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How To Get Unstuck Emotionally And Mentally

This period of time in history is full of challenges for all of humanity. The landscape of the world as we know it has been turned on its head sideways, and as we begin to peer out from this altered perspective, we immediately see with visual acuity all that we need to change about ourselves, and about our environment.

So please be careful with one another. Be careful with yourself. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the process and the collective growing pains. Remind yourself regularly—you are not being singled out and you are definitely not alone in all of this. Each of us holds a grain of sand in our very capable hands to once again rebuild Fantastica.

Explore Your Purpose

Old paradigms have shifted and shattered. Our Ivory Tower may have fallen. We sit quietly in the stillness just before the sunrise, like the phoenix listening to the wind blow. Laying in the smoldering ashes, crumble and rubble, just before taking flight again lighting up the dark, early morning sky. We remind ourselves that all is not for naught.

Due to our current and very intense surroundings, it can be incredibly challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith, especially when we are in the midst of such difficulties. In our evolution, we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of continuous positive circumstances. One, right after the other. When in actuality, we continue to evolve into higher states of awareness of our true capacity and potential.

Like a child, the universe is gentle and lovingly coercing us to choose more for ourselves while we are here, reminding us of our soul contracts with others, and to be better versions of ourselves always. The universe is our wise mother who knows what our soul needs in order to thrive, better than we could possibly imagine for ourselves in this lifetime. The universe knows why we came, and assists us to remember too.

Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants immediately, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved and guided even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.

If we continue to meditate and keep our connection with our angels, ancestors, and galactic guides of light, you’ll know they are directing and guiding us every step of the way. To receive their guidance, direction or information, we need to check in and ask for what we need. Through our meditation, we continue to keep our connection without getting lost in the struggle of this third dimensional reality.

Let Go Of The Past

It also helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that these difficult times will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.

At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it’s never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some immediate changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty that stands in your way every day. How could things become simpler? What are you still gripping onto that needs to fall away? How could you relieve your frustrations and help alleviate your pains? What are you resisting, and willing to give up for such freedom?

It’s important to take stock of what is going on and find out if there is something we are doing or not doing that is keeping us stuck. Sometimes the situation is out of our control, and we need to look within to find the patience required to wait with equanimity until things move forward again. Many times, though, we can find the source of our stagnation in our own hearts and minds. Sometimes we are clinging to old ideas about reality and we need to make adjustments that will bring us back in tune with life, so we can flow again. Sometimes we find that fear of change is what’s keeping us stuck, and we can resolve to find ways of facing that fear.

Gently and compassionately explore the areas which give you the most trouble. May this intentionality reveal things that you have been holding onto and need to release, such as: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or your reality.

If introspection does not provide the answers you need, it can sometimes be helpful to ask those around you if they notice anything obvious that you might not be able to see. Remember to ask someone whom you can trust to be kind and sensitive as well as honest. Try to let go of your resistance because whenever there is something we can’t see ourselves, it’s because we don’t want to see it. Try to listen with an open mind, and remember that you are always the final judge of what you need. Anything offered to us from an outside source will need to be processed and integrated before its wisdom can take hold.

As you begin to take responsibility for the things you can change, and choose differently, you begin to create a paradigm shift in your life. Open your hands and your heart and begin asking and reaching for the things you really want. You will more easily surrender to things you cannot change, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another transition of time. Keep in perspective that you may be at the bottom of the ferris wheel right now, but you will eventually roll up to the top, with that gorgeous and amazing view you’ve been working so hard towards, spilled out before you. Don’t give up until you do.

Change Your Perspective

In order to move forward and make progress towards your most abundant life, you have to get out of your own way and allow yourself to let it happen.

The first step in allowing yourself to thrive is releasing yourself from the feeling of being stuck. When you feel stuck, you hurt your chances of succeeding by mentally stopping yourself from taking the steps towards progress.

And since the feeling of stuckness is so ingrained in your thinking, you may not even know that you are your own reason for not making progress. This causes resentment towards other parts of your life, and growing resentment towards yourself and the thing you’re trying to achieve

Start With Small Changes

It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that this is a common problem with most people. When we feel stuck, it can be helpful to let go of our resistance to the change that wants to come forth. You may be committing self-sabotage, fear-led decisions, and taking actions to simply survive and not thrive without even knowing it.

In all this, be kind to yourself and remember that we all get stuck sometimes. Think of it as a part of your process, a necessary step on your journey, rather than as a problem that shouldn’t be happening. This can help to keep your frustration at bay and give you the space you need to take a deep breath and really figure out what’s going on.

So many of the people I see in my practice get “stuck” at some point…stuck in a pattern, a habit, a coping mechanism that isn’t helping them, in a routine, in an unhappy relationship, in a place, in a job they dislike, in a way of thinking, etc. In fact, everyone gets “stuck” in something at some point in life. It can be during a transitional phase or during a time when we are feeling emotionally low or more isolated than usual. It is digging out of the hole we created for ourselves and getting “unstuck” that is the challenge for people when this occurs. Why can it be so difficult to make new, positive changes stick when we are in a rut?

Effective Change Takes Time

One conflict is time. It takes time to allow for or to create change. In order to have the discipline, patience, and focus, as we start on a path towards positive change, it takes more time than we might be used to in this age of immediate gratification and lightning fast technology. We have to learn to slow down a bit and make the time we need to in a realistic way for the necessary changes to happen in our lives. We must not be discouraged if our progress is steady, but at more of a snail’s pace than we’d hoped.

Stop Perpetuating The Blame

Another issue I frequently observe is that many people don’t feel truly worthy of positive and healthy changes in their lives. They hold grudges against and judge themselves, thinking that they must continue to struggle and suffer as a sort of “penance” for the prior mistakes they have made in their lives, as if they are not deserving of happiness. The reality is everyone deserves to be healthy and happy. Everyone is worthy of self-love and love from others. We must learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, to stop judging ourselves and running negative “tapes” in our heads, and to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. This is the truest way to be healthier, happier, and more fulfilled in our lives permanently.

Take Breaks When Necessary

Another thing that seems to sabotage a lot of people’s progress is that they set their goals way too high all at once in the beginning and/or lose patience at the amount of progress they are making slowly over time with such aggressive goals. When, in reality, we have to understand that making small steps in progress toward our overall goal a little bit at a time. It is also important to be “real” with ourselves and set goals we know we will be committed to and will be able to attain, even if it means asking for additional help and support, or taking more time if we need it. We can’t expect everything to go our way or to happen overnight. So, hoping for the best, while simultaneously being prepared for challenges that we may need to face, and also being patient and gentle with ourselves, is a great way to approach any type of change.

Be Patient With Your Progress

Some people are ashamed when they don’t make the immediate progress that they hoped to achieve, and so they begin to lie or gloss over the truth, with themselves or others, which means they reach a dangerous place of living in denial. This form of escape can actually set you back further away from your intended goals, create more problems that you will need to deal with later anyway, and cause new, unhealthy habits you didn’t ever expect to occur. Honesty with yourself and others is the best policy when approaching change. It may be difficult to be honest at first, as the truth can hurt or be scary. But, in the long run, honesty makes everything so much easier and simpler, especially when you are also willing to take responsibility for and own the negative or unhealthy thoughts and behaviors you created in your life.

Dig Emotionally Deep

Stop playing the role of victim and look at what you have done to create and live in your own situation. Sure, other people may also be accountable on some level. But, if you have chosen to continue to hide from or escape the truth of what part you have played in your current situation, you have hurt yourself and may even be enabling the negative/unhealthy habits of those around you.

Focus On Your Own Changes

Remember, you unfortunately can’t change anyone else or force someone to change out of unhealthy thought patterns or behaviors against his or her will. Just like you, everyone else only makes healthy changes when fully ready to do so. We can’t nag or control/manipulate anyone else into thinking or processing the way that we do or into treating himself/herself better. Just because you are making these transformations for the better in your own life, don’t expect everyone else to do so. It is a bonus if your efforts and progress inspire someone else. But, we can’t force change on anyone. So, we must accept and love others as they are, respecting their choices, while simultaneously honoring ourselves and our own needs.

You may want to ask yourself some important questions both before you begin to make healthy changes in your life. Here are a few to get you thinking and working things out mentally and emotionally before you take action:

  • Why do I want to change? Am I doing this for myself, others or both?

  • What might be the long term benefits of these changes? How about the short term benefits?

  • Will this make my life healthier and happier?

  • Who can I turn to when I need support while I am making these changes?

  • If I get scared/uncomfortable or if old feelings/habits sneak up when positive changes start to happen in my life, what will I use as a strategy to cope with these feelings/actions in a healthier way than I used to? (In other words, come up with a healthy habit here to replace an old, unhealthy habit.)

  • What strengths do I already have that I can rely on while I am making these changes? What are the things I already like or love about myself?

  • If I start to feel unworthy or judgemental of myself during this process, what can I do or tell myself to help stop it before it sabotages my progress towards happiness?

  • Do I have any role models/mentors that I can aspire to and learn from who have made these types of changes in their own lives? What can those people teach me?

  • What is a reasonable and realistic time frame for me to reach my first small goal in these changes?

  • How can I reward myself (not with food or alcohol/drugs/tobacco, etc….but with something healthy that encourages the good habit to continue) when I reach my first small goal?

  • How much time can I realistically spend on these changes every day?

  • What are some of the things, like thought patterns, behaviors, people, situations, etc., that I need to let go of in order to help these positive changes happen?

Change usually takes time. Just to change and replace one unhealthy habit into a new, healthy habit, can take over a month of effort of repetition before it sticks with you. Don’t get discouraged…and if you do, make sure you created a back-up plan for yourself, so you don’t slide back into those old habits and patterns on a bad day.

The more positive support and encouragement you have with yourself through this process, the more successful you will become. It can also help to speak with a trusted friend, therapist or healer, or even find a support group to help you through the transition and fear that often accompanies big change. A support system can help you to succeed and reach your goals, even when there are bumps in the road along the way.

Being emotionally unstuck comes down to taking action and holding yourself more responsible for what you do. Take all the time you need to get unstuck. This is all part of your journey for more soul expansion, growth and freedom.

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  • Andrea Firpo
  • Sep, 21, 2021

The Margarita Morning

I stood at the kitchen sink with a mint-green Yeti mug in my hand. I had intended to pour out the remnants found within, but found myself frozen in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable situation. I was internally fighting the urge to drink it.

‘It’ being a leftover margarita from the night before.

Did I mention that it was also 8:30 in the morning?

Good moms don’t drink alcohol at 8:30 in the morning, I told myself. Especially when there are zero plans for any kind of neighborhood festivities or parades or any other normal excuse for drinking.

Another part of myself whispered silently, But it smells good and it tastes good. Plus, I am so fun when I drink! The kids will probably like me more if I drink this.

The pull is strong. I can almost feel my shoulders relax with the thought of drinking it.

And no one would have to know…

Nope, Brandi, don’t drink this, my rational mind again urges. Alcoholics drink secret margaritas at 8:30 in the morning on a seemingly normal Sunday. You are not an alcoholic.

I inhaled sharply at that last statement.

Was I an alcoholic? This situation certainly did not seem to bode well for my future with alcohol.

I pieced together the previous evening. My husband and I had been drinking at our neighbor’s house. I had taken our three children over there before my husband, Brandon, had gotten home from work. I was half tuned-up by the time he arrived.

I continued to drink after he got there. My friend, Tay, and I always had a great time talking about life and found countless reasons to laugh. It had been a fun evening. I probably had had at least 4 margaritas and 2 or 3 White Claws in total.

I think I had supported myself with the stroller as we walked home. Our sons were 7 and 5, our daughter was 2. I had asked my husband to carry our daughter upstairs while I fumbled through the boys’ bedtime routine. Quick snack and vitamins, brush teeth and bed. Then tried not to pass out on the floor of their room.

I had woken up in bed that morning, not entirely sure of how I had gotten down the stairs. Things were hazy and my head had been hurting but I was, embarrassingly, surprised I did not feel worse.

Looking further back, I realized I had been buzzed, if not drunk, at least three other days that week. I worked part time and had started drinking on the evenings before my days off. We typically drank with our neighbors every weekend, one or two nights. Four houses took turns hosting, the kids would play while the adults would drink.

It was not uncommon for me to black out a couple times per month, but at the time it did not seem like a big deal. Sometimes one of our neighbors would puke after a get-together. I had not puked in years. Although maybe it would have prevented some of the brutal hangovers I had been experiencing, I thought.

Am I an alcoholic? I wondered again, concerned. Maybe I can just drink one or two instead of 5, or 6, or more.

Now you’re lying to yourself. You know you can never stop after one or two, the snarky inner voice reminded me.

“Hey, what are you doing?” My husband asked, pulling me back to the present moment.

I dumped out the margarita before I could change my mind.

“Just doing some dishes,” I replied, keeping that internal assessment to myself.

“Okay, we should be leaving soon.” He responded.

I looked at him in confusion.

“Rome’s football game.”

“Oh, right. Okay. I’ll finish this and get ready.” I said and smiled at him

Thank God I had poured that margarita out, I thought. It was Saturday. I did not need to be buzzing at my kid’s football game on a Saturday at 9am.

After the frenzy of getting the whole family ready and loaded in the minivan, we took the short drive to the field. My dad was meeting us there. My mom was out of town.

My dad is what I consider a functional alcoholic. For as long as I could remember, he drank every day. The only exception had been when he was on parole for one of his DUIs when I was in high school. I figured if anyone could understand what had happened that morning, it would be him.

My son was only 7, which meant he played flag football. There were no bleachers around the fields, so the spectators were spread out on the sidelines. With my husband coaching and my two younger kids running around on an open field, I took a deep breath and started the conversation that I had been both dreading and looking forward to. Maybe this would make me feel better. Maybe he would tell me it was fine, that I was fine, and that I didn’t need to worry.

“Dad,” I said.

He looked up and furrowed his brow when he noticed the serious tone, “Yeah, honey.”

“So. I know you have had some issues with alcohol. But do you feel like you can control it?”

His eyes opened a little wider. I had surprised him with the topic.

He answered with a question, “What do you mean?”

I explained what had happened that morning with the leftover margarita, how difficult it had been to fight the urge to drink it.

He tried to hide his shock. “Whoa.” He paused. “No. I have never had that happen.”

“Oh.” I said, feeling ashamed and stunned. “I guess I need to be careful then.”

“I guess so,” he replied and turned his eyes back to the football field.

Shit, I thought. That certainly did not go how I thought it was going to. I had come to him looking for wisdom and all I did was freak him out. Shit.

Now I knew. I was losing control of drinking, or perhaps had already lost control. I was worried about the impact I could be having on my kids now that they were older and observing my slurred speech and occasional stumbling. I had some less than glamorous memories of my dad’s drinking as a child, and as an adult.

I wanted to change this path I was on but how could I do that? And was I strong enough to change when I lived in a neighborhood that bonded over alcohol? I wondered.

Probably, but I would need a plan. And some backbone to see it through.

Read the follow up article here.

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  • Brandi Johnson
  • Sep, 16, 2021

5 Steps to Get Your Self-Compassion Flowing

The ‘all or nothing’ approach tends to leave us closer to the ‘nothing’ than to the ‘all’, and in my experience, alienates self-compassion.

Let me paint a picture. It’s Sunday night—11:50pm to be precise. And you’re still awake (your plan was to be in bed two hours earlier). Now, you’re hoping that when the alarm goes off at 5:30am you’ll wake up energized and twirl your way to the mat in one gymnastic-style jump. Fast forward five hours and Monday makes its triumphant entrance with an alarm ringing at 5:30am sharp. You open your eyes, try to lift your body half-way up pressing your hands to the mattress, and as you’re almost in an upright position, hesitation kicks in.

Within a few seconds you voluntarily disregard any positive outcome from waking up this early (while also disregarding the commitment to yourself of getting back into that morning routine you love so much), and your head finds its way back to the pillow.

After snoozing the alarm for over an hour (it happens to the best of us) you’re left with 15 minutes to dedicate to yoga, reading, or anything else on your morning ritual list. Because by 8:00am, you need to Zoom into work—and before then, there’s coffee to drink, kids to wake up, pets to walk, and so on.

Enter the All or Nothing Approach

The inner debate begins: To use your 15 minutes wisely or to do nothing. Weighing in all options, you decide to do nothing now, because you honestly believe you can do everything later.

Your reasoning goes something like this: “Only 15 minutes? Not good enough. After work I’ll roll out my mat and do some yoga, some meditation, and then I’ll read a chapter of that book.” (If you ask me, 15 minutes will always kick 0 minutes’ butt.)

It’s 6:45pm and you just closed your laptop. Now it’s time to do everything you said you’d do, and—plot twist—you’re exhausted. This Monday beat you up, and evidently the only thing you want to do on your mat right now is lie down. With a blanket. And a sleep mask.

But you don’t. Instead, you badger yourself for wasting another day, for being lazy, for lacking discipline—neglecting everything else your amazing self got done today. While consciously or unconsciously feeding self-pity vs. giving yourself a break, lying down, and trying again tomorrow. And that’s the heartbreaking part. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Enter Mindful Self-Compassion

I dare to say that many of us have adopted the habit of over compromising our available time and energy to the extent of depletion. Overbooking our calendar in favor of productivity (however that looks like for you) and failing to factor in our basic needs (and, the unexpected—because life), can inevitably lead to disappointment and self-judgement.

Setting unrealistic expectations of what we can accomplish in any given day or time slot, makes us prone to dismiss our little wins, to focus on all that we didn’t achieve and to engage in negative self-talk. The type that highlights (and blames it on) everything we dislike about ourselves. In my experience, this happens because I tend to forget that I’m only human, that I get tired, that I will make mistakes, and that no one is chasing me with a perfection stamp to validate my worth.

Honoring the work in progress that I am, I keep reading, listening, and therapy-ing my way into a more sustainable and realistic way of living. Or balance – call it what you prefer. All in the hopes of breaking patterns that don’t serve me anymore.
 
On this path to self-discovery, I learned about Dr. Kristin Neff, a developmental psychologist who pioneered the research on self-compassion and is one of the world’s leading experts on the subject. And I must confess, that after a quick Google search I was devouring all content on self-compassion.org. In collaboration with her colleague, clinical psychologist Dr. Chris Germer, Neff developed an eight-week training on Mindful Self-Compassion.

In its simplest form, self-compassion is all about treating yourself as you would treat a friend who is going through a tough time. She might have forgotten to press the mute button in a zoom call while blurting out an honest (yet not public) opinion, gotten ridiculously drunk at happy hour, said something horrible to her kids, or is simply going through a shitty situation in her life – like you, from time to time.

And mindful self-compassion (MSC) is a mix of mindfulness and self-compassion, which provides a valuable tool for emotional resilience. According to Dr. Neff’s website, randomized controlled trials have demonstrated that MSC considerably increases self-compassion, compassion for others, mindfulness, and life satisfaction. It also mentions that MSC has demonstrated a decrease in depression, anxiety, and stress.
 
In short and in my experience, mindfulness allows you to feel the feels without resistance, while self-compassion makes sure you’re kind to yourself while feeling them. It helps lower the noise of self-judgement and can potentially help you become your number one fan vs. your number one critic. And in case you were wondering: Self-compassion is not self-pity. Self-compassionate people understand that, from time to time, life is hard for everyone, not just for them.

Five Actions to Potentially Boost Your Self-Compassion

Not only reading can get you thinking about being more kind to yourself. Yes, that’s already a major win, however, if you’re up to it, I deeply encourage you to grab a pen and a notebook (or open the notes app in your phone—you do you) and let’s get started, shall we?

  1. Remember that Struggling Friend. Think about a time when you supported a friend, or someone close to you who you truly care about. The one who forgot to press the mute button on that zoom call, or the one who sent the wrong text to the wrong group chat. Or the one who went through a tough time at work. Most of us can relate to a best friend messing up, being deep in that shame spiral and you being there with her – trying to bring in some perspective. How did you react? How did you talk to her (you, being at your best)? Write down what you did, or said, and pay attention to the tone in which you talked to your friend.

  2. Hold Up that Mirror. Now, remember a time where you felt inadequate, when you were going through a difficult period at work, or in your personal life. And when the volume of that negative self-talk was maxed out. In as many words as you want to share, write down how you reacted (or tend to react), how you treated yourself, and pay close attention to the tone in which you talked to yourself.

  3. Compare and Contrast. Did you notice any difference int the way you responded to your crisis vs. the way you responded to your friend’s? If so, ask yourself why. Which factors get you treating yourself so differently from the way you treat others you care about?

  4. Imagine Change. Grab that pen again and write down how you imagine things could change if when you are having a really hard time, you treated yourself with the same kindness as you’d treat a close friend.

  5. Keep this in Mind. Next time you face a challenge at work, in life, big or small (anything that makes you feel ashamed, that makes you doubt of all that you are capable of), try to acknowledge that you’re going through a difficult situation, try to shift your negative inner narrative, dare to extend your kindness and compassion to yourself – and see what happens.

Common Humanity: A Friendly Reminder

A key component of mindful self-compassion is common humanity. The fact that everyone faces hardship at some point in their lives. Reminding yourself that you are not alone, that you are human and imperfect, has the potential to grant you the perspective you need for self-compassion to become the rule in your life, not the exception.

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  • Jit Garcia
  • Sep, 13, 2021

Grilled Salmon with Seasonal Salad & a Fresh Basil Vinaigrette

It’s true, you can usually find an array of ingredients all year round, but a seasonal recipe means you’re using ingredients when they’re naturally at their peak. When you practice eating in season the ingredients are more flavorful and more nutritious! And this salad is a celebration of summer in a bowl!

Nobody likes a boring salad. When making your own, look to combine crunchy, smooth, salty, spicy, herby, acidic and sweet flavors and textures that keeps you going back for more.

Enjoy this salad as a celebration of the season and the bounty of fresh produce. This recipe is typically in season between July-September.

Ingredients

Salad:
1 large butter lettuce, or 2 little gem lettuces
1 ½ cups chopped heirloom tomatoes, or cherry tomatoes, halved
1 ear of fresh corn, shucked
1 peach, diced
1 avocado, diced
1 english cucumber, thinly sliced

1 lb salmon filets
1 tablespoon avocado oil
Sea salt

Dressing:
1 cup (1 bunch) basil, packed
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
3 ½ tablespoons champagne vinegar
1 – 2 cloves garlic
1 ½ teaspoons sea salt
1 teaspoon fresh cracked black pepper

Directions:

1. Prepare all salad components, including cutting the fresh kernels off the corn cob, and add to a large serving bowl.
2. Prepare a grill, grill pan, or cast iron pan to cook your salmon. Prepare your cooking surface to a medium-high heat. Once hot, lightly grease the surface with avocado oil. Drizzle the remainder of the oil over the flesh of the salmon and season with a pinch of sea salt.
3. Place the salmon onto your cooking surface, flesh side down, and cook for 2-4 minutes. When the flesh of the salmon is opaque and the fish is able to gently release from the grates/pan, flip and cook for an additional 2-3 minutes until it is cooked to your liking. It is done when the outside appears fully opaque and a tip of a knife can pierce the salmon without resistance. Remove salmon from the heat and place on a plate.
4. While the salmon is cooking, add all dressing ingredients to a blender and puree until completely smooth.
5. Toss the salad with the dressing, leaving 1 tablespoon aside. Once the salad is fully tossed, place the salmon on top and drizzle the remaining dressing over the top.
6. Season with more salt and pepper to taste and enjoy!

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  • Alanna DeSalvo
  • Sep, 06, 2021

3 Things to Consider for a Healthier Bed

Our bedrooms are the place where we rest and repair each night. Every day, we encounter things in the world that put stress on our bodies. Our bodies are under constant attack from a variety of stressors from environmental pollutants and chemicals to emotional stress that is caused from different aspects of living our lives. At night, when we lay down to go to bed, we give our bodies the chance to repair our cells so we can wake up and start anew. It’s honestly such a gift and it’s why it’s so important to offer ourselves the best fighting chance to repair each night. This is why here at Awakening Spaces we would argue that our beds are the most important piece of furniture in the entire house.

3 Considerations for a Healthier Bed

The Bed Frame

It all starts with the bed frame. It’s important to lift our beds up off of the ground and allow air movement to penetrate below the mattress and frame. In Feng Shui, they describe that allowing air to flow below your bed is a sign that things will flow easily in your life. In Building Biology, we learn the importance of allowing the mattress to breathe so we can prevent moisture from becoming trapped.

Here a few things to look for when shopping for a bed frame:

  • Opt for a solid wood frame over something made from particleboard or MDF. Wood composite products have a high chance of containing formaldehyde.

  • Avoid metal frames (if possible), metal can act as a conductor or antenna and act as geopathic stress disturbing the earth’s own magnetic field. This is controversial, but in Building Biology we practice the precautionary principle meaning if it hasn’t been proven 100% safe we avoid it all together.

  • Be cautious of stains and sealers used on a bed frame as these may be petroleum based products. Always ask the company what they use.

The Mattress

When we sleep, our faces are inches away from our mattresses for 8 or so hours a night. What is the air quality in that proximity? Will you be inhaling petroleum based fumes or would you rather opt for something natural? Mattresses can contain things such as flame retardants, petroleum based polyurethane, and formaldehyde. So even though the bed might initially be “comfortable” just think of how uncomfortable you will be after years of inhaling these nasty chemicals. Our vote is to go natural whenever possible.

Here a few things to look for when shopping for a mattress:

  • Buy something made of natural materials like organic cotton, organic wool, and natural latex.

  • Look for the GOLS (Global Organic Latex Standard) and OEKO-Tex (non-organic latex) certifications.

  • Avoid Metal coils. Metal coils can act as an antenna if there are Electromagnetic fields in the room as well as geopathic stress and disturbance of the earth’s magnetic field. As mentioned above, this is controversial as well, but because of the precautionary principle, we choose to avoid it.

  • Make sure the layers of materials are stitched together and not glued together. Oftentimes companies use all healthy, non-toxic materials but they use adhesive to keep the layers from slipping past each other.

  • Be wary of foam mattresses claiming to be low-VOC and having a CertiPUR-US certification. This certification does not mean no VOC, it just means it’s slightly less toxic than a standard memory foam. It is certainly far safer than regular foam but it is only testing for the most known common offenders, who’s to say that the new chemicals they are replaced with don’t cause harm down the road? Once again, we like to follow the precautionary principle.

The Mattress Cover and Sheets

Finally, the thing we are closest to during our sleep is our mattress cover and bed sheets. Our sheets are in direct contact with our skin and have the ability to absorb any chemicals that the sheets contain. Did you know that it only takes 26 seconds for our skin to absorb things? The sad truth is, most of our cotton sheets contain high levels of pesticides. Cotton is one of the most heavily sprayed crops so we see this in conventional cotton sheets.

What to look for when shopping for a mattress cover:

  • Look for organic cotton, tencel, or wool products. These have less likely been sprayed with harmful chemicals pesticides.

  • Avoid anything that has vinyl in it.

  • Be cautious about “antibacterial” claims and remember that we are biological creatures with tons of good bacteria on our body. Anti-bacteria also harm our good bacteria.

  • Polyethylene is OK (it is one of the most inert plastics).

What to look for when shopping for a sheets:

  • Avoid anything that says “wrinkle-free” as it likely has a chemical component to make it that way.

  • Look for organic fabrics so you don’t chance sleeping up against pesticide residues.

  • Use sheets that only have natural dyes. Natural fabrics will also eliminate static electric charges created by synthetic materials.

At Awakening Spaces it’s our goal to give you the principles that make a product the MOST safe. How far you want to take it is up to you! Many people will do fine with products made from synthetic materials that are lower outgassing and only remove the biggest offending toxins, while others might need to select a bed assembly that is as pure and natural as possible. It’s also important to note that just because something is natural does not mean it will not have an odor or a smell to it, so it’s best practice to test things first if you are chemically sensitive. When you book a call with us we can help you find the perfect bed solution for your unique needs using all of the criteria outlined above. We hope this guide can help you make a healthier choice when you are selecting a new bed.

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  • Ashley Spanovich
  • Aug, 31, 2021

Redefining Success: One Size Does Not Fit All

How does success look for you? In fact, let’s try this out—think about how you envisioned a successful life 10 or 15 years ago, and compare it to your vision of success today. Did it change? While you think about that one, let me share mine.

Fifteen years ago, my definition of success wasn’t really mine. I borrowed it from my parents’, and it went something like this: “Success means finding a good job in a good company, making good money, and retiring gracefully after 40 years of job security.” And folks—‘good’ is always relative.

Today, my definition of success is lighter. It’s more flexible, it makes sense for me and for the life I’m building, and it can be summed up in four words: purpose, profit, peace, and joy. If the work I do today grants me these, then you’ll find me swimming in the pool of success. Scratch that – you’ll find me floating. On a rainbow-colored unicorn floatie, holding an ice-cold bottle of kombucha.

Finding Inspiration

As much as I love me a Pinterest board, the inspiration I’m talking about goes beyond a mood or a vision board. If I ask you what inspires you the most, could you answer as quickly and automatically as Netflix plays the next episode?

Self-confidence inspires me. I’m especially inspired by women who believe in themselves with such conviction, that the only thing on hold is another call (you know, vs. their dreams). Some are entrepreneurs, some are side-hustlers, some are full-timers working a 9-to-5. And all are trying to find the kind of balance that will allow them to do everything to achieve their own version of success.

Because—you can do everything—just not at the same time. I learned this after over a decade of working in marketing and PR, holding my productivity hostage to never-ending to-do lists with boxes waiting to be checked, and non-personal goals to attend to. I wasn’t born with the this-is-what-you’ll-do-for-the-rest-of-your-life chip. I always felt like there was something more; that I wasn’t meant to do just one thing or stay in one corporate job forever. Most of my professional life I’ve been working the good jobs, at the good companies, making decent money, and following someone else’s definition of success.

Until I realized I could do anything. I could be anything. And still work the good jobs. Somewhere in the middle, I found the way to complete a yoga teacher training and get certified as a health coach. Do I make a living doing the latter? No. Do these practices bring me immense joy? Heck yes.

Staying True to You

There is not one way to live your life; not one way to do anything. Yet, there’s a shared misconception that every adult should have everything figured out by a certain age (ahem, 30). That there’s a sequence of events that need to happen before you’re too late, or too old but definitely not while it’s too early or you’re too young. It’s like we live under a predetermined, collectively accepted norm stating that if you specialize in one subject you must make it your life’s work. As if choosing to focus on one of your passions, instantly bans you from pursuing another one.

In case no one ever told you: You are free to fulfill as many interests as you can handle, regardless of what you do for a living. Neither your profession, job, title, nor salary define who you are. And above all—they don’t determine your value.

Living Wholeheartedly

I had to pull over and stop my car mid-listen to playback and write down what I’d just heard. I was deep in Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability, having all sorts of ‘aha’ moments listening to Guidepost #9, from her “10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living.” Something in me clicked and my perspective was forever changed. The car-stopping, life-altering, relatable nugget of wisdom is called: “Cultivating meaningful work, letting go of self-doubt and ‘supposed to’.”

In case you’re unfamiliar with Dr. Brené Brown and her work, I’ll do my best to illustrate. She’s a researcher and storyteller who began studying emotions like vulnerability, shame, and guilt. This led her to shift the focus to what happens after we overcome limiting beliefs associated with the feelings above, and we start owning our story. Spoiler alert: We let joy in, and start living a wholehearted life. Through her research, Brown found that wholehearted people do work that they care about, that they’re passionate about and that generates a sense of purpose.

Recognizing Your Passion and Purpose

She mentions a variety of scenarios and groups of people, that I summarize below (I’m using my own terminology for naming them here):

  • The Side-Hustlers with Purpose: people with a 9-to-5 job that doesn’t necessarily have them bursting with passion, but it pays the bills. However, they have an on-the-side (a side-hustle, or passion project) enabling that feeling of joy and purpose for them.

  • The Unicorns: the fortunate folks who have that one job with which they feed their families, themselves and their souls. They are fulfilled.

  • The Naturals: People fulfilled by their job, who find some purpose and meaning in it, but mostly because it’s a good job and they do it well.

What I find interesting about the last group, is that on top of having a job that doesn’t make them miserable, they have an on-the-side something that fills whatever void is left by their day job, and it can either generate extra income, or—listen closely—not. Or, they do volunteer work.

Through a series of stories stemming from her research, Brené Brown argues that we live in a society where it’s frowned upon to invest your time in something that feeds your soul, but doesn’t thicken your wallet. I agree.

There are people who are fortunate enough to find their passion early in life, and make a living out of it, or who ditch their 9-to-5 to pursue what genuinely feeds their soul. And there are some who desperately dream of quitting a job that is not fulfilling, or following a passion out of pure enjoyment, but due to their current situation that isn’t an immediate possibility.

If you relate to the first group: kudos for the clarity. Rooting for you.

And if you’re relating to that second group, I leave you with what I consider is the most powerful segment of Guidepost #9:

From The Power of Vulnerability

“…So, if you’re on the fence about if you have the ability to feed your soul or feed your family or feed yourself with work you love, it’s worth whatever you have to do, to make that happen.

It’s really worth that leap.

If you don’t have that option, it is absolutely worth the leap of finding a way to express yourself, and work in some contribution that reflects who you are. And you have the right to do that even if you don’t make any money and you have to carve away time from the rest of your life to do it.

…It’s important, it’s part of who we are.”

May you continue believing in yourself, redefining your meaning of success, and doing more of what feeds your soul.

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  • Jit Garcia
  • Aug, 13, 2021

Spiced Apple Faux-Oat-Meal

The crisp morning air means fall is in the air and this No-Oat-Meal is the best introduction to fall.

It’s basically a high fiber, low-carb version of oatmeal that’s grain-free, paleo, and plant-based.

Oatmeal is a common breakfast but, for many people it can be a trigger that irritates digestion or spikes blood sugar leaving them hungry a few hours later and reaching for a pick me up.

This recipe is loaded with healthy fats and fiber to stabilize blood sugar and keep you full and satisfied for hours. And because it’s grain-free it’ll cut down on the inflammatory properties that can leave you feeling bloated or gassy.

You’ll be surprised how much the texture resembles oatmeal. Give it a try–I know you’ll love it!

Tag @kindpublishingco and @alannadesalvonutrition on Instagram when you make it.

Ingredients

1 green apple*
1/2 cup canned coconut milk + 1/2 cup water or 1 cup almond milk
3 tablespoons chopped walnuts
2 tablespoons almond flour
1 tablespoon flaxseed
1 tablespoon chia seed
1 tablespoon hemp seed optional
1 serving collagen powder or protein of choice
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon sea salt

* I like using Honeycrisp apples or something more firm and crisp. Granny Smith will also work well. You can also use 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce instead but it will be more like porridge instead of oatmeal.

Directions

Core the apple and cut it in 4-6 wedges. Put it in a high powered blender or food processor and pulse to shred the apple into pea sized slices . You can also finely dice with a knife.
Add coconut milk and water to a small saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a boil.
While the milk is heating, combine everything else in a small bowl.
Once the milk has come to a boil add everything to the pot and stir constantly to thicken to an oatmeal consistency, about 1-2 minutes. If it’s too thick for your preference add more milk, if it’s too thin, add an extra tablespoon of almond flour or 1/4 teaspoon of chia seeds.
Scoop it into a bowl and enjoy!

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  • Alanna DeSalvo
  • Aug, 06, 2021

How Entrepreneurs Can Effect Change in Local Communities

I’m sure you saw that Jeff Bezos launched himself into outer space a few weeks ago (who could have missed that rocket?). But today, I want to talk about the real hero of the Amazon story: MacKenzie Scott. Why? Simply put, I think she offers a really great glimpse into what it really means to be a leader. MacKenzie now owns 4% of Amazon and has a net-worth of over $50 billion USD. But instead of shooting herself into space, you know what she’s doing with that money? She’s giving it away.

Which got me thinking: What would it look like if people actually started investing in their communities? We talk about systemic change all the time, but that can feel paralyzing. What if, instead, we talked about change in a more tangible, actionable way. We can’t all be MacKenzie Scott, but we can all do something to make our communities a better, safer place for everyone.

How to Create Change in Your Own Community as an Entrepreneur

  1. Sponsor a local event or fundraiser by donating through your business.

    Are there any local non-profits or organizations that are raising money for your local community? For example, events like 5k runs, fundraising dinners, and other community events are always looking for sponsors. You don’t have to be a large corporation to make a donation for events like this!

  2. Give a portion of your company’s monthly profit to a local organization that is making real change in your community.

    This is something I’ve enacted in my own business. Each month, I donate a set amount of money to a different local organization that’s doing good work in my community. I ask for recommendations from friends and then vet the organizations to make sure they are aligned with my values. You can decide to donate a set amount or a percentage of your overall profits. It’s up to you!

  3. Organize a volunteer day during the week with a few of your peers.

    This is a fun one that I haven’t implemented yet, but I’m looking forward to! If you’re an entrepreneur, chances are you have a more flexible schedule than someone working 9-5. Check to see if there are any local organizations that need volunteer support during the week. They’ll most likely be extremely grateful, as they may not typically receive as much support during those hours.

  4. Shout-out community organizations that you have relationships with on social media + tell your followers why you work with them.

    If you cannot donate monetarily, you can always support local community organizations by sharing their information on social media. Know a good organization that’s making a difference in your local community? Share their story on your social media channel and encourage your followers to follow and engage with them!

  5. Use your platform as a business owner to direct local legislative change by signing petitions, attending council meetings, sitting on leadership boards, etc.

    Recently, I was asked to sign a petition for redistricting for local elections in my area. On the petition, it asked what business or organization I was representing—and I realized I could sign the petition on my own company’s behalf! As a business owner, you have a lot more power than you realize. Learn about the causes that you feel passionate about and use your position of leadership to push for the change you want to see.

As an entrepreneur—whether you like it or not—you are a leader. How can you step into that leadership role with confidence? What can you do to effect change in your community?

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  • Meaghan Dunham
  • Aug, 03, 2021

Why You Need a HEPA Filtered Vacuum for a Cleaner Home

When the average person goes to buy a vacuum, the first thing they do is look at the reviews. The problem with this strategy, however, is that vacuums are evaluated on the power of the machine (watts, amps, voltage, water lift, horsepower, and airflow)—and not their ability to truly remove the toxins that compose our dust. To get the most out of your vacuuming, there’s a reason why we have such high standards. If you’re not using an HEPA filtered vacuum, you’re literally leaving toxins on your surfaces.

The Importance of a HEPA Filter

HEPA stands for High-Efficiency Particulate Arrestor—it’s the best when it comes to trapping particulate matter. As stated on the EPA’s website, “This type of air filter can theoretically remove at least 99.97% of dust, pollen, mold, bacteria, and any airborne particles with a size of 0.3 microns (µm)” This means vacuums with a HEPA filter are able to capture super small particles that would otherwise get missed by a non-HEPA filtered vacuum.

A vacuum with a good review might have a lot of power and seem to pick up all the grime, but if it doesn’t have a HEPA filter it might actually be recirculating the toxins back into the air…and what’s the point in that?! Non-HEPA filtered vacuums can re-circulate up to 70% of the particulate back into the air. Yikes! Not only will a HEPA filtered vacuum actually remove dirt and toxins like a pro, it will leave your air cleaner than before you vacuumed.

What to Look for When Shopping for a Quality Vacuum Cleaner

  1. HEPA (High Efficiency Particulate Air) Filter Helps to keep indoor air clean and leaves the air cleaner after you’ve vacuumed.

  2. Completely Sealed System Help so contaminants don’t leak back into the environment.

  3. Dust Bag Without a dust bag, toxins are likely to re-enter the environment when you dump out the container.

  4. Dusting Accessories Helps you access hard to reach places and so you don’t damage your furniture/walls.

We found the best reviewed HEPA vacuums in every price range and shared them here. For the cleanest results, it’s important that your vacuum have an internal bag so that microscopic toxins aren’t released back into the air when you dump the canister into the trash, however, you may want to note that some models can be bulky. Smaller, lighter weight models are available without a bag, but with any vacuum with a true HEPA filter which will give a quality clean.

Investing in a high-quality vacuum is one of the easiest and effective ways to maintain a healthy home. We hope that this article will serve you well and help you look beyond the average consumer ratings for what it means to have a quality vacuum cleaner. Check out Awakening Spaces to learn more about our favorite vacuum cleaners.

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  • Ashley Spanovich
  • Jul, 30, 2021

Breaking Unhealthy Addictions

Typically, when we hear about addictions, it has to do with being addicted to harmful substances or damaging behaviors like cigarettes, cocaine, heroine, sex, or gambling. Of course, there’s a good reason for this, as these tend to be some of the most addictive experiences out there. However, if we are really honest, addiction itself is incredibly destructive no matter what you are addicted to. And if we look closer at addiction, you’ll notice it’s all around us.

What are we addicted to?

It’s simple. Anything we continue to use, despite adverse consequences:

  • Continued scrolling through our social feed

  • Continued procrastination and putting off our lives

  • Continued excessive drinking and driving

  • Continued obsessive thinking and criticism about our past mistakes

  • Continued denying ourselves of basic needs or not spending money on legitimate needs

  • Continued vomiting of food, or using diuretics, exercise, etc. to avoid weight gain

I could continue, but I am also sure you are able to come up with a list of your own. We do all these things, despite adverse consequences.

For myself, thinking about these behaviors as “addictions” can be a powerful framing. I know from my own experience, addiction took years of being faced with negative consequences repeatedly before I realized I needed to change. After all, it is much easier to normalize my existing behavior. If you’re being beaten with consequence after consequence, by this point they have probably become so loud, and perhaps feel as if they’re coming at you in every direction, they become difficult to ignore. Your ignorance and constant silencing of your inner child’s needs and wants are now causing you significant problems and catastrophic consequences.

How to Break an Unhealthy Addiction

First, you have to make a decision to change. After all, I can drop you off at rehab, but if you are completely rigid in your belief system and committed to your wounding patterns, you will most likely carry resistance to the idea that anything can actually change in your life. You might spend a long time telling me why it can’t or won’t happen, or how you “can’t do that” or “you don’t know how.”

Very commonly, your rigidity (your stubbornly held beliefs) resides in your body—which show up as TMJ, hives, rashes, and digestive issues from your buried unresolved rage and resentment. All of these consistently reinforced patterns will stand directly in the way of your belief in your capabilities, therefore blocking any ability to heal yourself.

One way I like to help my clients move past their resistance and open to possibilities is with an Intuitive Healing Session. Together we can cancel, un-create and delete any disempowering beliefs, and then download empowering beliefs from the creator of all that is, in their place. We also have the opportunity to run your energy with the help of Reiki, as well as incorporate an energetic cord-cutting, increasing the speed in which the energy flows throughout all of your chakras, allowing you to feel lighter and brighter. When we bring your karma, contracts, and agreements into present time, we free you from any past life experiences connected to your unhealthy addictions. Through all of these energetic and psychic practices, you’ll notice that your resistance and the intensity of suppressed emotions will feel different immediately. You may feel more present awareness, instead of dragging your past around with you. Your focus, attention to, and sensitivity around receiving pleasure will be increased and heightened in a way you previously thought was unattainable.

What Does an Energetic Healing Do for Addiction?

An energetic healing instantly opens you up to the wisdom of your higher self, allowing you to trust in what you receive through your crown chakra (located at the top of your head, which symbolizes your connection to source, God, universe). If that energy continues flowing smooth and freely, it then allows you to see and believe in the wisdom of what you are creating (third eye chakra). If your throat chakra stays open, you receive discernment through active listening. In addition, you begin to share your truth—releasing the message you hear and your own inner guidance out into the world around you. You are “speaking things into existence.”

When a higher frequency of energy passes down through your energetic pathways, you have the opportunity to release any sadness, grief, despair, guilt, shame, anger or betrayal through your energetic and emotional bodies. When energy continues to flow freely through your heart chakra, this allows your love, compassion, and empathy to energetically pass through you into full expansion, just like your breath. In addition, the heart chakra is the gatekeeper and necessary to the lower three chakras.

From here, your imagination and creative ideas move into the integrity of your actions and self-belief (solar plexus chakra), finally moving down and into your passions and self-determination (sacral chakra) and becoming grounded through your root chakra (located at the base of the spine). This is how our ideas are born and delivered out into the world.

Through energetically releasing what is no longer is serving us, we shift our vibrational frequency, and become fully embodied, centered, and engaged in our aligned path—in integrity with our inner truth. When your chakras are clear and in alignment, your life can feel so much clearer and in alignment as well. Everything in life just gets easier.

How Else Can I Ensure My Success?

Prepare yourself and others to make the change you’ve committed to.

Set boundaries around what you plan to share or not share. If you are letting go of an addiction which incurs heavy symptoms of withdrawal, call on a relationship with those who also want to see you become a success. Find someone(s) who can cheer you on when you can’t find the strength to. Surrender your guilt around needing someone else’s help. Don’t worry, you can always return the favor.

Have a plan for coping with any withdrawal symptoms, or soothing your judgement around not being perfect or not enough when you slip up.

Getting mad at yourself indicates that you need to step in and rescue yourself from your learned ability to be unkind to yourself. In these moments, create confidence by asking yourself, “Am I empowered at this moment, or disempowered?” This offers access to your experience in a more somatic (feeling) approach, and encourages an answer to come up from somewhere other than the thinking part of you (which is where we usually get mentally and emotionally stuck). When we send our bodies the message that we are not good enough, we create additional shame and guilt that will need to be addressed later. We also energetically drain ourselves, which is a waste of precious energy that we could use in positive and beneficial ways that would increase our enjoyment in other areas of our life.

Continue to encourage your awareness around any replacement addictive behaviors and cultivate self-love around any comparison, impatience, or despair.

As our awareness increases, our innate impulse toward health and well-being will be activated, moving us out of danger and into a more positive and more natural, compassionate and loving relationship with ourselves.

Learn how to be your own best friend.

Take the time to ask yourself, “What advice would I give my best friend right now?” and take the advice. Ultimately, how can you better love yourself in that moment and make a healthier, more loving choice for you moving forward.

Continue to look honestly and deeply at all of your behaviors.

Look where the complacent person in you might justify your behavior and say, “Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be doing that, but it’s not that big of a deal… it doesn’t have a major negative impact on my life, so I can just let it slide. I just want things to be easy.”

Realize that as you change, you may have major changes in relationships and friendships.

Unfortunately, the people around us don’t always appreciate when we change, as it puts pressure on them to change their behaviors and how they are showing up to your relationship, as well. Be prepared for any resistance others have to you being what they need you to be.

An Invitation to Sobriety

The point here is, don’t feel bad about yourself and slip into an addiction of self-criticism. Let your awareness be an invitation to your sobriety. As someone who has gone from becoming an alcoholic, to becoming sober, I can say that life is about 1,000 times better when I approach it with a clear mind, reliably centered, and not under the influence. When I am able to approach my life from a place of energetic neutrality, I am more successful at knowing how to be emotionally contained. And for every other untraditional addiction I’ve let go of, like passive-aggressiveness, the movement into “sobriety” has significantly improved my life. This can be your experience as well.

What are your addictions? Are you open to looking at those (with self-compassion)? What might life be like if you went “sober”? If you really want and are ready for change, I have confidence you will make it happen. I know, through my own experience, that anything in life can be overcome.

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  • Andrea Firpo
  • Jul, 22, 2021
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