Video Transcript
I get this question a lot: Why am I attracting partners that are emotionally unavailable or physically unavailable? There can be a few answers for that. But the most common answers I find are:
Self- Protection
They’re trying to protect themselves from being vulnerable, from being hurt, from loss. It’s really hard for some people to open up to someone and allow themselves to feel that joy, knowing that as much joy as they feel, they will equally feel as much sadness if something were to happen to them or if they were to leave.
Which is inevitable, right? In this world that we live in, there’s a constant cycle of death and rebirth. Sometimes that just means you break up, or it wasn’t meant to be, or it’s run its course… No matter what the outcome is there’s always lessons—no matter what, in any relationship we have. There’s good stuff for us to learn from, take in, and integrate.
Unworthiness
The second reason that people tend to attract people who are physically or emotionally unavailable is this feeling as though they’re not worthy of anyone. Or as though they will inherently ruin something. Or they’ll open up to someone and that person will eventually see them for who they truly are. And they may believe that who they truly are is unworthy, undeserving, or terrible.
This can lead to self-sabatoshing by purposefully choosing partners that are in a relationship with someone else, or who refuse to commit, or who refuse to treat them with integrity, love, and respect. This idea that we are inherently broken is really prominent in people who attract unhealthy partners because if they were attracting people that were giving them their full attention and their time, they would be in their worth—and they’re not. They’re attracting people that are:
- Disrespecting them
- Not being present with them
- Not giving them everything they deserve
These are the main two reasons why people attract unavailable people, and if you’re one of those people ask yourself these questions:
Why do you attract them?
Why do you want them?
What does it serve?
Does it protect something?
Does it help something?
Does it help keep you small or safe?
Does it save you from having to see if you truly are worthy and deserving of someone who is just as incredible as you are?
Is it to stop you from taking responsibility for yourself in the way you need to show up for somebody else?
There’s lots of questions you can ask, and if you’re curious about this visit Mystic Rose Medicine or connect with me on Instagram—we can talk about why you may be attracting people who are not on your level and are not helping you get to where you want to be.
