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The Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit Connection

The Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit Connection: What does it really mean? What makes up who we are and our whole Self? If you’ve landed here, with an interest in holistic approaches to healing, I am sure you’ve heard of the mind-body connection. We know we have different parts of ourselves, but how are they connected and how do they work?

Think of yourself as a circle with four parts. These four parts are the Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit—or your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual self. When they are optimally connected and aligned, they are working together for you and your highest good. When one part of the whole is out of alignment, the other parts become unbalanced. By taking care of all parts of yourself, they stay connected, balanced, at their optimal frequency.

The Mind

The mind is our intellect, our thought processor, the mental aspect of ourselves. The mind is consciousness and subconsciousness. It processes and stores thoughts, feelings, ideas, incoming signals, memories, and emotions. The mind leads us, but should not be our only authority and ruler.

The Body

The body is your physical self. The vessel that carries you through everyday, allows you to breathe, eat, sleep, and live. The body is made up of cells that communicate, interact, and assemble to create our tissues, nerves, bones, and organs which allow us to not just survive, but thrive.

The Soul

The Soul is your emotional self, your younger self, your inner being. The soul allows you to tap into all that you are, all that you feel, express and have within you. Emotion is energy in emotion. Connecting to this energy allows you to flow.

The Spirit

The Spirit is your highest self, your authentic self, your true essence. Your spirit is everything that you already are, and everything you’ve always been. It is everything you have within you and allows you to tap into everything outside of yourself. It deepens your connection to the spiritual world and universe around you.

Connecting All Parts

All parts of your whole self speak to you in different ways. When you quiet your mind, your intuition will speak. When you connect to your body, you begin to listen and hear it’s whispers. As you tap into your soul and what you’re feeling by allowing it to be expressed, strong emotions can be understood, then dissipate, rather than weighing you down. By connecting deeper to these three parts of yourself, you open up everything you have within; your Spirit. Then you’re able to hear messages from your highest, most authentic self. It’s a continuous circle of bridging the connection between all four parts of the mind, body, soul, and spirit.

There are incredible holistic practices and tools to deepen your connection to your mind, body, soul, and spirit:

  • Guided Visualizations

  • Coaching

  • Hypnosis

  • Reiki Healing

  • EFT Tapping

  • Affirmations

  • Body Scan Meditations

By viewing yourself as one whole with these four parts, you will maximize your potential and healing.

A few ways to begin to understand if you feel alignment within your whole self. Allow these to be a guide for when you feel off balance, and where you can start to tap back into yourself.

  • Awareness of body’s signs

  • Recognition of feelings and emotions in the soul

  • Cognizant of intuitive messages

  • Trust in the unknown and future

  • A connection to a higher self

When you become aware of the wisdom your mind, body, soul and spirit is giving you, you are able to deepen your connection to yourself and the four parts that make up who you are. When you are connected to yourself, you become one embodied self.

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  • Alexa Sharwell
  • Dec, 21, 2021

How To Strengthen And Reinforce Your Spiritual Hygiene

When we talk about nurturing good physical hygiene, we agree to practice regular habits that promote reliable health within us, creating balance and integrity for the physical body we received in this lifetime. We can all agree that it’s important for us to receive adequate sleep, and to eat things which are nutritious. We also greatly enhance our physical well-being when we regularly exercise, practice self-care, cleanliness, and maintain our dental health.

Cultivating good emotional hygiene operates the same way. This can take the form of talking about your feelings with a trusted friend, or receiving an energetic healing from a Reiki Practitioner. Regular journaling can also help us to express ourselves before we share out loud. Whenever facing difficult or challenging times, a support group can be beneficial to help us process our emotions with others who are sharing similar circumstances.

When it comes to our energy however, it is part of the spiritual aspect of ourselves, and the way we energetically inherit and absorb the world around us. By managing your energy through spiritual hygiene practices, you allow yourself the opportunity to navigate challenging circumstances, while also releasing what no longer serves your highest good, in order to feel lighter, brighter, and consistently better.

With the current state of the world, we are barraged with feelings of fear, anger, resentment, blame and guilt on a daily basis. All of these emotions vibrate so low on the energetic scale, they do absolutely nothing to support our levels of well-being on an emotional, physical or mental plane. The levels of stress on our nervous systems are monumental and if we don’t calm, soothe, and recalibrate these systems regularly, we will feel burdened, overwhelmed, and full of anxiety.

When consistently using energetic practices, your energetic body vibrates at a higher vibrational frequency, allowing you to create the intentional life that you desire and intend. Energy practices can also help you maintain a healthy aura and energy field, so it does not interfere with your daily health and wellbeing.

When we up level our spiritual hygiene, we bolster our relationship to Spirit, God, Source, Universe, Divine. We find ourselves with a stronger advantage to overcome the low frequency vibrations, thought patterns and emotions that we are currently all consumed by, on so many levels.

When we do this every day, we begin to raise our vibration. When we raise our vibration we can begin to change our thought patterns. When we change our thought patterns, we can begin to change our reality. But it is a practice, we need to do it daily, however that may look for you, it has to become habitual.

What Is Spiritual Hygiene?

Spiritual hygiene refers to the practice of paying attention and maintaining your energetic self. This includes your aura as well as the rest of your astral bodies. Spiritual hygiene is practiced by many people, including those who practice every type of religion. Each person may use different practices, but they are all to achieve one goal; clear your energetic space of unwanted energy.

Spiritual contamination might be the result of not paying attention to one energy field, thus allowing other energies that are not yours to influence you. This could have a negative effect in all areas of your life including personal relationships or work. Your auric bodies extend around you and can easily interact with the energies of others. Even if you practice spiritual shielding and protection, it’s easy to miss a few days or have a situation where some negativity just seems to stick to you. But you can do something about it.

​​How Do You Know If You Need Spiritual Hygiene?

It is a good practice for anyone to pay attention to and tend to their personal energies. Just as you take care of and cleanse your physical body with personal hygiene practices, the same can be done on a spiritual level.

Psychics who can “see” other planes of existence are using their clairvoyant abilities to interpret bits and pieces of energy residue from others we have been in contact with, or past experiences which can stick to our aura, just like dirt and grime can stick to your body. There are some telltale signs when one is in need of a spiritual cleansing such as:

  • Too much chatter in the brain

  • Restlessness during quiet time

  • Too much drama happening in your life

  • Physical or emotional exhaustion

  • Difficulty focusing on tasks

  • Obsessive thoughts

  • Overly emotional or short-tempered

  • Irritated by other people’s energy

  • Financial stagnancy

What do you do if you feel you are in need of spiritual hygiene? The first step is to not worry. Your energy is very much a part of your body and you have the ability to master it. Even if the energy that is stuck to you is not yours, you have the ability to cleanse yourself, spiritually, and remove what no longer serves you.

How to Incorporate Energetic Practices to Achieve Spiritual Hygiene

As a Soul Liberation & Embodiment Guide, I understand the importance of cultivating and nurturing my daily practice. To be able to serve my clients at the highest level, my spiritual body has to be clean, it has to be strong and it has to be nourished.

In addition to practicing Reiki, I personally use meditation, journaling, going for a walk, breathwork, taking a salt bath, and listening to music to help shift and manage my energy.

Start small if you need to, but just start. Find something that will fit into your daily life that will help connect you to Spirit, that will serve to cleanse your emotional body, and help strengthen and raise your vibration.

Examples of Spiritual Hygiene

Meditation is the go-to for most people when it comes to spiritual cleansing and hygiene. If you want to take it up a notch, visualize taking a mental, energetic shower. Simply watch and feel the good energy of the Universe fall all around you and watch as it cleanses away the negative energies from your personal space and auric field.

Conditions of many kinds, including chronic back pain, headaches, and eczema are greatly improved with regular meditation. A regular meditation practice can also alleviate anxiety, depression, and insomnia. While the research and documentation isn’t as thorough, using prayer, visualizations, affirmations, chanting, and gratitude lists can be just as effective, and have been shown to have similar results.

For millennia, monks and other spiritually advanced people have used chanting as a way to balance and cleanse their energy. There is proof that chanting affects physical matter as it can literally create patterns in sand. You can feel the effects of chanting as the soundwaves reverberate throughout your body, but the waves don’t stop there. They begin from deep within and travel to permeate the space around you, clearing and healing your energy and spirit.

To use this practice, sit as if you are going to meditate. Keep your spine straight and aligned and take in a deep breath. As you exhale, chant the sounds, OM. Exhale with the sound until complete then repeat. You can do this for as long as you like, but try to chant for at least two minutes. Play around with different ranges, like a higher OM sound or a low, deep sound. Do this until you find the range or tone that feels right to you and enjoy it.

The Chinese practice of Feng Shui urges us to look at our living and working environments to find balance with the natural world. Get rid of any clutter. When we have piles of “stuff” in our space that we don’t need or have use for, we are creating stagnation in our environment.

Smudging is another way to energetically cleanse a space to invite positive energy. When smudging a space, you burn plant material such as sage or palo santo. These plants and barks expel unwanted energy.

Burning sage to eliminate unwanted energy has been used for centuries, if not longer. Many people use it to “clear” a new space they are moving into. Simply light the end on fire and walk around the perimeter of the space you want cleared, allowing the smoke to remove unwanted energies. Then move through to the middle of the space, and wave the sage bundle up and down around you, much like an eraser, and allow the smoke to clear your personal energy.

The practice of using crystals, specifically selenite, is as easy as choosing your crystal and placing it in a space near you, or using it as an energetic magic wand. You could also grid your home or a specific room by placing a selenite crystal in each corner, one above your front door, or on the floor under your bed to clear your energy while you sleep.

Salt is a mineral that has long been used to absorb and remove negative energy. Salt is often placed around a home as protection, however a salt bath can be used to remove negative energy from you, too. Simply take a relaxing bath in saltwater or add Epsom salts to your bath for extra relaxation. Adding an essential oil to your bath can provide even more protection and enjoyment as you bathe in the luxurious scent and silky feel of the Epsom salt and oil mixture.

Your Cleansing Process Is Very Personal

There are many techniques you can use to cleanse your energy and enjoy spiritual hygiene. The key is to do something and keep practicing until you feel relief. If one technique doesn’t work, simply try another. You will find one you resonate with and when you do, you can remove energetic burdens so that you can experience the beautiful physical, mental and emotional states that come with spiritual health. If you can spend just 10-20 minutes each day to cultivate spiritual hygiene in your life you will be more grounded and have increased clarity.

In essence, maintaining a strong spiritual practice is key. If you don’t have one, create one. Find something that works for you. And if you do have one, maintain it and continue it, because as we ride through this invisible wave, we have absolutely no control, we have no idea how it will end. But what we do have control over, is our ability to connect with ourselves, with our heart space, with Source, God, Universe, Divine. Only then can we truly begin to navigate this perfect storm, become empowered and gain more clarity and freedom. During this time in history we need these spiritual practices more than ever in order to dramatically improve the quality of our life for as long as we live.

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  • Andrea Firpo
  • Dec, 21, 2021

Energy Work for Solopreneurs

Solopreneur life can be isolating and confronting—which creates the perfect storm for self-sabotage. Especially in the early-stages, solopreneurship fast-tracks the surfacing of our limiting beliefs, and if you’re not aware, self-defeating behaviours take the driver’s seat. Maybe you have a good day where you get some marketing ideas circulating, and brainstorm your next project, but somehow in the next moment, you’re on the couch numbing yourself with Netflix because procrastinating feels more tolerable than dealing with the overwhelm

Starting a business on your own can feel like one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

But the feeling doesn’t have to bring you to the point of paralysis.

Often the solutions that circulate the business coaching community at this stage are to work on your mindset and develop strategies to get to where you want to go. However, the self-introspection is somewhat surface level and the majority of the focus quickly shifts to achieving external results.

It goes like this:
  • Create the vision.
  • Set the goals.
  • Learn a few strategies to achieve them.
  • Then look at what beliefs you hold that are preventing you from taking action.
  • Maybe try a different strategy. Adjust as necessary.

However, if your business is in the spiritual or personal development realm, there’s a layer of complexity to these steps because your business is inextricably tied to your personal growth. It becomes just as much, if not more, about your personal expansion than your bank account’s. The solopreneur (or soulpreneur, if you will) pursuit is fundamentally connected to who you are, and every step you take becomes deeply personal.

And when stuff gets deep, our subconscious defense mechanisms flare up like nobody’s business. Our egos do not like the changes that are afoot when we confront our fear of failure, our fear of what others think of us, and ironically, our fear of success. It’s at this stage, when all our inner turmoil bubbles up as we consider what the true, most authentically aligned path forward for ourselves is, that we enter what I call the Phoenix phase of the journey.

Because ego-death is imminent and it can feel like we’re about to burn up into a pile of ash. But if we charge ahead, and try to skip the phase of embracing and working with fear, inevitably what we’ve ignored will come knocking on our door…and we’ll miss the whole “being reborn and rising from the ash” thing.

For example, I’ve seen this pattern in the coaching community:

A coach is told to find a market niche. So they find a market niche, and learn to create killer content to attract their target client. They do well for a while, and tout 10k or 25k months or however much they’ve sold.

And then…

* CRASH * BANG * BOOM *

It’s like a fight scene from the original batman series. Only instead of men in tights throwing awkward fake punches, it’s a bunch of the coach’s internalized cognitive dissonance wreaking havoc in their subconscious and getting into fisticuffs with itself.

All the feelings they ignored when they created their offering, when perhaps they knew it didn’t feel authentic, or it didn’t align with their values, smack them in the face. So they burn out. And take breaks or pivot or quit because whatever they created started to feel yucky

Soul-damaging, even.

Enter more numbing with Netflix and days spent on the couch. Now you may be asking yourself, “Mmk, Julia, how do you know this pattern so well?” Ok fine, yes, I speak from experience. A similar but different experience.

When I was at wit’s end with creating my intuitive healing and coaching business, and flailing around trying to figure out my next steps, I hired a business coach. And even though this coach was well-versed in how fear shows up in entrepreneurs, the focus was largely external. Which makes sense. It was business coaching, after all. We would do some introspection but the emphasis was on strategy and getting clients.

In hindsight, what I really needed at the time was space to simply work with this intense fear-based energy that was arising within me as I started to expand my business. Because even after years of personal development work, the fear that came up when I thought of taking the leap into full-on entrepreneur life was too overwhelming. I would shut down at the idea of marketing myself and I couldn’t implement any of the strategies my coach was offering.

And then it dawned on me, as my work with the coach was winding down...Why the @#&% wasn’t I taking my own advice that I give my clients?!

I was literally helping women through fear-based overwhelm throughout the entire year in my energy work sessions, but because I had made this big investment into business coaching that I wanted to stay accountable to, I wasn’t taking as much time and space to address my energetic state. If I could go back, I would have given myself permission to work on embracing my fear for a couple of months. I would have taken ample time to apply my energy practices to get into a more regulated state and to get my energy flowing.

I eventually did. I finally found a permanent place to live (I had been bouncing around vacation rentals after moving to a new city) and I put the biz stuff on hold.

I found an amazing acupuncturist, I did yoga daily, I dove deep into my meditation practice, I hung out alone in the forest, and salsa danced whenever I could. I nurtured the shit out of my personal energy by doing things I love to do, and by taking things slow and focusing inward. I started to feel my energy come alive again, and I felt myself evolving beyond the fear I had associated with solopreneur life.

I found a fervour for my life and my business that I hadn’t felt before. And after the flame had been burning for about a month, I created my first group program. The concept and sales seemed to just happen. Not without effort, of course, but the process didn’t feel as terrifying as it would have before. It felt surprisingly easeful, actually. I approached it from a place of feeling grounded and solid in myself—because I was.

So what are the energy work practices that helped me get to a place of groundedness and ease?

Well, first let’s start with an Energy Work 101.

I take a fairly liberal stance and I consider Energy Work to be an umbrella term. You may have heard of Reiki, or other energy healing modalities, or breathwork. Other practices that I would put under the umbrella include acupuncture, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, some forms of meditation, and even intuitive or psychic work. These practices focus on creating an optimal flow of energy within our energetic fields, either through physically working with the body, as is the case with acupuncture, movement practices, and breathwork, or through the power of conscious intention, as is the case with some intuitive healing practices. The idea with the latter is that we can influence the flow of our vital energy via our intentions, or I what I would term “a combination of a very potent thought and feeling”.

One definition of intuition is “to read energy data in the present moment” (that insight comes from Caroline Myss, a famous Medical Intuitive, if you’re curious). If you’ve ever been to a psychic, what I believe they’re doing is tapping into your energetic field via conscious awareness and reading the “energy data.” This is what I do in my own work and I believe that anyone is capable of doing this. In fact, I think we are constantly reading energy data subconsciously and we’re just not aware of it.

When we set an intention to receive information that will help increase optimal energy flow, we can tap into life experiences that have created energy “gaps” or “blocks” in the energy field. These gaps can influence our physical, mental, and emotional health. However, when we bring conscious awareness to our experiences that have not been processed emotionally (and ultimately, energetically), we are then priming the energy to shift. What’s needed next is to apply compassionate awareness and other energy work practices. In my practice, I work with breath and movement, and train clients in how to work with the energy of compassion to embrace and shift stagnant energies within their systems.

Information that comes up in my sessions also pertains to what a person needs to do in order to get their energy flowing again. Like, for fun.

I realized after several sessions with clients that this was my forte, so to speak. I can see what a client’s artistic and creative aptitudes are, and what they need to do to feel authentically expressed.

You see, hobbies aren’t just hobbies, they’re life-force-amplifiers. Self-expression is soul food. When we express ourselves, we get an energetic enhancement that takes us to the next best thing in life. Our personal passions are like little battery packs, and when we plug in, they give us fuel for life and keep our energy healthy. Engaging with our passions brings out parts of our energy that are ready to be uncovered and amplified.

So anyway, I took a couple months to “tap into” my energy daily, ask what it needed to get flowing, and then I went out and did those things.

This naturally helped my fear subside, and eventually ideas started flowing for programs I wanted to create, funnily enough, by not focusing on my business at all.

If you’re an aspiring or early-stage solopreneur, I highly recommend taking time for yourself first, right at the stage of when you’re brainstorming what you want your business to look like and starting to feel overwhelmed. Because another Energy Work 101 tidbit is that “where attention goes, energy flows,” and if we charge ahead with focusing a ton on our businesses, while shrugging off the fear and self-worth issues that arise, we’re sending a lot of fear-based energy outward into our creations within our business.

If I were to create a list for the steps to take at this stage of solopreneurship, this would be it:

  1. Acknowledge that a transition phase is needed. If you put a lot of financial pressure on your business, fear is going to ramp up in your energy field—which is super no bueno. Either keep your 9-5 for a little longer (while shifting most of your focus on yourself, you probably won’t get in line for a promotion but at least you’ll have an income), or get a part-time job that you might not be thrilled about but will pay bills, or budget for a few months if you have savings. Our financial stability is extremely important for our energetic health.

  2. Learn to cultivate compassionate energy from within. This is the most important step. Practice “Metta” meditations or loving-kindness meditations. These are Buddhist meditations that teach us to send ourselves and others feelings of kindness and open-heartedness. Without our ability to be kind to ourselves, we cannot see our shadows, or the energies that feel uncomfortable. Our subconscious minds have powerful defense mechanisms that will prevent us from becoming aware if we’re wrestling with ourselves. Compassion opens our awareness.

  3. Begin working with your energy daily. Put the biz tasks down. Practice meditations, particularly body scan meditations and learn to sense your personal energy. Where do you feel tension or feelings of unease? Ask these areas of your body what’s needed to help it feel lighter. Do you need to move? Dance? Get into the forest? Breath? Send it love? All of the above?

  4. Acknowledge what you love to do. This can be hard at first, especially when we realize how long we’ve been ignoring our passions. If feelings of guilt or anger arise, work on accepting those emotions with kindness (bring on the Metta meditations!). Then go out and do the things you love. This helps us dance with our fear, by the way. Because at the core, it’s fear that prevented us from doing what we love in the first place. On days when you feel drained, and can’t muster the energy to do what you’re passionate about, again, send yourself kindness and love, even if it’s from the couch watching Netflix.

With enough focused attention on these steps, even after a few weeks, your energy will start to flow again. You’ll feel more creative and joyful, and it will naturally start to bleed into your business. Your business won’t feel like a chore anymore, and if it starts to again, then you know what you need to do to shift out of it.

My journey with solopreneurship taught me invaluable lessons, with the main one being to always focus inward first when life doesn’t feel like it’s flowing, and to give my inner world a ton of compassionate attention.

When we put down expectations, and the perceived external pressure to be successful, we realize the most important thing in life is to know ourselves and to feel authentically expressed. Feeling comfortable and at ease with ourselves is the first step to creating a life well lived, and yes, a thriving business as well.

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  • Julia Truland
  • Dec, 20, 2021

Black Forest Parfait

Black Forest cake is a classic. But in this recipe we’re switching the cake for a chocolatey cookie crumble and serving the luscious cherry compote on top of a big scoop of yogurt. You could make this healthier dessert for breakfast and no one would know the difference (don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone if you do).

This recipe embraces the natural sugars found in the fruit and enhances them with complimentary flavors like the star anise, chocolate, and orange zest. With this, you can have a sweet treat when you want it, without the sugar rush and sour stomach. From a nutritional perspective this dessert also supports balanced hormones and good gut health. You’re fueling your body with probiotics from the yogurt, antioxidants from the chocolate, spices and cherries, and healthy fats from the nuts, butter and yogurt too. Your body won’t be weighed down by a super sugary dessert and your taste buds will not be bored!

Ingredients

3 cup (16 oz) frozen cherries
2 star anise pods
2 tablespoons water
1 cup almond flour
¼ cup hazelnuts, roughly chopped
3 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon coconut sugar
½ teaspoon sea salt
4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut in ½ inch cubes
4 cups plain unsweetened yogurt (Use your favorite dairy or dairy free yogurt. Ex. Siggis, Forager, Coyo, etc.)
1 tablespoon orange zest (optional)

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a prepared baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
  2. To a medium saucepan, add the frozen cherries, water and star anise over medium low heat.Cook the cherries, stirring occasionally until the cherries softens, releases some juices and produces a syrupy compote, about 10-15 minutes. If you’d like you can continue to cook for another 10 minutes to allow the liquid to reduce and create a thicker syrup. Once the mixture is at your desired consistency, remove from heat and set aside.
  3. While the cherries are cooking, in a medium bowl combine almond flour, cocoa powder,
  4. coconut sugar and salt. Add the cold butter to the almond flour mixture and using a fork or your fingers cut the butter into the flour until it resembles coarse sand. The butter should be pea sized bits evenly mixed into the flour.
  5. Evenly spread the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet making sure it spreads out too much to allow the mixture to create some chunks once baked. This means you may only use ½ or ⅓ of the pans surface. Bake on the middle rack for 9-11 minutes until dry and hazelnuts are toasted. Remove from the oven and let cool.
  6. If you are very averse to plain yogurt, mix in orange zest to give some flavor and slightly cut down on the inherent sourness. The cherry compote will add sweetness as well so this step is optional, but adds a wonderful complexity with little effort.
  7. Get 4 cups or bowls to assemble your parfaits. First, scoop half a cup of yogurt into each bowl or cup. Add approximately 3 tablespoons of the cherry compote on top of the yogurt followed by approximately 2 tablespoons of the chocolate crumble mixture. Repeat the steps layering another half a cup of yogurt, followed by another 3 tablespoons of cherry compote and 2 tablespoons of chocolate crumble.
  8. Enjoy immediately! Each component can be stored in separate airtight containers in the refrigerator for 3-5 days. Assemble when you’d like to serve.
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  • Alanna DeSalvo
  • Dec, 15, 2021

How to Become an Active Listener and Why it Matters

When was the last time you listened to someone speak, waited semi-patiently for them to finish, and replied with follow-up questions to learn or to understand more? (You know, vs. jumping in with a story of your own.)

Take a minute or two to think about this interaction. Maybe it was during an online course, a Zoom session for work, or a 1:1 with your boss. A conversation where you had to pay closer attention. Where you had to make an effort to keep your mind from wandering and staying in the present moment for as long as you could.

If it felt more challenging than usual, then you were practicing deep, active listening. Because it is an effort. A conscious effort to devote close attention to what another person is saying, to avoid distractions and to stop yourself from crafting comments in your mind while they are still speaking.

Now, think of a recent conversation with your partner or a close friend in an informal setting. They were sharing something with you and while they seemed to have your undivided attention—with all the nodding and uh-hums—in your mind you were formulating the response to that thing they said. To those words that snagged your attention and sparked a memory that became this story you could not wait to share. A series of unspoken words waiting in line to bounce from the trampoline of your tongue into the packed pool of conversation.

If the above feels based on a true story (join me in the hand raising), then probably without even realizing it—because it’s painstakingly common and we all do it—you were not listening to understand nor to discover. You were listening for your turn to speak. You were waiting to be heard. Because…we all want to be heard.

An Act of Kindness

Have you given any thought to how you show up for others? And when I say ‘others’, I’m not talking about everyone (who has the energy, right?). I mean the people you care about, your loved ones, your people.

And I’m also referring to your everyday interactions. From navigating coffee talks in the morning with a forward gaze, resisting the gravitational pull from your phone to keep scrolling over your next clean beauty purchases (W3ll People anyone?), to turning your face away from the computer screen toward your spouse’s face, for whatever follows “today was awful.”

The way you show up for people who you care about might inevitably reflect on the way they show up for you. And this fast-paced living doesn’t make this self-reflection any easier. It barely allows some of us to pay attention to our own self-talk and to make sense of our own thoughts. Which, by the way, spend most of their time running around like energized toddlers in the playground of our minds.

All judgment aside (hello, humanity and imperfection) the art of active listening is demanding. In any scenario, it requires the full attention and emotional presence capable of taking any of us to the edge of exhaustion. However, with some basic notes to self and a little practice it is possible for anyone to become a more mindful, attentive listener when the moment, the person and the situation calls for it.

The Generosity and Practice of Showing Up for Others

Well, it doesn’t hurt to remember how phenomenal you feel when you have someone else’s complete attention and full presence. When you’re able to speak without interruptions. When the awkward pauses are not filled with a series of haphazard words, but are holding the space for you to continue expressing yourself.

Like everything, it starts with practice. And these are five actions to support you in building up those skills. From that deep talk with your besties, to a relationship housekeeping session with your partner, to that team meeting or feedback session with a colleague.

1. Be Present

Prepare for this interaction. A quick grounding practice like closing your eyes and taking three deep breaths in under a minute might do wonders for your focus. Keep your posture, body language and other non-verbal cues in check and eliminate distractions. Whenever possible disregard your phone, TV, and other devices (be sure to remain conscious that we all have diverse living situations).
 

2. Provide Silence and Space

Give the other person time to process and fully say what’s on their mind. It’s about taking the time to observe, to read between the lines, and to notice the unspoken. It’s not only about not interrupting them mid-speech. And make friends with the uncomfortable, awkward silences—these may prove to be enlightening moments for either of you.

 

3. Provide Acknowledgement and Convey Understanding

Build empathy and connection through the nods, sounds, eye-contact and uh-hums. And if relevant, ask appropriately timed powerful questions. Trust your intuition and the flow of conversation to determine this.

4. Embrace a Beginners Mind

Remember that we tend to see things as we are, not as they are. So, make an effort to quiet your mind, to ask questions or make reflections rather than assuming you know better (from your own biases and experiences). Listen with curiosity and without judgment. I know, easier said than done.

5. Check Your Ego Coat and Bag of Needs at The Door

We’re often inclined to stop listening attentively because the volume of our desire to be heard is too loud. And when you decide to devote your attention to someone other than yourself, you’re touching base with your ego. It’s a challenge that involves reminding ourselves that this moment is all about being present for another person, not about seeking to get our own needs met.

A Note to Self

Remember to practice self-compassion. It’s unlikely you’ll be 100% focused all the time. Your mind will naturally and inevitably wander. And that’s OK, you’re still human. Just start training her to notice the wandering, and to come back.

And take care of your own process. As much as practicing deep listening and showing up for people you care about feeds your soul, or strengthens your purpose to become a better version of yourself (most days)—it’s necessary to find outlets that meet your need to be heard.

It could be via fulfilling conversations with a supportive friend, sessions with your therapist, counselor, or coach (and no, these professions aren’t interchangeable)—or through a creative outlet of some sort. You are the expert on you, and the choice is always yours.

Giving the Gift of Deep Listening

Being aware of the actions we can take to become better listeners and choosing to put them into practice, has the potential to strengthen our most cherished relationships. And developing the habit of active listening, when and with whom you determine, might unexpectedly contribute to your own healing process.

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  • Jit Garcia
  • Dec, 13, 2021

Navigating Not Knowing What to Do with Your Life, and Feeling Fine with It

Career planning class in high school; Our teacher made us go through a pile of different personality tests that we’re supposed to unfold my true calling in life (yes, at 16 years old). I immediately felt this panic taking over my body as I realized I had the classic “Will never truly know what they want to do” personality type. The Myers Briggs, the psychological inventory, the enneagram, the 16 personalities, they were all agreeing; for me, there would be many forks on the road, and it would be chaotic.

It seemed that everyone around me had it figured out—certainly more than me. My anxious brain came to the conclusion that all failures and unhappiness in my life must be directly related to this career thing. It has to be the key to a perfect life right? This feeling lurked in the back of my brain and pitched its tent there for a long time, greatly affecting my self-esteem (and my wallet) as I would try too many different new ventures, studies, and classes without really feeling like doing the work. This would all lead to quickly dissociating and having a negative outlook on life. I would blank when people would ask: What do you do? What do you want to be? What are your skills? I just didn’t have a simple answer, and it made me realize that it is hard to feel whole when all those questions are unanswered.

However, through many nights of crying, panicking over my life, and putting all my personal value into careers, starting a business, or daydreaming of this super cool fictional job where there would be huge windows and monstera plants and cool people with funky glasses that would drink third wave coffee in my brick-walled office, I’ve come to realize through conversations with people who seemed to have those things, that it didn’t fill any of the voids, stress, loneliness, depression, trauma, or grief that life can bring in your life. Even if it takes a lot of work and personal soul-searching, it is crucial to try to find peace and be comfortable with ourselves even in seasons of uncertainty—when we do not have much going on.

I started to ask myself questions like:
Do I love my friends and loved ones because of their jobs?
Do I really believe one needs to make money out of a passion for it to be valid?
Does one’s personal value shift to nothing past their 9 to 5?

Once I checked the “no” box to all those questions, I realized that none of these statements reflected my personal values—and from conversations with many humans I believe I am not alone in this situation.

Overtime, I have met a couple people like me who also can’t define themselves and are still starting to figure out what they want to do with their life. A metaphor that illustrates this well is the piece of a puzzle that is only one plain color on a very complex Monet painting. Some pieces seem really easy to place as they appear to have a clear design, something noticeable, a specific quality, a connection with another one. However the whole picture would never be complete without all components and the complexity and beauty of an image is attributed to all its pieces whether they are easy or hard to place.

At the end, our natural desire to anchor in our identity and find who we truly are is a perfectly normal and very intrinsec force in our life and we all link it to our own things and patterns. We all actualize ourselves in various ways. It is of the most importance however, to be able to meet yourself where you are, to sit down in the chaos, take a deep breath and be fine with not really knowing in the moment.

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  • Roxanne Henri
  • Dec, 02, 2021

What to Look for in a Non-Toxic Christmas Tree

I promise I’m not trying to be the grinch here, but when it comes to creating a healthy non-toxic home it doesn’t stop during the holidays! Christmas trees (Artificial and Real) both pose certain positive and negative attributes when it comes to a safe, healthy home.

Real Christmas Trees

Pros

  • Has the scent of Christmas.

  • Better for the environment than artificial trees.

Cons

  • You can bring unwanted mold spores into the home.

  • Sap and pollen can also cause allergic reactions (when considering cutting a tree down in the forest).

  • If it’s not organic, it might be covered in pesticides from the farm.

What You can Do

  • Spray the tree down with a hose, EC3 (mold solution), and let it dry in the sun before bringing it into the house.

  • Buy an organic tree to avoid pesticides, this still doesn’t help with the mold issue.

  • Run an air purifier in the house near the tree to keep the air clean in that area.

  • Opt for a smaller tree and only keep the tree in the home for 4-7 days max to minimize mold growth and exposure.

Artificial Christmas Trees

Pros

  • Less risk for mold and allergies.

  • Easy to buy once and have for years to come.

Cons

  • They contain toxins like PVC (Polyvinyl Chloride), lead, phthalates, and flame retardants. These chemicals can offgas, meaning the chemical is reactive in normal temperatures and turns to a gas that infiltrates our indoor air and we inhale the toxins and they can release SVOCs which are heavier than VOCs and end up as particulate in our dust that we then run the risk of ingesting or absorbing through our skin.

  • Many PVC trees have been replaced with PET, and PEVA, but these are still not great for the environment.

  • It can be REALLY hard to find a toxin-free Christmas tree. There’s not a lot of companies thinking about this.

  • They can get really dusty when you store them, this can also cause allergies and mold spores can live in our dust.

  • These chemicals can cause endocrine disruption and specifically thyroid issues. Phthalates are also known as “forever chemicals” because they stick around in our system and don’t break down.

What You can Do

  • Look for more realistic, artificial trees. This is how you can tell the tree hasn’t been made with PVC.

  • Wipe down your tree really well with soap and water every year to clean off any dust build up and wipe down any SVOCs that might have degraded over the last year in storage.

  • Make sure you’re storing it in a climate controlled area in an airtight container, not cardboard. The cardboard runs the risk of growing mold which can contaminate the tree.

  • Run an air purifier in the house near the tree to keep the air clean in that area.

  • Keep your home clean to limit the amount of SVOCs in your dust.

  • Wash your hands after handling the tree to make sure you’re not absorbing any of the toxins through your skin or touching your mouth and accidentally ingesting them.

  • Buy a tree from IKEA or look for a PVC free tree. If you want to avoid toxins altogether, you might even consider an “alternative tree.” When googled, you can find some amazing DIY ideas for Alternative Christmas Trees.

  • Use a good cleaner, like Force of Nature Clean to wipe down and disinfect your tree, you can use code ‘Bundlesave30’ in December to save 30% off bundles.

Now, this doesn’t mean your Christmas tree is going to cause you issues! This is just to note that there are risks with both real and fake trees when we’re considering making swaps to a more non-toxic living space. 

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  • Ashley Spanovich
  • Dec, 01, 2021

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Create the Life You Desire

We all have the ability to live our dreams. We must simply ask, believe, and respond with appropriate action. When you’re positioning yourself to be aligned with your desired dream or outcome, it can admittedly feel like a chore to get enough rest, stay healthy, keep up with your personal hygiene and self-care. It can be easy to go into a slump where going to the gym, eating your vegetables, meditating, or changing out of you pajamas just doesn’t seem appetizing. And if you’re dealing with chronic illness, autoimmune disease, or any long-term symptoms, it can be tempting to let your normal routines fall to the wayside in exchange for something that feels easier.

If you’re currently dealing w that a deeper awareness of our desires is the first step to change. When you practice awareness, you have the capacity to choose. When you become fully aware of how you think and react in life’s situations, you do not react mindlessly or automatically. You can consciously control what was once unconscious, and become a better, truer version of ourselves.

I am also a big believer in finding motivation by focusing on the dream, desire, or goal you are moving towards.

At this point, I maintain my healthy practices (most of the time) because I know that my health supports me in experiencing the kind of life that I want to live. I want to have good energy, be able to focus and do meaningful, enlightening work, feel comfortable and happy in my body, as well as be able to connect with others and have fun while having a positive impact on the world around me. I want to sail as smoothly as possible through life, and I want to stay healthy and active far into the future too.

In short, I want to live it up for as long as I can while having nothing stopping me from having the life of my dreams.

Decide What You Want Out of Life

One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail.

For instance, what does freedom, expansion and joy look like to you? Not everybody’s definition is the same, nor should it be.

I regularly remind my clients that a deeper awareness of your desires is the first step to change. Because when you practice awareness, you have the capacity to choose. When you become fully aware of how you think and react in life’s situations, you do not react mindlessly or automatically. You can consciously control what was once unconscious, and become a better, truer version of yourself.

When you take the time to meditate regularly, you connect in and increase the awareness of your desires and the intentions you send out into the world. You can observe your patterns of behavior that may be inhibiting, shutting you down, or limiting you from what you truly desire without judgement.

It is also through your connection to the divine that your greater inner awakening and deeper awareness is found—as meditation is at the root of all personal transformation. In addition, your spiritual enlightenment accelerates your ability to learn how to consciously ask for something more, or different, simply because your deep knowing tells you that you are deeply loved, supported and worthy of asking. Through your connection with the divine, you can recognize that you have the opportunity to consciously create anything within this 3rd dimensional world, as the powerful and infinite creator that you are.

Start to Envision that Your Life is Already How You Want it to Be

Most people don’t always fully realize that you have the ability to co-create your life with the universe. So many of us are taught to accept what you are given and not even to dream of anything more. But our hopes and dreams are the universe whispering to us, planting an idea of what’s possible while directing us toward the best use of your gifts. The universe truly wants to give you your heart’s desires, but you need to be clear about what those desires are, and actually ask for them.

To ask for something does not mean to beg or plead from a place of lack or unworthiness. It’s like placing an order—you don’t need to beg the salesperson for what you want or prove to them that you deserve to have it. It is their job to give you what you ask for; you only have to tell them what you want. Once you have a clear vision of what you desire, you simply step into the silent realm where all possibilities exist and let your desires be known. Whatever methods you use to become still, it is important that you find the quiet space between your thoughts.

From that still and quiet place, you can announce your intentions to the pure energy of creation. By imagining all the details from every angle, including scent, color, and how it would feel to have it, we design our dreams to our specifications. Similar to dropping a pebble into a pond, the ripples created by our thoughts travel quickly from this place of stillness, echoing out into the world to align and orchestrate all the necessary details to bring your desires into manifestation. Before leaving this wonderful space to come back to the world, release any attachment to the outcome and express gratitude. By doing this daily, you focus your thoughts and your energy while regularly mingling with the essence that makes it possible to build the life of your dreams.

Are you ready to live the life you deserve? From material abundance to the abundance of love, you can attract everything you desire.

Become Goal-Oriented

As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen.

You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve it. To engage your subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable.

Long-term goals refer to those dreams you hold in your heart. They begin as aspirations and whispers of hope, but they become real when you decide to take action. Long-term goals can relate to your career, like starting a business or changing your profession. You may seek out financial goals like buying a house or paying for your child’s education. Perhaps you have personal aspirations in mind like traveling the world or becoming a mentor. They may seem out of reach at first, but with time, effort, and planning, we can achieve them. Break down long-term goals into tangible, baby steps: You need to know what specific steps to take each day, week, and month to achieve your goals.

Let Go of Your Past

Much of the struggle you experience in life situations comes from the limited way you are focusing on them. It is your current viewpoint from your past experiences, rather than any other factor, that gives you the illusion that a problem is insurmountable.

So it is with life situations, which are ill-defined and can have multiple meanings depending on your perspective. Two people may suffer from the same circumstance—the loss of a job or illness—yet one sees it as a challenge, whereas the other sees it as the end of his or her world and can never move on. See the difference?

Release Your Fears

Don’t let your fear get in the way just because you’re not sure what change will bring, and don’t be complacent because you’re comfortable with your life—even though you know you can do better. When you choose to create the life you want, it means letting go of what no longer serves you—toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs, unhealthy lifestyles.

When change happens, it can seem like the end of a chapter in a book. As you enter into a new chapter, the transition often feels confusing, uncertain, or even scary. It takes time to find your way. You have to learn how to build resilience to stay strong during these difficult times. Knowing how to manage this middle period will help you navigate through a confusing transition.

If you feel like you’ve been having these thoughts lately and you’re not really sure how to take the next steps to better your life, please reach out to a friend, family member, therapist, life coach, or anyone else who may be supportive of you.

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  • Andrea Firpo
  • Dec, 01, 2021

Manifestation Made Easy

It is the manifestation mindset that allows you to attract what you deeply desire. To experience such magic—with you as the magician—you need to loosen the grip on your wand and live in the frequency of knowing all you want will flow to you.

Manifestation focuses your brain and your body so that it enters a state of envisioning and embodiment. Here are the following steps to make you an energetic match for what you want:

  1. Focus on THE WHAT and not the how

    What is it you want to feel or what it is you want to receive? It could be wanting to feel at ease or in tune. It could also be you wanting a luxury sedan or a top position in your profession. Check in with yourself to come up with the answer to what it is you want; on second thought, it might be at the center of your thinking. Whatever comes through and gives you all the feels is “the what.” Give yourself permission to want what you want!

  2. VISUALIZE what you want to call in

    See what it is you want—in your mind’s eye and with your alert eyes. Close your eyes and create the mental picture in your all knowing third eye. Then, pay attention to what it looks like in the physical world. Be clear and specific, incorporating all five senses might aid in this visualization. If the vivid vision process is a bit of a challenge, you might choose to write out exactly what you are attracting and then post it somewhere for you to visually read and take in.

  3. FEEL the energy of what you want as if it is already yours

    Believe you deserve it and act like you have it—even walk and talk like it’s already yours. This is embodying what you want; taking it to the level where you feel the connective energy through the sensations in your body as well as all around you. It starts within and it presents itself in the outer world.

  4. Express GRATITUDE for what it is you are calling in—again, as if it’s already yours

    Say thank you for it. Thank you for {insert what it is you’re calling in}. Show love and appreciation for it like it’s yours and you couldn’t be more grateful to receive it and have it.

  5. Take INSPIRED ACTION to make it happen

    What can you implement in your life that takes little steps to receive what it is you want? Heck, what can you do to take a big leap? Action breeds results. Be intentional about what you do as you move toward having what will be yours. Our intentions are so incredibly powerful and life will show up and mold around them.

  6. DETACH from it and trust that you and the universe support your reality

    There’s just one last thing to do: release and don’t hold on too tightly. We sometimes get caught up in the how rather than the desire itself. We don’t always need to know how it will happen, just that it will. Loosen up the grip, and believe that your intentions and the universe are conspiring for the very best outcome for you. That it’s yours… already.

There’s just one last thing to do: release and don’t hold on too tightly. We sometimes get caught up in the how rather than the desire itself. We don’t always need to know how it will happen, just that it will. Loosen up the grip, and believe that your intentions and the universe are conspiring for the very best outcome for you. That it’s yours… already.

You will manifest with ease. You are tasked with the above plan of action, so go ahead and step into the manifestation portal. Use your mind for the greater good of making your dreams your reality—like my guy did with his current job and like my daughter did with getting into her #1 school.

In the short-term (say 3- to 6-months), think about what you want and specifically walk yourself through steps 1–6. Then, consider doing it again for your long-term (3- to 5-year) desires. Years from now, what are your current circumstances and what is your current lifestyle?

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  • Lisa Desberg
  • Nov, 30, 2021

9 Ways to Create Your Own Sacred Ritual

For years, even decades now, you’ve heard that establishing morning routines can make you happier, more productive, and reduce your stress. You’ve likely seen studies, read articles, and heard your friends rave about their 10-minute practice that has just changed their life. You set out to follow the routine they told you is foolproof, but after a week of trying, you’ve fallen back to your old habits. You begin to wonder why we can’t seem to get into a morning routine schedule that half the world follows, and if you’ll ever follow a meditation or morning workout ourselves.

What if I told you routines aren’t meant for everyone? Creating your own rituals are individual for YOU. What your sister or friend do, may not work for you. Some people are energetically designed to thrive on routine, and some people thrive on taking things day by day. Your individual needs are so unique to you, and the first step to creating a sacred ritual is tuning into your needs and what you are craving. Yes, you heard me right! You have permission to wake up and decide what your morning looks like, in the moment. Do you feel lighter already

I personally thought I needed to create a morning and evening routine for most of my 20s. I didn’t understand why they didn’t stick, why they were always changing, and why I always ‘fell off’ my habits. It wasn’t until I understood my Human Design type, which is an amazing tool I highly recommend! I learned my arrow pointed towards a non-routine lifestyle. Learning this gave me the permission slip I needed to start checking in with myself to see what I wanted and needed in the moment, rather than planning everything out days or weeks in advance.

For those who have found a rhythm in their routines and rituals and are thriving, more power to you. May this serve as a reminder it’s okay to change your mind, take a break, or try something new! For those who are trying to find their groove, here are some ways I’ve started to fall in love with rituals that feel good in my soul and feel sacred.

Sacred rituals can look different everyday, they can happen when you first wake up, or at 1:00pm. When you choose to connect to yourself, there are no rules.

9 Rituals to Consider Starting for Yourself

  1. There are no rules. That’s rule number one. It’s about what feels good for you. What feels good? What are you craving? What tools would feel good to nourish yourself today? Close your eyes and let your intuition and gut guide you.

  2. Smoke cleanse to clear the space. Use sustainable palo santo, sage, frankincense, or your favorite incense. Clear your space to clear your mind before starting your day or to clear the energy mid day.

  3. Grab your favorite tarot or oracle card deck and pull a card to receive guidance. Meditate on the image before reading the guidebook. How does it make you feel? After reading the guidebook, journal about what came up for you.

  4. Tap into some intuitive movement or rest. Does your body want to move or rest today? Give it what it needs. Go for a walk, do some yoga, head to a class, or take a break.

  5. Drop out of your head and into your body. Meditate, visualize or breathe. Do a guided exercise or your own practice.

  6. Ask yourself how you’re feeling. Journal about what comes up and what feeling is present. Allow yourself to free-write.

  7. Set an intention for the day or evening. How do you want to feel? What action can you take to bring that into your day?

  8. What is on your mind? Take a few minutes to write down the 3 things you feel are most important to do today. Acknowledge them and then come back to another item on this list if it feels good.

  9. Spend a few moments practicing gratitude. What are you grateful for? Feel into this gratitude, then write 3 items down. If it’s a person, let them know and acknowledge them.

Rituals become sacred by the intention we put behind them. Take some time out of your day to make an intentional choice that feels good for you. Pick something that feels aligned from this list, or another tool that your soul is craving. Remember, everyday can look and feel different. That’s what makes the human experience so beautiful.

What are some of your favorite sacred rituals? Share with us below!

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  • Alexa Sharwell
  • Nov, 23, 2021
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