avoid misunderstandings and unintentional overstepping.
MAINTAINING AN OPEN COMMUNICATION. Trust and transparency are fundamental. In the words of RB’s mom: “This is probably the best one, because even though we disagree sometimes, we respect each other’s opinions and will find that middle ground.”
HAVING THE IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS. Since we hold a similar set of values we’re typically aligned, and act in our kid’s best interest. When it comes to discussing priority topics with him (e.g. mental health, sex ed., inclusivity) we’d usually drop a message or a voice note in our group chat to share updates, questions, concerns, and so on. Overall, we avoid sweeping sensitive topics, or hard conversations under the metaphoric rug.
LEARNING TO ADAPT. Plans change and life happens. Protect your peace of mind by leaning into flexibility and cooperation. Remember: it really does take a village to raise a child.
CARING FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP. You have to be well to parent at your best. And your ‘best’ can look different everyday. From my point of view, there are three relationships to nurture. The one each parent has with their child, the one each parent has with their partner (who isn’t a biological parent), and the one you have with yourself.

Friendly Reminder

No one has it all figured out. There’s no magic parenting book nor perfect parents. We’re all doing the best we can with the tools we have. And on this point, Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy said it best:

“We like to think we’re so smart and we have all the answers. And we want to pass all that on to our children. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you don’t have to dig very deep to find the kid you were. Which is why it’s kinda crazy that now we’re raising kids of our own. I guess that’s the real circle of life. Your parents faked their way through it, you fake your way through it and hopefully you don’t raise a serial killer.”

Hopefully.

Jit Garcia
Feb, 08, 2022

Embodying Beauty Through a Self-Love Practice with your Hair

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a bald man, now that’s a diamond in the rough.

Larry David

Many of us, including myself, have been here. Wondering if you’re doing your hair right…or feeling self-conscious about not knowing how to put on eyeliner. Asking yourself, how do I do this? Where do I start ? Who can I ask to teach me? Overcoming obstacles, experimenting with hair, makeup, and fashion all are a significant addition to learning who I was.

In order to be happy, I had to be happy with myself…everything after that comes easily. Knowing what you like, how to take care of yourself, using resources like books, mentors, friends & family—you can learn to take care of yourself. It helps tremendously when you are able to work with what you’re born with instead of fighting against it. Part of that comes from self-love and self-acceptance. The other part comes from life experience and going through those experiences to remove that mask you’ve learned to hide behind. Navigating these everyday questions allowed me to learn who I was over time. The ability to say, ‘This is who I am, and I’m okay with that part of me. As a matter of fact, I love that part of me. I love all of me.”

For a long time I would say “I’m putting my mask on” and it truly felt like I was. I clearly remember getting ready for a night out with my friends and it was like I was taking on a whole new persona, as if I was bringing out an alter ego because I felt I wasn’t enough as myself. I didn’t feel pretty enough. I wasn’t outgoing enough. Or whatever insecurity it was in that moment of time. Oftentimes I would use drinking to bring out what I thought others would accept. Getting to know yourself, embodying yourself, it takes learning. Asking questions, accepting your beauty without comparison. Which, admittedly, is a learning curve, but it can be done.

The Disconnect Between Beauty and Self-Love

As a hairdresser I always wondered why I felt like there was a disconnect with the beauty industry. I couldn’t figure it out. But I always knew there was more beyond just hair and makeup—more beyond the surface. There had to be right? Beauty is not only on the outside, it also comes from the inside. In the beginning of my career as a hairdresser I wanted women to look beautiful and at the same time I wanted to help all of my guests gain the confidence that they lacked. The strength that they didn’t see was there. More than getting your hair done on a Friday night before going out drinking and dancing or chopping your hair off after a bad break up.

Feeling great on the inside allows you to shine even brighter.

I couldn’t grasp the concept of what was missing. It wasn’t until a few years ago, actually, that I realized what the answer was. The answer came from me, from within. Self-love. Self-care. Self-talk. How many times have you gotten ready for the day, for the night, and hope that you would be seen. But what if you were getting ready for you? Wouldn’t it be great to step out into the world knowing who you are? Knowing what you love, without a doubt. Knowing who you are down to your deepest core, and accepting yourself just as you are. That part is a discovery. It takes an open mind and heart, experimenting and learning how to work with what you were born with. Embrace who you are and work with what lovely locks you inherited.

Embodying Your Beauty Through Your Hair

Don’t be afraid to work with what you have. Look for a hairdresser that specializes in your texture. Embrace your hair, your skin, your features. Embrace you. You can enhance hair with color and vice versa. A simple cut and a pop of color can change the look.

What about self-care rituals?

Turn those practices into rituals. A time for you to connect with your body. As you apply a hair mask, say some affirmations. Have fun with them! Nothing is too far out of reach. Come up with some feelings you want to embody and incorporate them into your affirmations. Now take those feelings and create 3 to 5 affirmations.

How to start your affirmations:

I am_____.

My hair is_____.

Feelings you may want to embody:

Sensual, embody, relaxed

Affirmations you can use as is, or use to inspire your custom statements:

My hair is an extension of my beauty.
I embody the sensuality that is my hair.
My beauty is not based on someone’s expectations of me.

Allowing yourself to feel the power of your affirmations and self-care rituals. Hair is not your identity, it adds to it. It’s an extension of who you are. Take baths, use essential oils, or milk baths—create an atmosphere that is both relaxing and serene. If you’re not a bath person you can still create a ritual out of this. Set the mood. Bring out the candles, music, anything that will connect you with yourself. Shower bombs are also fun and step-up the self-care game!

Show the world (and yourself) that your hair can be an expression of you, your color an extension of your magnetism. This an uplevel of your badassery. As your style in life evolves, so does our hair, your interests, and even those you surround yourself with. It’s up to you to show who you truly are in those stages. Let who you are authentically shine when you walk in the room with confidence.

Live your life. Experiment in all aspects. If you’re like me, you probably have some old pictures to look back on and just wonder, “what I was thinking?” Look back on her, your past self, and remember that those periods were how you got to where you are today, and were necessary in learning who you truly are.

Natalia Campos
Feb, 03, 2022

Choosing the Present

I used to spend so much of my life focused on anticipating what was coming, how I was going to feel, what may happen, or how I would react when something changed in my life. I would get caught up in preparing for change that seemed daunting, when in reality, it was a change that I often craved, and propelled me into a stage of life that I was yearning for.

I found that I was never really living in the moment, but simply waiting or moving fast. I found myself moving too fast, not taking breaks, working straight through every task, barely coming up for air throughout my entire day.

A few weeks ago, during a morning meditation, I was guided with the quote “sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” I sat for a moment, wondering how often I truly just allow myself to be, present, in the moment. How often do I truly let myself breathe, and just be?

We spend so much of our lives trying to rewrite our past, and predict our future, rather than living in the moment. Instead of being present in the time we will never get back. And when we allow ourselves to be present, that time doesn’t slip away as fast. When you begin to think about it, what else is there other than the present moment? Where are we, if we are anywhere, but the now?

Of course, it serves us well to reflect on our past, to learn from the growth, and to set intentions for our future. I’ve spent quite a bit of time reflecting on my 2021, to declare what I want to call in for 2022. When you take time to reflect, rather than rush to conclusions, you allow yourself to become clear.

After about a month of meditation, the word ‘integration’ settled in. We’ve all been through a lot, especially the last two years. But what I started to discover through this morning meditation, is that I’m truly yearning for more presence in my life. More time in the now.

Time to be with all the growth, the lessons, the musings. Time to just be in the moment, rather than rush through it, to the next thing, and forget it even happened.

It’s time to create space to pause. What can that space look like for you?

Maybe it’s time on the beach to watch the sunset. Time to sit at dinner with your family and laugh about traditions that have become so mundane they are comical 30 years later. Time to cherish the beautiful relationships you’ve built in your life that mean more than the things sitting in your closet. Time to be proud of the person you’ve become, and have always been. Time to put your phone on do not disturb and disconnect from the outside world, and go within.

Maybe presence is all about creating your own time.

Presence looks different for all of us. That’s the beauty of it. It doesn’t have to be defined by me, your partner, or your best friend. YOU get to define what presence looks like for you, in your life. You get to decide how to choose it, how to create it, and how to change it. You are the creator of your life and how you get to live it.

So, I ask you, can you choose to pause in the present? There may be no greater gift you can give yourself.

Alexa Sharwell
Feb, 01, 2022

Does Energy Healing Work?

Whether you recognize it or not, you have entered into an energetic era, helping to expand your consciousness and redefine your understanding of your soul. You are awakening to know yourself even more as a multisensory being, releasing the beliefs of having only five-senses.

In fact, you are a latticework of energies and systems, remarkably complex, exquisitely coordinated, and entirely unique. There are invisible energies that shape the way you feel, the way you think, and the way you live. Using your own energy systems, such as your meridians (your body’s energy pathways), chakras (your body’s energy centers), and aura (your body’s energy atmosphere), you can optimize your body’s natural capacities to heal itself and stay healthy. You can manage your energies to more effectively meet stress, reduce anxiety, and free yourself from ailments. In addition, you can apply what you learn for yourself to benefit family members and other loved ones.

The Path To Healing Begins With You

The first practitioner of energy medicine is you, the one that inhabits the body being cared for. Healing isn’t just for times of great pain or strife. It is something that can be done to create feelings of peace, relaxation, and well-being every single day. And, more importantly, everyone possesses the power to be their own healer.

Everyone has the ability to learn, expand, and use extra sensory perception to feel better in their body, thoughts, and spirit. Everyone can use energy to create more of the life that they are wanting—they only need to learn how to align with their higher self and tune into their energy, so that they can unlock their abilities. These tools help with every aspect of your life and there is no better time to give them to yourself. Chances are you’re already intuitive and picking up more foreign energy than you think.

When you learn how to replenish, strengthen your field, release (thoughts, events and people), be in present time, and use energy to start creating—life gets easier, more fun, and more manageable. When you learn how to heal your energy body, your aura, chakras, and other energetic components of your field, you feel better, you’re more healthy, and your mind is more at ease.

How Does Energy Healing Work?

Energy healing, or energy medicine, is based on the ancient concept that there is a vital force, an underlying flow of energy, both within the physical body and extending from it. The body’s entire energy system is referred to as the energy field, the energetic body, the biofield, or the subtle body—all interchangeable terms.

This system of energy is the template from which the physical body grows, and it guides the body’s function. I like to think of the physical body as a tree and the energy body as the deep rich earth in which the tree grows. The condition and nutrients of the soil affects the tree’s growth and health. While factors other than the soil (such as disease, overnight temperatures, or poor indirect sunlight) might impact the health of the tree, the overall reach and thickness of its roots, as well as its health and growth, relies on and has a symbiotic relationship with the soil.

The flow of energy through the energetic body can be compared to the flow of water in a creek, which dumps into a river and eventually finds its way out to the sea. If a dam is built anywhere along that river (an energy block forms), or if a huge rain dumps extra water into the river (there is an enormous influx of energy), the water will overflow to create new streams. If there is drought, or a shortage of water (energy), the smaller, shallower tributaries will dry up. Our goal in energy healing is to keep the water (the energy) flowing smoothly throughout your system by clearing the main river way and the tributaries and dredging any silt that builds up, so to speak.

What is the anatomy of the energy body? That depends on how the healer was taught. Different healers perceive, see, and describe the energy body differently, according to how they were trained.

In Western culture today, the most commonly known paradigms are from traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), which includes the meridians; the chakra system and aura from India; and the matrix described in several shamanic traditions.

How we are taught healing affects both how we see and hold the healing and how we perceive the energy field. This is a key point to keep in mind, as it can be quite confusing for a beginner to understand why different energy healers may have such different and varied explanations and therapies for the same energetic dynamics happening in one individual.

The energetic body is the underlying flow of energy that assists and supports the body’s normal functioning. The energetic body is in constant flow and movement. We can assist the health of the energetic body and the flow of energy by opening energy channels and allowing sluggish or stagnant energy to flow in its natural patterns. Illness, symptoms, and energy blocks all occur in an effort to bring an energy pattern back to its natural flow.

It is important to stress that healing is the restoration of the underlying flow in the body. Healing is the unwinding of energy blocks; healing is redemption of a wound that has been inflicted or an illness that has appeared; healing is the movement of the energetic body back toward wholeness, back toward its original pattern, albeit with imperfection or scars, and most often with change.

Energy healing means keeping the energy body as clear as possible and the energy flowing through it in a healthy way. A healthy body adapts—this is the body’s ability to move energy naturally in response to an influx of energy or a block that occurs due to trauma or illness. A healthy energy body will promote health, increase your vitality, and also help prevent disease and illness from developing.

If you are already healthy then using energy healing techniques to restore and maintain energetic balance will enable you to see what is occurring in your energy body, as you become more aware of the energy flow.

If you have had surgery or are sick or injured, working with your energetic body can help you speed up healing in your physical body. If you are experiencing pain or a chronic illness, you will notice that using energy healing on yourself over time will begin to move blocks in your body and begin your journey back to energy balance and adaptation.

The Energy Healing I Practice

Reiki, a renowned ancient wellness practice with roots in Japan, uses soothing vibrations, usually generated from the hands, to release emotional blockages and relax the body. This proven and honored technique is a natural way to strengthen your immune system, lower stress levels, and relieve physical and emotional pain. With expert guidance, anyone can tap into their inner healer and cultivate a Reiki practice that rejuvenates their mind, body, and spirit.

When I first found Reiki, I approached it, as well as other energetic modalities, as an open-minded skeptic. Yet, there was no denying after my first session how different I felt afterwards—relaxed on every level, my mind free of nagging thoughts, my heart light and uplifted, and my body energetically buzzing.

When I became attuned to Reiki level I, I remember wondering if I was really feeling and sensing in my hands and body, or if everyone around me in class was “making things up.” As a recovering Atheist, my trust in the universe, divine, unseen, or anything but the unscientific truth had to be restored and repaired. That took some time to heal and process, and as I began to integrate my lessons, my Reiki became stronger and my belief in helping others grew at the same intensity.

At many stages throughout my spiritual growth in most recent years, and in each modality I’ve studied (Shamanism, Reiki, Clairvoyant Training) I’ve had to re-develop trust in my intuitive abilities, since they stem from identifying my psychic senses, as well as using my imagination (or pineal gland) in different ways. I’ve also had to release blocks, resistance, and disbelief surrounding “could it really be this simple?” or “why didn’t anyone teach me this before?” These are a few common beliefs which stand in most people’s ways of believing or practicing in the “unseen.”

When you practice energy healing, really what you are learning is how to speak the language of energy. Everything has an energetic component: our physical surroundings, our emotions, our thoughts, other people. Everything! You’re already dealing with this energetic world. What I teach my Reiki students are the tools that make management of that field (and thus your life) easier, more fun, and exciting.

The Power Of Taking Responsibility

To live more fully, you must live in constant partnership with your body’s energy systems. Your energy system thrives on the intelligence that animates millions of processes in your body every second. More often than not, your body’s intelligence is operating outside of its scope of competence due to being bombarded by incoming stress, and having a consistent relationship to being constantly stuck in fight or flight.

Being in this mode of fight or flight over a length of time can create serious health problems ranging from digestive to hormonal to more. No matter how you got there, the solution is often the same—find ways to deeply and truly relax. Not just in the body, but also in the mind.

This is how Reiki can be a complimentary practice to regular medical or psychological treatment, while also improving and accelerating your results. When a person receives Reiki, the God-Conscious part of the energy assesses where the person has blocks and then directs the healing energy, usually to the block that is nearest the hands. However, sometimes it will go to the block that is most important, even if it is far away from the hands. The Reiki energy then works with the negative thoughts and feelings that are blocking one’s natural flow of energy and heals them as well.

This can happen in a number of ways: by flowing to the affected parts of the energy field and charging them with positive energy, Reiki raises the vibration in and around the physical body where the negative thoughts and feelings are attached. Once your energy is flowing naturally, the physical organs and tissues are then able to complete their healing process.

Try to find proof that energy healing doesn’t work. There are even more testimonials that energy healing practices actually do work—such as moving breath (or prana) through breathwork and yoga, clearing your energy through intuitive meditation, reiki, or traditional Chinese medicine. All contribute to a healthier lifestyle, helping us to deal with the stresses of life in a more effective way. This explains energy healing’s growing popularity, as well as the fact that therapies, including Reiki and acupuncture are now offered alongside traditional western treatments.

Just as there are many forms of energy healing there are many energy healers in the world. It is important to find one that you feel comfortable with, that is aligned with your highest good, and works with a modality of healing that you resonate with. If you are interested in learning more about energy healing and the services I offer please reach out to me, or view all of my offerings here. I am confident that I can help you feel and be the divine individual you are meant to be, and scheduling a 15 minute connection call with me is a great place to start!

Andrea Firpo
Feb, 01, 2022

How To Transition To A Plant-Based Diet Lifestyle With Ease

Shifting from the Standard American Diet to a plant-based diet can be confusing, not to mention overwhelming. You’ve eaten one way your entire life, after all, and any habit you’ve followed for a long time is tough to change, not to mention, of course, that you’re confused about where to start. Sure, it’s easy enough to say eat more plants, but how?

I’ve been eating mostly plant-based for five years now, but consuming meat is still close enough that I remember what it’s like to come from the opposite end of the spectrum. If you’ve been eating a heavily animal-based diet, the transition to a plant-based diet might seem impossible. You might be thinking what could one possibly eat if you don’t eat meat, eggs, and dairy? Well, don’t you worry. I’m here to assure you that not only is there plenty of nourishing, delicious foods to eat but they can be prepared as fun and creative plant-based alternatives to all your favorite foods.

So first, let’s begin by changing your mindset around what being plant-based might mean for you. It’s important to approach this new chapter with an open mind and to keep things positive. Try to think in terms of what you’ll be gaining from eating a plant-based diet instead of what you’ll be missing out on. Maintaining your new diet shouldn’t be about willpower, struggle, or deprivation. In fact, once you learn more about plant-based eating, you’ll see that you don’t really have to give anything up—just substitute for other options.

Once you’re familiar with the ins and outs of plant-based alternatives, you’ll have no problem learning to love the plant-based lifestyle and how it makes you feel.

What Is A Plant-Based Diet?

Eating a plant-based diet means eating whole, unrefined or minimally processed plant foods. It’s based on fruits, vegetables, tubers, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds. Being plant-based, it excludes meat, dairy products, eggs and refined grains, sugars and oil.

You Need To Know Your Reason Why

It’s important to get really clear on your reason for embarking on a whole food, plant-based diet. If it’s a big lifestyle change for you, it’s going to get tough at times and having a clear reason why can help you stick to your goals.

Reasons for eating plant-based could include:

preventing disease
managing blood sugar
lowering cholesterol
living longer
love for animals
losing weight
reducing your environmental impact

There are a lot of great reasons to eat a plant-based diet. Which one(s) speaks directly to you?

Find a reason that inspires and excites you and get really clear on it. Write down your why and stick it on your fridge or bathroom mirror. Keep that reason front and center to help you stay focused.

What Is The Difference Between Plant-Based And Being Vegan?

Let’s talk a little bit about the difference between vegan and plant-based. While they’re very similar, you may be vegan but not eat a whole food, plant-based diet—or you may eat a plant-based diet but not necessarily be vegan.

Vegan

Veganism is the practice of minimizing harm to all animals by abstaining from animal products such as meat, fish, dairy, eggs, honey, gelatin, lanolin, wool, fur, silk, suede, and leather. It is more than a diet, it is a way of living that seeks to exclude all forms of exploitation and cruelty to animals for food, clothing or any other purpose.

To technically be vegan, it would mean no down comforters, no wool socks, no honey, no gelatin-based candy and of course, no eating dairy, eggs, meat, or fish.

Plant-Based

A plant-based diet on the other hand, is just about the food. You can pretty much guess what it’s all about from the name. If you eat a plant-based diet you may not necessarily be vegan and you might have other reasons for eating that way than just compassion.

It Can Be Compassion And Health

Animal agriculture takes on a toll on our environment and natural resources. Raising animals for meat and dairy produces about 15% of all greenhouse gas emissions. That’s more than the entire global transportation sector. Producing meat demands a lot of water too. A 2-ounce serving of pasta requires 36 gallons of water while a 4-ounce hamburger requires 616 gallons. To combat the damage, we need to make some substantial shifts in the way we eat.

For myself, it started with health and the compassion followed suit as soon as I became further educated myself on animal cruelty. As I learned about modern day meat production, it was clear to me that I couldn’t be a part of it. From there, the more I educated myself on health and nutrition, the deeper my love for plant-based eating grew.

I eat a plant-based diet and do my best to reduce harm to animals in all areas of my life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, do the best you can with what you have at any given time and don’t beat yourself up if you stumble.

I personally like the idea of reductionism or doing your best to reduce harm. Becoming a strict vegan isn’t going to work for some people and I think a mostly plant-based diet is better than nothing at all. Listen to your body and trust your gut, you’ll find what’s right for you.

What Is The Difference Between Being A Vegan And A Vegetarian?

Vegetarians do not eat animals such as cows, pigs or fish but still include animal products such as dairy and eggs in their diet. Vegans do not eat or use any animal products. That means no meat, fish, eggs or dairy.

Appropriately planned vegetarian, including vegan, diets are healthful, nutritionally adequate…and appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, adolescence, older adulthood, and for athletes.

Why Choose A Whole Food, Plant-Based Diet?

By eating unrefined foods we are able to take advantage of all the macro and micronutrients we need but none of the junk we don’t. Reducing refined sugars, grains and oils is important in reducing inflammation.

Plants are healthy for us, and most of us don’t eat the recommended amount of fruits and veggies, so making the majority of your diet plant-based will up your produce ante, which is a nutritious choice. Fruits and vegetables are rich in vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and fiber. Fiber is a nutrient that most of us don’t get enough of, and it has a ton of healthy perks—it’s good for your waistline, your heart, your gut and your blood sugar. If done correctly, we receive better overall nutrition.

Could Becoming Plant-Based Make Me Unhealthy?

A plant-based or vegan diet could technically be made up of processed food, sugars, refined grains, and unhealthy fats, that’s where whole food, plant-based comes in. A whole food, plant-based diet aims to minimize or eliminate processed foods and stick to foods as close to their natural state as possible.

If you end up becoming a “junk food vegan,” then you may end up feeling low-energy and having a protein deficiency. A diet consisting purely of frozen vegan waffles and chips won’t supply enough protein (or practically any other nutrient) for your body’s energy needs. But if you take full advantage of a plant-based diet and fill your plates with colorful produce, hearty grains and satisfying nuts and beans, then you should have no problem meeting your daily protein goal.

And if you don’t plan well and you don’t eat a balanced diet, you can be missing out on important nutrients, such as vitamin B12, calcium, iron, zinc and protein—all of which are part of healthy, whole plant foods. Other nutrients to take into consideration are vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids.

What Constitutes a Plant-Based Diet?

A plant-based diet is one that centers on whole plant foods:

Legumes (chickpeas, beans, peas and lentils) provide plant protein and essential amino acids.
Mushrooms are a rich, low calorie source of fiber, protein, and antioxidants and help mitigate the risk of developing serious health conditions, such as Alzheimer’s, heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. They’re also great sources of Selenium.
Leafy green and cruciferous vegetables for calcium and other nutrients.
Nuts and seeds provide healthy fats.
Whole grains offer essential amino acids, iron and zinc.
A variety of fruits and veggies so you don’t eat the same things every meal and every day. This will ensure you’re getting a mix of various vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients.
Herbs and spices.

Why is a Plant-Based Diet Good For You?

A plant-based diet is the only diet that has been shown to not only prevent—but to reverse—advanced-stage cardiovascular disease and Type 2 Diabetes. In fact, one study shows that meat eaters have double the risk of diabetes compared to lacto-ovo vegetarians and vegans. Another study, this one published in February 2019, shows that people who eat a plant-based diet have higher insulin sensitivity, which is important for maintaining healthy blood sugar levels.

There’s also excellent scientific evidence that many chronic diseases can be prevented, controlled, or even reversed with a whole-food, plant-based diet. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association reviewed the diets of more than 300,000 people and found that the more closely they followed a plant-based diet, the lower their risk of developing type 2 diabetes, regardless of how much they weighed. Other studies have found a link between eating plant-based proteins (like beans and tofu) and overall longevity.

Studies also suggest that plant-based eating is associated with sustainable weight management, reducing the risk of heart disease by lowering your blood pressure and cholesterol, and improving your blood sugar control. Eating plant-based can also help quell inflammation, which raises your risk of heart disease by promoting plaque buildup in your arteries.

People who follow a plant-based diet tend to have lower body mass indexes (BMIs) compared to their omnivore counterparts. And research shows that people who use a vegetarian diet to lose weight are more successful not only at dropping pounds, but also at keeping them off.

You’ll also likely reap benefits from cutting down on meat (plant foods have less saturated fat and usually fewer calories), but it goes beyond what you’re limiting. Eating more plants means getting more of those good-for-you vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals and fiber – many of which are nutrients we typically fall short on.

In addition, it’s also linked to the prevention and treatment of hypertension, high cholesterol, and lowered risk of certain cancers. Research consistently shows that regularly eating plenty of fruits, veggies, legumes and grains is associated with a lower cancer risk. Those disease-fighting phytochemicals in plants have also been shown to prevent and thwart cancer. And, don’t forget, studies also show an association between eating red and processed meats and increased cancer risk, especially colorectal cancer. So there’s benefit not only from just eating more plants, but also from replacing some less-healthy foods with those plant foods.

Here are some simple strategies to help you easily transition to a wholesome, plant-based diet:

Take your own time. Just as Rome wasn’t built overnight, nor do you have to switch to a plant-based diet overnight. Some people have different hurdles to overcome, and it may take time to prepare—mentally and emotionally—for that kind of change. It took me five years to transition to a mostly plant-based diet (occasionally I am still vegetarian at meals).
Instead of removing meat immediately from your diet, start by decreasing the serving of meat you consume, at the same time increasing the amount of plant-based foods on your plate. Gradually work on swapping animal-based ingredients with plant-based alternatives in your favorite recipes, and substitute meat alternatives for animal protein. Substitutions allow you to enjoy the same meals and flavors without changing too much at once.
Next, begin to let go of dairy products you don’t enjoy or consume often. One of the most common causes of gastrointestinal upset is dairy, and when you eliminate it, you get rid of symptoms like constipation, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Dairy comes with numerous dangers, including increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and certain cancers like breast, ovarian and prostate. Eczema and other skin conditions often clear up after cutting out dairy. Not to mention, of course, that roughly 60 percent of the world’s population is lactose-intolerant.
Commit to a vegetarian meal at least once a day. A wholesome, vegetarian breakfast is a good place to start and potentially is the least intimidating to adapt. Since it’s not a meal you’d usually think about as veggie-filled, adding some here makes it easier to hit your daily quota. Then keep lunch and dinner as is. If you’re wondering what veggie-heavy breakfasts might look like, try adding spinach to your eggs, blending cauliflower in your smoothie or eating a breakfast salad. Usually we put an animal protein at the center of our plate at meals, so going vegetarian one meal a day is one way to cut back.
Watch your consumption of protein. Most people over consume it by doubling or even tripling the recommendations in the quest to get “enough.” The average adult needs a minimum of 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight per day. One kilogram equals 2.2 pounds, so a person who weighs 165 pounds, or 75 kg, would need about 60 grams of protein per day. However, your protein needs may increase if you are very active.
We actually don’t need to consume protein per se. What we need is to meet our requirements for the nine essential amino acids which our body cannot synthesize on its own. All plant foods contain amino acids in different proportions and there is plenty of protein in plants to meet all requirements. As long as you are eating enough calories to sustain yourself and are focusing on whole foods instead of refined foods, it would be impossible to become deficient in protein.
Educate yourself on the food you are consuming. After all you can eat Oreos and drink Diet Coke and call yourself a vegan. So really understanding how to make your food taste great while still being healthy and wholesome is extremely important. In general, it’s best to stick to whole, intact foods as much as possible.
Visit a farmed animal sanctuary. Animal welfare is certainly one reason people adopt a plant-only diet, but even if you’re not in it for the animals, changing your lens on how you see animals can often strengthen your commitment to making the shift. The more you can connect with farmed animals – connecting with a cow or goat the way you would a cat or dog – the less likely you’re going to be to want to eat them. While the world has been mourning the loss of almost a billion animals in the Australian fires – and rightly so – they often forget about the billions of farmed animals killed daily. These animals value their life as much as the koalas in Australia did, and making that heart connection with them is key.
Stock up on healthy foods. There are so many incredible products on the market today that it’s easier than it ever was to incorporate plant-based foods into your diet. There’s something for every budget and every palate. So take time to explore vegetarian and fresh produce aisles at your local supermarket. Stock up your kitchen with nutritious, plant-based foods and keep healthy snack options in easily accessible places like your bag, desk drawer, kitchen counter and fridge.
Keep your meals fun and exciting. Focus on foods you like and ones that are easily accessible to you. Also, don’t deprive yourself of occasional treats. If you’re craving dessert, eat something you are excited about. In addition, invest some time in exploring new recipes, ingredients, food blogs and restaurants. Find like-minded people – even if it’s via social media, read books and watch films on the subject to broaden your knowledge and seek inspiration. Soon, you’ll start to crave more plant-based foods over time.
Count your wins. Every single bite of fresh fruits and veggies that you eat is a win for your health, the planet, and the animals. Celebrate what you’re doing right and let those successes inspire you to continue.

Lastly, keep in mind that any transition takes time. Much of this is about trial and error, finding out what works for you and what doesn’t. So be gentle with yourself as you find your rhythm to incorporate plant-based foods.

Andrea Firpo
Jan, 25, 2022

How to Attune to the Cycles of the Moon

I find I’m most in tune when it’s a full moon, and that’s because I spend a lot of my days around teenagers, and their sassy attitude and strange behavior almost always clues me into when the moon is at its peak. Can any other educators or health care workers relate? That phase used to be the most prominent in my world, but I’ve come to see and understand how and why all the phases matter—especially to my feminine energy and cycle.

Learning how women are impacted and influenced by the moon connects the cyclical nature of a menses to the cyclical nature of the cosmos. Integrating such lunar cycle information so you can align yourself with the universe means using both powerful energies to work in tandem.

Since reading Kate Northrup’s Do Less book and using her Do Less planner, I have embraced cyclical planning using the moon cycle as well as my menstrual cycle. The four phases of the moon give off a distinct energy and women do as well. Let’s learn to understand the importance of aligning woman energies with the specific energies of the moon.

4 Phases of the Moon as They Relate to the Menstrual Cycle

(Here is how to use the lunar cycle if you don’t menstruate)

The new moon is likened to menstruation.

This is a time to rest as new moon energy is associated with the middle of the night, the dead of winter. It’s the energy of turning inward—reflecting and relaxing. Have you noticed the American culture is beginning to accept this concept a bit more readily and shift the hustle mentality?

The waxing quarter moon is likened to the follicular phase.

Like the waxing quarter moon is between the new moon and the full moon, the follicular phase is after a women’s period and before her ovulation. It is associated with the energy of new beginnings; that is, it’s a time to initiate and plan. This is the metaphorical season of spring.

The full moon is likened to ovulation.

If you work in education or health care, you can usually sense when it’s a full moon as the energy among students and patients tends to be quite potent. To this end, the full moon is a time to connect and be visible. Oh, hello imaginative summer…I am here to be noticed!

The waning quarter moon is likened to the luteal phase.

And here we have the emblematic autumn. The waning quarter moon ushers things to a close—has you wrap up when you’ve been doing and take a moment to analyze what worked and what didn’t. And then again, the cycle continues.

4 Self-Care Suggestions Based on the Phases of the Moon

New Moon

Create a cozy space for yourself—grab a warm beverage and light a candle. Grab a pen and your journal. Journaling is such a powerful way of checking in with yourself. It’s quite incredible what comes out of your head, down your arm, through your hand and on to paper.

Waxing Quarter Moon

Get going on something new (or even a project you’re working on) by storming your brain a.k.a brainstorming—maybe it’s a home improvement project, maybe it’s a lifestyle change, maybe it’s content creation. I like to do this on a huge piece of paper with colorful markers, but you can go the tech route too and use Canva or Pinterest to create a vivid vision. Dream big and get going on something new!

Full Moon

It’s time to be seen and be social. You can do this through connecting with friends, collaborating with like-minded people or posting Reels on Instagram. It’s also time to attract what you want, and that means manifesting. Check out my most recent KPCo article which leads you through the 6 steps to attracting what you want and with ease.

Waning Moon

Take a deep breath because it’s time to declutter and organize. This means paying attention to your space. My favorite thing to do is put on an upbeat song, a true crime podcast or my latest Audible book and get going on creating the physical vibe I want to be in.

Using the moon as your touchstone in how you live your month is a cool way to live; believe it.

Lisa Desberg
Jan, 24, 2022

Why You Should Ditch Bleach

Your shower area is smelling a little musty and you think you might have a little mold on the tile and grout. What do you do? The first thing most people think about doing is grabbing the bleach and dousing the shower to get it clean.

I’m here to tell you “STOP RIGHT THERE!” Put down the bleach—actually get rid of that bottle of bleach all together—because there are much safer alternatives that clean and disinfect just as well.

BLEACH DOES NOT KILL MOLD. That’s right. This is outdated information and bleach does not actually kill mold.

My own family members told me to use bleach when I found mold in my own home. I can’t blame them for not knowing, as it was once a recommendation from OSHA and the EPA. It’s hard for people to keep up with all of the changes and new science that comes out. Agencies like the EPA were only telling us the best thing that they knew at the time, but we know better now. So let’s discuss.

Reasons Why Bleach is Not an Acceptable Treatment for Mold

The mold senses the pH of the bleach and starts to release spores in hopes to find a new place to live.
Bleach will only kill the mold on the surface of non-porous surfaces. It will not kill mold on anything porous, and can penetrate the porous surface making it an even more ideal, wet climate for the mold to thrive.
Bleach is a dangerous chemical and should be avoided if possible. It can cause respiratory issues which only make health symptoms, caused by mold, worse.
Spraying bleach on any porous surface will penetrate the surface and the surface will slowly release the emissions back into the air in which you breathe.

Safer Alternatives to Bleach

Force of Nature Clean is a non-toxic bleach alternative.

Beware of any mold inspector using bleach containing solutions. The object of mold remediation is to get the roots (mycelia) and stop the problem. Mold is a huge issue and should really be handled by a professional. The extent of mold illness can be devastating and take years to overcome. When searching for a professional, make sure you find someone who understands this. The mold industry can be slimy, because of how much misinformation is out there. Be an informed consumer. Understanding this information will keep your and your family safe!

Ashley Spanovich
Jan, 11, 2022

Lessons Learned from a Six-Week Hiatus of Alcohol

For the past two years, I’ve taken a voluntary break from booze (wine, mainly). To my admiration, I’ve managed to do this twice now for around 45 days, and each experience was remarkably different. The main difference: my mindset.

The First Try

After reviewing my blood test results, the dietitian suggested a series of ambitious (and unsustainable) adjustments to my nutritional plan, which would undoubtedly improve my lipid profile. And although everything seemed doable for a specific period of time, one non-negotiable item turned on the loud siren with red flashing lights in my mind. The challenge: no alcohol for a minimum of four weeks.

If you’ve been sober for four months, four years, or more, you might be either rooting for me or vigorously rolling your eyes at the screen.

Either way, let’s agree to continue under the premise that everyone is free to follow the path that best suits them, and that I’m not lobbying for sobriety, nor for alcohol consumption. I do believe, however, that drinking has been normalized to an alarming extent and sobriety has been slightly condemned (by the ones with a drink in their hand). After facing an amusing variety of well-intended, albeit unsolicited opinions during these brief periods of abstinence, I have a theory as to why. And I’ll expand on this later.

Back to the challenge.

I was on a mission; In a competition with myself. Like Monica from FRIENDS, after being challenged by Phoebe on The One With The Late Thanksgiving.

My dietitian told me to get it all out of my system and start the following week. Was he expecting me to chug a bottle a day and start fresh on Monday? The whole getting-it-out-of-your-system argument seems absurd to me. For both, diets and long-term commitments (to others and to yourself).

Clearly, I started that day. I was determined to prove to myself that I could abstain for four weeks, and more. The key to my success that first time, was the short-termed lens through which I was looking at the situation. I wanted to win the sprint, not train for the marathon.

A Tradition in the Making

Seconds after closing the door, the host turned back to me and asked: “Wine right?” Although he assumed correctly, I could tell by his confused stare after I said: “That’s right! But I brought my own non-alcoholic wine. And no, I’m not pregnant,” that he was not expecting this reply. And to my relief, he did not engage further.

The aforementioned phrase became my automated out-of-drinking reply to anyone playing the role of unofficial bartender at a social gathering. It’s uncommon (at least in my circle of family and friends) not to drink at a reunion. And being a woman, pregnancy tends to be the first assumption. So, I led with that.

This was my second year cutting alcohol. And everything felt different, yet the only thing that had actually changed between one year and the next, was my mentality.

The first time I stopped drinking, I wanted to win. I wanted to get results and get it over with. I also fell deep into the quicksand of over-explanation. I used my dietitian’s words as a shield against the standard judgement that might trigger embarrassment or even shame. As if having a medical purpose acquitted me of any responsibility over this ‘nonsense’ of not drinking.

The second time, my perspective shifted dramatically. I felt like Peter Parker in No Way Home, when Dr. Strange separates him from his physical form (or, knocks him out of his body) and he sees himself, his reality, through another lens.

After spending time being more present with others and with myself, and embracing all emotions (versus pouring a glass of wine to mitigate the discomfort) there was no short-term goal anymore. What started as a competition with myself had turned into a commitment to myself. To my overall well-being. My aim was (is) to find a version of balance that works for me and to restore it as needed.

Overcoming The Cocktail Connection

In my experience, the only way to create a long-lasting habit change is through intrinsic motivation. So, I asked myself the tough questions, took the unpopular decisions and wore an invisible cloak of tolerance and compassion.

When using the medical excuse to justify my temporary break-up with booze, I’d get comments like: “One drink won’t ruin it for you,” or, “I’d rather take a pill for that than quit drinking.” Or, the assumption that I’m missing out on the fun, as I overheard when leaving a dinner party: “Of course she’s leaving early. What else is she gonna do if she’s not drinking?”

Considering what I’ve shared above, and remembering that people can only understand you from their perspective, which comes with its own set of expectations and biases, I stopped over-explaining myself. I leaned into tolerance and turned to answers like: “Because I feel like it,” or “Because I want to,” which surprisingly halted further inquiries of why I wasn’t drinking.

Eventually I understood why people would get disappointed if I didn’t accept a drink, or even facetiously offended if I didn’t toast with alcohol for what they deemed a special occasion. And I think the answer is connection. Many meaningful, memorable moments happen over a meal, over laughter and conversation, and they happen over a glass of wine (or, drinks with friends and family).

An alternative: long conversations over coffee. Great for bonding and building that sense of camaraderie, minus the hangxiety. A complete win if you ask me.

What about you? Does a glass of wine (or preferred boozy beverage) represent connection and comfort for you on any level? If you were looking for your next journal prompt, you’re welcome.

Add Your Heading Text Here

Now that I’m reflecting back on these, I think of them more as realizations than learnings. You decide:

Determination and Intrinsic Motivation. This pair has the potential to change any behavior and create long-lasting change. When we leverage these, we are capable of anything.
Consistent Energy Boosts. Drinking can trigger a series of unhealthy, physiological chain reactions that mess with my digestion, my sleep and ultimately my habits. I found that during these periods of abstinence my healthy-ish lifestyle prevailed, which in turn fed and elevated my energy levels.
Setting Boundaries. With the right motivation, I’m able to quickly mark limits. I’ll gladly leave my comfort zone to engage in polite confrontation and uncomfortable conversations to protect them. And I did.
Mindful Presence. Avoiding the delightful, desensitizing elixir forced me to feel everything. To deal with difficult situations without resorting to anything but my own inner wisdom, my breath, and other stress-reducing techniques rooted in my yoga practice. I learned to be more present with myself, and with the ones that matter the most.
Tolerance and Compassion. Since I quickly realized I wasn’t too tolerant of inebriated folks when I was in a state of sobriety, I turned to compassion—for others, and for myself. I focused on appreciating the good in people and remembering that many of us can act idiotically when intoxicated, which doesn’t make us less worthy. If anything, it makes us more human.

The Last Round

Only you can define your relationship with alcohol. My two cents: If it’s hurting you more than it’s helping you, if it’s risking your relationships with others, then it might be time to re-evaluate priorities. I believe in living a life guided by balance for as long as I can keep it, and restore it when I’ve lost it. However, if the moment comes where I feel excess is taking over and balance is nowhere to be seen—it’s likely I’ll take a longer pause, if not a permanent one.

Jit Garcia
Jan, 11, 2022

How You Become a Channel Through Hypnosis

What is Channeling?

Channeling is the act of connecting to something bigger than ourselves. In fact, many of us channel regularly and don’t even realize it. For example, perhaps you had a feeling about something that turned out to manifest itself in real life? Yep, that’s you, tapping into your intuition. And yes, when you are connected to your intuition, you are channeling as you become the medium between this world and unseen realms in which your higher self resides. Mediumship, or channeling, is a connection with source and oneness, which all are connected to, and this practice can take many forms. Some receive symbolism and metaphors, while others practice automatic writing and tapping into soul connections.

Today we’re going to speak specifically to Hypnosis. Still, before we get into it, I want to give some foundational information. For example, there are several schools of thought when it comes to channeling, and honestly, they all layer on top of one another. They speak to stepping out of the left brain and into the right, changing brainwave patterns, and raising your personal vibration. Now, I know you may be thinking, Emily, how the hell do I do that? Well, I’m going to explain how each one works and why they all produce profound effects. So, with that, let’s start out with raising your personal vibration.

Energetic Vibration

Science tells us that everything on a subatomic level is composed of vibrating energy and that each of us omits a unique rate of vibration. This vibration is an extension of source energy. From this place, we can connect to source and channel beyond our 3D reality. By tapping into the vibrational frequency of source, we begin to experience the knowing of other beings, other people, and other realms. As the native is simply an observer as they channel another. Once the connection is established, messages can come in through thought, spoken word, pictures, and sound. When someone alters their vibration and connects to another, this can influence their psychological responses, tone of voice, and physical nature. Mediums and Psychics alike who have mastered Hypnosis and Transcendent states of being put themselves into a trance. They open themselves up to connecting to the souls around them and beings on the other side. This is due to their heightened state of awareness. They are so tapped into their divine consciousness that they can communicate with energies on different planes.

I want to state that we are all born with this sense of connection and ability. The bond between the ethers and the 3D is not a privilege for those who are touched by god. It is accessible to all of us. Through conditioning and social norms, we subconsciously hide our gifts to better fit into the mold of the many. I’m here to tell you that you have the power to step into ANY dimension you desire; all that is required is a clear mind and a connection to the awareness that lives within you.

Left Brain, Right Brain

Alright, let’s get into the science of the brain. So for starters this theory has been completely debunked. Yes, it is true that different sides of the brain effectively produce different functions, however, logic and creativity do not fall under this explanation. Rather, science now shows us that creativity is associated with the default mode network, while logic is associated with the executive control network. Both of which live in the right, and left brain. And I know this may sound confusing so let me create a picture for you. I want you to imagine your brain, with a line down the middle, and on that centerline lives a butterfly. This butterfly crosses the hemisphere and preoccupies both sides of the brain. Thai is similar to the default network and executive control network. Make sense now?

The default mode network is most helpful when it comes to expressive and creative duties. This includes reading the emotions of others, enjoying artwork, composing music, and tapping into our intuition. On the other hand, the executive control network is essential for processing logic, language, and analytical argumentation. It’s great at remembering numbers, reasoning, and critical thinking.

Now, our brains function in a state of both logic and emotion every day, however, when we enter transcendent states, we step out of a copasetic relationship between the two, as the executive control network takes a break and the default mode network activates. We naturally enter brain wave patterns that move away from doing and step into feeling when this happens. When we do this, we raise our vibration and produce a frequency that matches higher realms of consciousness because we are entirely in our divine state of mind. We can tap into source energy without 3D judgment or examination, and incredible things begin to cultivate.

So when you hear people speak about stepping into their “right brain,” know that what they are really trying to convey is the practice of quieting the executive control network, and activating the default mode network.

Brain Waves

Now, four types of brain waves can occur at any given time. Gamma that cycles at 38-42 Hz per cycle, BetaBeta from 12-38Hz, Alpha 8-12 Hz, Theta 3-8Hz per cycle, and Delta at .5-3 Hz per cycle.

Gamma brainwaves are the fastest brain waves that cycle at a very high frequency. The function is to simultaneously process information from different aspects of the brain at once. Gamma waves allow the brain to pass data rapidly and silently. In order to step into this space, the mind must be still and quiet. It is activated when we are in mental states of heightened observation and awareness.

For this reason, it is speculated that Gamma changes the perception of perceived reality. It is linked to spiritual emergence, divine connection, and expanded consciousness. The scientific reason for this is that Gamma Waves are strongly connected to the visual cortex, which cultivates the full potential of the mind’s capabilities. It has to do with extreme focus, increased creativity, and, most importantly, attention on the body and awareness of senses. Sound familiar? This is precisely what we discussed in raising your vibration by stepping into trance. As you allow yourself to step into your body and feel, you create a connection between yourself and the energies around you.

In fact, Neuroscientists who study electrical frequencies in the human brain have repeatedly discovered Gamma Waves in those to be considered expert meditators. As they report experiencing deep feelings of peace, tranquility, and relaxation.

On the other hand, the Beta State is your normal waking state of “doing.” Most of us are in this state throughout our day-to-day experiences. Because when our attention is on the hamster wheel of life, our brains are alert, as they are judgmental, focused, and attentive. They are ready to move into fight or flight at any time and are in a constant state of 3D awareness. Just know that because the conscious mind is fully engaged, you will find yourself unable to access information from the beyond.

It would be like being tuned into the wrong radio station or the equivalent of some far-away longwave radio station, set on an island somewhere.

Now, from this point on, we discover something interesting. Our brain can reach divine connection through the Higher Gamma State and the lower Brain Wave States… And I know you may be thinking, how is that possible? Hold on tight; I promise I’ll explain it; for now, we are going to learn about Alpha states.

This state falls into the middle of the wave spectrum. When in Alpha, our brains are not focusing on anything in particular. It’s a state of relaxation in response to something mediative like doing the dishes or folding laundry, that is, if you enjoy these things. If you don’t, then it doesn’t count as meditative. Instead, perhaps just meditating outright is your thing. Because when we produce alpha brain waves, we’re able to tap into rest and relaxation. This state of being can also enhance creativity within the mind. Because of this, spiritual practitioners everywhere have found this as their baseline for channeling. As it directly connects us to serenity.

Alright, this state of mind is most associated with trance due to its correlation with relaxation. For example, Theta Brainwaves are apparent in those who are in light sleep or deep meditation. It’s a gateway for the subconscious mind to learn new habits quickly, access memories, and connect to our intuition. As our sense of reality shifts from the external world to our inner world. We release our “monkey mind” with all its thoughts, judgments, perceptions, and options, and we enter the present moment. With nowhere else we need to be, nothing else we need to do. It’s a state of relaxed detachment from all things concrete as we move into our personal perceptions of reality and consciousness as a whole.

In this state, I begin facilitating channeling with my clients due to their level of self-awareness, openness, and relaxation. They are open channels of communication at this point, and all judgments have been set aside. They have created the space to connect with energies outside of themselves. They become the conscious observer of whatever comes through.

And last but not least, we have Delta. This is a very auspicious state due to the fact that we don’t really know scientifically what’s happening to our brain when we are in this realm. In Hypnosis, we call this the Esdale state. It’s the deepest state you can go into in Hypnosis. It holds what people call the superconscious mind, infinite intelligence, and the collective unconscious. In fact, science has shown us that children under the age of 1 are in a dominant delta state, and by the time they are 3, they are fully in Theta. This is interesting when I recall all the stories I’ve heard of children who remember their past lives or “imaginary friends.” By the age of 5, most have no recollection of these events. Only their parents share their stories. Okay, back on topic!

Most who reach Delta have no conscious awareness and come back into Beta with very little memory recall from experience. It’s like we’re off somewhere else. However, some have been able to remain conscious in Delta, but know, this takes practice! Every once in a while, I will bring a client down into Delta if their critical mind is resistant to surrendering to the process. But more often than not, Theta is deep enough to channel.

The subconscious mind is dominant in a Theta brain wave state as trance alters and distorts our sense of time. The constructs of the rational mind do not restrict our thoughts. Perhaps most beautifully, though, the subconscious mind will begin to communicate through images and metaphors in a trance state. Our conscious mind is present and watching, but our subconscious mind provides the information and receives suggestions.

Although channeling can happen in the alpha state and below, there is something to be said about the misunderstood gamma brain waves and their connection to spiritual emergence. As I write this, the best explanation I can think of is a comparison of awareness. So let’s say that you are sitting in a chair with your feet on the floor. You begin to pay attention to the temperature in the room… any tension in your body.. and the rhythm of your breathing… These are the beginning stages of entering a light trance that will bring you into Alpha, then Theta, and Beta. But, let’s say that as you sit in that same chair with your feet on the floor, you begin to place your attention on external things instead. With your eyes closed, you imagine the space above you… sounds outside your window… and energies around the room… And let’s say we take that even further as you imagine floating above your home, above your city, above your country, and eventually above the world. Both of these processes bring you into transcendent states. The difference is one is going down into the body, and the other is going out, seeking new perspectives and gaining new insights of reality outside of the self. But because the premise of Gamma states falls under deep concentration, stillness and silence, it is much more difficult to access and take practice to step into a mental state of heightened observation and awareness.

How Do We Channel in Hypnosis?

As with any other hypnosis session, we start with an induction. This is bringing the brain out of Beta and into Theta. Once this is done, we move into phrasing that allows the client to access the energy they wish to channel. I leave this open to the client to discover because if I say who they will channel, I move from guiding to leading. And just for context, I’ll explain this a bit. Guiding is helping someone find their own answers; leading is controlling the narrative. When doing this kind of work, whether by ourselves or with a Hypnotist, we always want to be guided into a place to receive, as control is released. When I work with clients, I do this by stating, “there is a part of you that is divinely connected to your perception of a higher power; when that part is present, please say I am here.” This leads the client to connect with whatever energy is best suited for them at this time. I have had clients connect with ET’s, Buddha, their unique guides, and have even received the answer, “I have no name; I simply am.” Once we connect to the energy of another, we ask questions that the client came up with prior to trance. These questions can be about a client’s direction or advice on which they wish to receive wisdom.

Although the outcomes are different, the feeling is always the same. Clients explain how they felt whole as their conscious mind observed what was channeled without input or interference. They speak to feeling connected to something greater than themselves, as though they have a greater understanding of the connection they share to their guides, ascended masters, and beings’ that exist outside of the 3D reality. For those of us who weren’t given a safe environment to explore these gifts, it will take practice settling into these extraordinary states of consciousness.

As you explore this channeling space, collaborating with a Hypnotist can be an excellent tool to start with. It allows you to focus less on trying and more on experiencing. And the more you practice, the easier it will be to tap into these realms on your own. Your hypnotist can even link in suggestions for you to return to this state in your own time to make the practice easier. And remember, for those who struggle with accessing your gifts, allow yourself time to explore trance. If you choose to do this work independently, practice focusing so that your mind is not wandering with ruminating thoughts. You must become the observer, keeping conscious focus as you remember the questions you wanted to ask before entering the trance, which can be difficult. Once we move into Theta, forgetting our goals and desired outcomes becomes easy. We become so relaxed that we simply exist at this moment with no thoughts. So being able to stay conscious while surrendering to channeling will take time. But just like anything, it takes repetition, and the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Mediums and psychics alike tap into these deeper brain waves to connect to source energy, allowing them to channel loved ones, guardians, allies, and ancestors. It’s no different from a Hypnotist guiding their clients into a trance. Because all channeling happens when we step out of our own way, settle our mind, and center our energy. Whether it be Gamma or Delta, it’s all about relaxing and surrendering to universal energy.

Emily Rose Wheeler
Jan, 06, 2022

Where Joy and Grief Co-Exist

It’s been almost 7 years since the first person I ever fell in love with died. We met when we were 14, and I instantly fell in love with everything about him—his smile, his unmatchable charm, and the way he carried himself talking about philosophers yet was a “bad boy” all around. Our relationship was complicated, but what kind of first love isn’t? All that mattered, was that we understood, and I held onto hope for as long as I could.

The day he died was a day I dreaded for as long as I could remember, though it hit me like a ton of bricks. Sudden, unexpected, yet something I feared for nearly a decade.

Grief was a place I had been before, but this time, it was different. This grief shaped my 20s. I comfortably sat in the middle of this ocean of grief for what felt like would be the rest of my life. I saw no way out, and after months and months of unfathomable grief, I accepted that the ebbs and flows of this pain would be present forever. I would ride the waves and let them wash over me.

Slowly, as the months turned into a year, I began to crawl my way out of the hole I was in. I sought out support. I began to explore every modality from therapy, movement, western medicine, energy healing, Chinese medicine, coaching, and more.

As I weaved these new experiences into my life, I found myself shifting. I was slowly beginning to choose myself. Making subtle changes and choices that allowed me to be present and an active participant in my life. My grief started to soften. The pain was still there. The waves of grief still rocked me, but I found hope. I began to write, to express myself, to feel the depth of my emotions.

Once I accepted that grief will not disappear, it’s tight grip loosened. I allowed myself to welcome other emotions and feelings back in, for more than just a fleeting moment. I let myself fully feel the breadth of my experiences. I stopped going through the motions. I began to live my life again, to truly live. I remember the first time I felt true joy again, it’s as clear as day. I had forgotten what it felt like, in fact, I didn’t believe I could ever feel it again, like I had before. And in that moment, I knew it was possible. Joy and grief can co-exist. Love and sadness. Happiness and fear. Celebration and longing. Shadows and light. More and more, the joy, celebration, love, happiness, and light, began to fill my life again.

The grief and pain has made me who I am today. It’s led me to my purpose and shown me the power of duality. He’s shaped me in so many ways. And with that acceptance, I’ve found peace.

Alexa Sharwell
Jan, 05, 2022

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