Blog - Page 14 of 16 - Kind Publishing Co

Creating in the Time of Corona

Re(de)fined
On the inside looking out.
An undefined space yet to be discovered.
The clock on the wall ticks and the window is just a window.
On the outside searching within.
A defined square feet of space.
Time is defined.
Before and after.
Past and Future.
Then and eventually.
The world beyond the window has changed.
Peering through to the outside.
Witnessing.
How to redefine?
The window is no longer a window.
The clock on the wall has stopped ticking.

My name is Julee Mahon and I am a dance artist. Yes, I spell my name with two e’s and no i’s, which is pretty much the perfect amount of drama and efficiency I tend to surround myself with. I took my first dance class at the age of two and a half and from then on have always described myself as a dancer.

Julee the dancer, that’s me.

As a teen I was at the dance studio 5 nights a week training and getting ready for competitions. I was then accepted into a dance performing arts program in my hometown for my final two years in high school. In fall of 2009 I moved to Philadelphia to start off my college career as a BFA Dance major at Temple University. Over my four years at Temple I met wonderful dancers, and had many performance opportunities all over the city, so come graduation I decided to stay and immerse myself into the small yet fierce arts and dance community of Philadelphia.

Now it is 2021 and I am still here. But where are the arts?

As a creative, 2020 looked very different than the one I had imagined. 2019 was full of energy and inspiration, ideas and performances. New opportunities were awaiting for 2020.

As I look back on 2020 creatively speaking it was bleak. Bleak in terms of motivation and inspiration, energy, and exploration. I found myself asking the questions:

How do I create when I am not inspired?
How do I create when I am not motivated?
How do I create when I have no energy?
Who do I create for?
Where do I find my audience?
Who is my audience?

And finally the big one; How do I create?

I felt like I lost a sense of myself. That part of me that was curious and looks to discover and move. When I dance, I have this feeling of freedom but it went away when I stopped creating. Some days I moved because I felt I had to. Other days I moved because I needed to. But most days I moved from my bedroom to the kitchen and vice versa. In 2020, I forgot what it was like to move as an artist. I felt human again, like superman without his strength. I felt I lost the part of myself that made me a dancer and an artist.

At first it was fatigue. Then it was a failure. And finally fear, that kept me from dancing.

The fatigue came when I lost sense of time. My full-time job had no start or end time. I would work until I fell asleep and I would wake up and get right back to work. The feeling of failure came when I chose to not take a virtual dance class because I couldn’t bear to stare at a screen any longer. I took one class from a teacher I admired, but staring at the screen and moving made me nauseous. It was as if my body was rejecting dance. What previously brought me immense joy was now making me sick. In order to keep my body safe I said ‘no’ to dance. That was the first time I have ever done that. I have always chosen dance. I chose dance over going to school football games. I chose dance over prom. I chose dance over boyfriends. It was always there for me, until it wasn’t.

Then came the fear. I couldn’t fail at something I didn’t even try for, right? Would I even remember how to move? That was my biggest fear.

Through journaling and support from friends, I have been able to work through my fear and my unrealistic expectations of what I think dance means to me. Now that it has reached 2021 and we are almost one year into the Corona Virus pandemic, I am looking into the new year with some clarity.

It is okay to feel fatigued, everyone does. You are not alone. It is okay to give yourself what your body needs. Failure is a myth you tell yourself out of fear. My mind was making up excuses for me to not even put in any effort. Instead of just saying NO and give myself time to rest, I said NO and then burdened myself with the guilt of it.

I needed to let go of my expectations and not be so hard on myself. I was bullying myself and didn’t even realize it. When I came to this realization I felt such a relief. I was able to think clearer and felt more confident in continuing my creative process and working my way back to Julee the dancer.

My solutions:

Buying a journal

This journal is only for dance. I like knowing that, other than my body, this journal is also a tool. A sacred tool that will hold any idea or piece of inspiration that will keep my creativity alive. Writing everything down will make it real and will get it all out of my head. This book has one rule, and that rule is there is no judgment. No matter the idea, write it down. Just write anything and everything!

Moving is moving

I was upset with myself for not dancing but at the same time shaming myself for engaging in other forms of movement. I started congratulating myself for all the movement I did. Running: you go girl! Zumba: yassss! Yoga: you stretched today! I started to teach creative movement to kids, so I could share my love of dance with the next generation! Celebrate all movements no matter how big or small. Even though it may not be a modern dance class I was still moving my body!

Prioritize dance

It is no secret I love to dance, so why not prioritize it in my life. Make time to take a class. With the online options, give yourself time to get used to it and do what you can. You can go at your own pace in your home, that is judgement free! Work your way up to masking up and taking class in person, if your community offers that. But know there is no reason to rush your own process.

getting creative

Right now with technology at our fingertips nothing is off limits. Now is the time to rewrite all the rules and expand your mind to think even farther out of the box. Art has no limit. No one and everyone is your audience. Putting work on social media platforms expands your reach and brings art to your community and beyond!

2020 has been a year like no other. I have learned a great deal about myself and about my art. I can honestly say I look forward to what the rest of 2021 will bring. I know I am not alone, I deserve to be kind to myself, and dance will always be there no matter what.

Cheers to more dancing and creating.

Creativity, Personal Story
Mar, 10, 2021

Bringing Mindfulness Into Your Everyday Life

How often do you feel joy? Genuine, inhibited joy? What if one simple activity could help you notice and create joy more often?

Mindfulness is a way to notice our thoughts, be patient with ourselves, and intentionally chose how we want to move forward. When we bring awareness into our daily activities we are able to actively seek the joy of being alive. Living mindfully also helps us to more easily take in the goodness that surrounds us each day. You learn to savor. You learn to be forgiving — especially to yourself.

It’s often thought that mediation means that you must quiet the mind completely, which can feel incredibly difficult — we are human after all. However, mindfulness and meditation are really about teaching us how to quiet distractions and just pay attention to the present moment. To forget about our to-do lists, a work conflict, or what you’re making for dinner that evening.

In meditation, I encourage you to choose to focus on one thing at a time. Notice your mind wandering away from the chosen anchor, and with kindness and compassion bring your awareness back. As we become better at focusing on the present moment, we gain a new awareness of the beautiful things that happen around us all the time. Plus, we spend less time ruminating about the past and fretting about the future.

3 tips to intentionally be mindful and begin a meditation practice

Micro-meditation

It is important to start your meditation practice in a way that feels realistic and accessible to you. So, feel empowered that micro-meditions are a thing. A micro-meditation is as little as one intentional breath or one full minute of thoughtful breathing. That’s it!

Take one thoughtful deep breath before or after a tough conversation. I promise it will make a difference.

When you wake up, do something that brings you joy

It has been shown that the way we start our day affects the way we end it. Instead of going straight to your phone answering emails or text messages, try to take a few deep belly breaths. Inhale through your nose until your belly is full with air and then loudly exhale out your mouth.

I encourage all people to take 30 minutes to an hour between the time they wake up and when they start their work for the day to do something mindful. And, by mindful, I mean just being totally present doing something you love. Something that brings you joy.

Mantras

Spoken words can be a great way to focus attention. One mantra we love is, “Peace begins *deep inhale, with me deep exhale* .”

Leave a post-it on your mirror to remind you of this mantra. Recite these simple words every morning and night, and throughout the day as needed.

Peace, joy, and lightness live within all of us. Meditation and mindfulness allow us to tap into a deeper sense of peace and joy. If you’re looking for guidance on these practices, our Realistic Self Care course aims to change the way your mind processes adversity. We will help you manage the everyday stressors of life with simple, actionable tools – to learn more visit our website.

Mindfulness
Mar, 03, 2021

Grief: Processing Regret, Forgiveness, and Memories of Love

I’ve tried to write this a few times, trying to find the right words to say, hoping that this would be insightful and even helpful. But the truth is, grief is surprising. It is messy and complicated, unpredictable and uncomfortable.

The reason this is so hard for me is because I lost a dear friend in a tragic accident 5 days before Christmas—and I’ve been having a difficult time trying to process this. I’ve experienced death from a distance and even as a support to my husband. I knew in some ways what to expect, but at its deepest level, I wasn’t expecting everything else that came along with it.

In some ways, I feel at peace with my feelings. Yes, there is regret, which I think is a completely normal and justifiable response. But I can’t help but think…if I had just seen her or hugged her or done whatever with her one last time, or about the moments I will never have with her. And then I think of the amount of pain her family is going through. She was only 23. Yes, death is part of life, but 23. That’s just getting started.

I think our regret comes from grieving an illusionary life that we imagined but will never get to come to fruition.

This past year has opened my eyes and my heart to a lot of different practices. One of which is radical forgiveness. This can be done for yourself or for others, but the process is the same. While we have no control over others, we do have control over ourselves. Forgiveness is not for the other person to give; it is a gift to and for yourself. In a situation where you are running multiple scenarios through your head and multiple futures of what could be, this is the time for forgiveness. Forgive yourself for what could not be or for all that you wish you would have been done differently. This is the story of grief; being in this cycle. We will never get another chance with them. Forgive all parts of yourself that you have any guilt about.

Ho’oponopono

My favorite practice is called Ho’oponopono. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice for forgiveness and self-healing. The process was founded and adapted to modern times by Hawaiian Kahuna Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona. It is absolutely fascinating to read about and I will simply summarize how I have used this technique to cope with the loss of my friend.

Step 1: Repentance

For this instance you could say something along the lines of “I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you in a way that you needed.” You are essentially placing the responsibility on to yourself.

Step 2: forgiveness

The step where we ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t necessarily matter who you are asking, just ask. “Please forgive me” and mean this so deeply. You could follow up with “Please forgive me for (insert situation or scenario).

Step 3: gratitude

Simply, “Thank you”. Now with grief, this is where I would shift into the feeling of being able to share in their life. They were a gift to us, for whatever that means to you, express gratitude for being able to share in this physical world with you for the time that they did.

Step 4: Love

Last step is probably the most important. Saying “I love you.”
Say this to the person you are experiencing grief over losing. Say this to God or whomever you call to, in times of need. Say it to your friends and family, but also to yourself. Love is the most powerful force in this world and can change the mood in any room. We grieve because we love.

In grief, nothing makes any sense. Time doesn’t exist in your world. Days and weeks, months and years go by and it’s as if you are frozen. Still in the moment where everything in your life crumbled with news that would forever impact your everyday life. You look up at the sky and you see a cloud that reminds you of “that one time…” with your person. Any sense can trigger a memory. A sound, smell, taste, or feel of something can take you back as if it were happening right at that very moment. You are momentarily struck, as if frozen deep in that memory.

And the waves continue to crash as if you never had time to come up for air.

It all starts over.

The sting of reality.

The phone call you want to make to a person that will never pick up.

Realizing the moments that will never be shared together in this physical life. As one walks in our reality and the other glides in the spirit realm.

Words are hard to convey, emotions are even harder.

“It is what it is”

But don’t I wish it could all just be a nightmare I could wake up from.

Grief is something I wish we didn’t have to experience, but as you know, that is life. In some ways, perhaps the process of our loved ones’ departure is teaching us something we could never learn if they were here—a catalyst. Though a meaningful and painful one.

Someone passing away can be a point where you can turn your life around. Where you get to embody the very best parts of your loved one and carry that presence around with you wherever you go. The power of truly being present and not regretting any single thing at all.

I think that’s the greatest gift we could ever truly give.

Anyone in grief will tell you things both predictable and unpredictable will make you sad, and in those moments, just remember, grief is only misplaced love and if you feel that emotion, you have the opportunity to share that love with others—keeping a piece of them alive. We sort of are our own bully in this situation and we really don’t have to be. We can’t change what was or what wasn’t. We can only learn and do better with other people. This is a whole process in healing and growing. Practice forgiveness on yourself and others. I promise this will be transformative.

And I will leave you with something that was shared at my friends funeral and it was a perfect summary of how our life force energy continues long after we aren’t able to interact in this world physically. “Light bulbs die, my sweet. I will depart”, from Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium which was followed by another saying, “I like to think that it’s just a change of address.” They are always around us because the love we have for them is inside us and that can never be taken from us.

Emotional Health, Relationships
Jan, 21, 2021

Women And Abundance As Told For Centuries Past

I read something today in a book about abundance that said women often feel discontent because they want to have it all. They want too much.

It went on to say that women need to be okay with having only what we need and not everything we want. While I believe whole-heartedly that we should be thankful and content for everything we have, I do have a problem with implicating that we, as women, desire too much and should not have lofty desires in the first place.

For centuries women have been told what they can and cannot have. They have been told to be meek and safe in their pursuits. To be cautionary in their adventures in fear of making the wrong step, of upsetting the wrong person. It is something so ingrained into our being, playing it safe, holding ourselves back has become a norm that has passed down from generation to generation.

By believing that you cannot have everything you desire, you are, in turn, telling the universe that you don’t deserve everything you desire — so it will never come to you. Life is about cultivating an experience that we love and find joy in, so why would you tell yourself that you can’t have, don’t deserve, the things that will bring in those very feelings?

You can have everything you want. It isn’t a matter of worthiness. It’s a matter of what you are willing to do in order to get what you want.

Several years ago I was deep within an autoimmune flare. I was searching for a diagnosis for months and was in an immeasurable amount of pain every day. If I undertook this belief described in this book, I could not have achieved everything I wanted — health would not be an option for me. I would have settled into the sickness, claiming it as my own, resigning in my pain and grief over my seemingly broken body. However, I refused that outcome. I worked tirelessly to find answers. To find providers who could actually help me and believed that I truly was sick. It wasn’t fast coming and it certainly wasn’t easy, but I finally did achieve the health I was looking for.

The only reason that was able to occur was because I believed (even without proof) that it was available to me. If you are willing to do the work, to do whatever needs to be done to set the course for what you want, you can have anything you want. The world is yours. It is there waiting for you to take it.

Should you grasp, white knuckled, for your desires? No.

Should you be desperate and impatient for what you want? Absolutely not.

But you need to dream. You need to daydream and visualize and conceptualize what it is you actually want in this life. Call it in and believe that it is obtainable. Go after what you want and believe that you can have it — then plant the seeds. Set the goals and actions to make it happen. It is yours.

Relationships
Jan, 14, 2021

Music Can Impact Your Mental Health

Have you ever wondered why hearing your favorite song always seems to put you in a good mood? Or why you’ll never be able to listen to your grandmother’s favorite song after her passing because it’s just too sad? Or how loud music and cheering fans makes such an impact at a sports game?

Music is all around us, even when we don’t realize it. It’s vitally important to our society and can make a lasting impact on our mental health, both consciously and subconsciously. Here are a few unique ways music impacts our daily mental wellness:

IT CAN INFLUENCE OUR SPENDING HABITS

Did you know that stores play background music as you’re shopping? The next time you walk into the grocery store, stop and take a listen — that music was chosen on purpose.

Many large companies take time to research the impacts of music on consumerism — no surprise there. So the music you’re listening to is a deliberate attempt to get you to slow down and take your time shopping — therefore making you more inclined to spend more money. Tricky, huh?

While you’re at it, pay attention to commercials, too. Each song is deliberately chosen to evoke a specific feeling the company wants you to associate with their brand. And have you ever noticed how those jingles are so catchy? That’s on purpose. Bet you’ll never forget who the jingle is associated with; that company worked hard to build brand recognition.

Takeaway: Music is a very powerful tool that influences many of our subconscious behaviors. If you take notice of it, however, you can work to minimize its influence.

IT CAN CHANGE OUR MOOD

If you’re wondering why that one specific song means so much to you, it’s because music literally changes our mood. When we listen to specific types of music (or even sounds) the chemicals in our brain fire in different, predetermined ways. Because each of us is wired a little differently, our chemicals and neurotransmitters fire in different ways, at different times.

For instance, if a parent hears their baby crying it can trigger a rise in cortisol (the stress hormone). Likewise, if you hear a song that reminds you of a happy memory, it triggers a rise in dopamine (the happiness hormone). Certain songs can change the way we feel in an instant, and leave lasting effects.

One of the strongest instances of this for me was when I visited the Warner Bros. Studio in February of last year. In one part of the exhibit, they had a sound effects simulation. The person running the experience allowed us to watch a clip from a thriller movie with different types of sounds: only sound effects, only dialogue, only music, and all three together. I was shocked at how heavily the music influenced my mood, especially when it wasn’t being played. I could actually stand to watch the movie instead of covering my eyes!

Takeaway: Take notice of all the times when you may be triggered by specific types of music. It’s ok not to listen to them if they make you feel lousy. Likewise, if a song really pumps you up, you can use it to influence your mood on a crummy day.

Take Control of Your Ears

Listening to anything is a form of consumerism, whether or not we realize it. From the playlists we choose, to the news playing in the background, all of these sounds influence the way we feel, think, and act.

One way to practice self-care is to carefully pay attention to what you’re listening to each day.

If you’re looking for a way to wake up feeling more refreshed and less hurried, consider changing your alarm tone to something more soothing that gently wakes you up over the course of a few minutes. Instead of listening to the news in the car, try putting on a fun playlist of songs that you can sing along too.

Takeaway: When you realize that music has an effect on your mental health, you can begin to take action.

As a professionally trained musician, I’ve known for years that music can have an incredible impact on the way we live our lives. It’s important to understand that we have control over how we respond to aural stimuli, it’s just a matter of being able to actively listen for them.

Emotional Health
Jan, 01, 2021

How To Care For Your Body Intuitively And With Self-Compassion

Mindfulness. Intuitive eating. Self-compassion. These are terms that we have become familiar with as so many are craving new ways of coping, connecting with ourselves and relating to each other. But as these concepts become buzz words or are over-commercialized, we risk losing the spirit of what is important.

When it comes to eating and how we relate to our bodies, many of us become paralyzed in our pursuit of mindfulness. There are literally hundreds of food documentaries telling us the different diets that we should adhere to, but they all seem to contradict each other. For the most part, the media still portrays only one type of body as desirable. We are living in the most over-worked, disconnected, and financially burdened society ever. Stigmas against mental illness run rampant. And the icing on the cake; we’re burned out and fatigued from the state of the current world. Thank you, COVID-19. Intuitive eating, mindfulness and self-compassion can turn our external focus back inward, allowing us to tap into the wisdom of our own bodies. And to do this, we must be able to listen to our own needs and turn down the voices of outside influences.

Six years ago, I began working in the field of eating disorder treatment. While diet culture is in no way the sole cause of eating disorders, it can be incredibly activating and certainly does not help anyone’s recovery process. As I helped to support and guide people in healing their relationship with food and their bodies, I became more and more angry at the “diet culture” we are all daily subject to. I challenged myself to begin examining my own behaviors and core beliefs around food and my body. I leaned into the discomfort and got painfully honest about the negative behaviors and beliefs that I engaged in and at times even cultivated. And I realized that if I was to preach freedom from this suffocating chaos to others, I had to first be free myself.

SO, WHAT DID THIS PROCESS LOOK LIKE?

Well, I examined the chronic need to lose 10 pounds (or so I thought). The daily weighing and seeking approval from my bathroom scale. Guilt if I gained even a single pound. Negative body image. My relentless inner critic shaming me throughout the day. Perfectionism. Moderate food restriction and diets. While this was a different path than one who might be struggling with taking even a small bite, it was also an important journey.

No, I did not have anorexia. But why did I weigh myself every day? Why was I afraid of certain foods? Why did I constantly feel the need to change myself? Why did I struggle so much to accept my body? I stopped exercising rigorously and I had a major shift in my perception.

To my surprise, my body DID NOT CHANGE, at least not that much. I slowly began to trust my body. I stopped censoring the food I was eating, and most of the time I ate when hungry and I stopped when full. It’s a miracle how much easier it is to not overeat when you haven’t deprived yourself throughout the day! I think the fear underlying this kind of freedom is often externally imposed on by diet culture. We are taught that if we don’t do drastic things—like buy those supplements or join that gym—we will just keep gaining and gaining. We undermine our metabolism and our own innate instincts. I started exercising again when it came from a place of desire versus a place of fear and shame.

Through trusting myself, I learned that my body has a natural place it wants to be.

If I honor and accept this, I can innately listen to what my body wants versus trying to change or control it. I can trust my hunger cues and move my body in ways that feel good and in ways that align with my values. For me this looks like three meals and three snacks each day. All food is good; nothing is forbidden. I began enjoying those “off limit” foods in moderation such as cake, fries and mac-and-cheese. And I love fruits and veggies. I engage my body joyfully through peaceful walks, hiking, yoga and running. I ditched CrossFit. Why? Because I HATED it. That’s just me. Today, I get to listen to what sounds good and what my body needs. This ultimately frees up A LOT more time and energy for the things that really matter!

I believe that it is vitally important to examine our relationship with food and our bodies. Body image affects almost all areas of our life. Our relationships—romantic and platonic alike—our performance at school and work, and our sexual choices and experiences. How do you know if this journey is for you? It can be really clarifying to start with being gentle and curious with yourself.

Think about these questions to investigate your own personal experience:

How would you describe your relationship with your body?
When you think of your body, what comes to mind? What thoughts and feelings come to mind? How do you deal with these thoughts and feelings? What do you tell yourself about these thoughts and feelings?
What are the physical characteristics you may need to accept about yourself?
What are the negative body image thoughts you need to reduce or eliminate?
What are the situations you would like to feel more comfortable in?
What beliefs and behaviors do you need to change to be less invested in appearance-based self-worth?
What are the consequences or impacts that your body image struggles produce, and what do you want to change?

5 philosophies for caring for your body

Not every one of these may feel right for you; explore a few and see how they work.

SELF-COMPASSION

Treating ourselves with kindness can motivate us internally and allow us to show more compassion externally. There are a number of misunderstandings about self-compassion. For example, the core belief that self-compassion will make a person selfish or lazy, but science proves otherwise. Self-compassion is an inner resource that helps us survive adversity, build resiliency, and it motivates us to achieve our goals. We receive more energy and motivation from love versus fear.

INTUITIVE EATING

Avoid giving moral value to food. An intuitive eater is defined as a person who “makes food choices without experiencing guilt or an ethical dilemma, honors hunger, respects fullness and enjoys the pleasure of eating.”

MINDFUL EATING

Maintaining an in-the-moment awareness of the food and fluid you put into your body. It involves observing how the food makes you feel and the signals your body sends about taste, satisfaction, and fullness.

JOYFUL MOVEMENT

Joyful movement is a way of approaching physical activity that emphasizes pleasure and choice. Exercise often feels compulsory — it’s done to earn food or burn off food, and to punish the body for not fitting into arbitrary and unrealistic ideals. Joyful movement recognizes the right to rest as well as the benefits of rest, and your choice in whether to engage with it or not. How do you find joy in movement? Well, what did you love to do as a kid? What do you look forward to versus dread? Do you enjoy walking your dog, or do you prefer going to a candlelight yoga class? Listen to your body and do what feels good.

MIRROR WORK

What I really love about mirror work is that it can be a combination of intimately connecting with yourself, as well as exposure to yourself. We can intimately connect when looking into our own eyes while stating affirmations. Louise Hay’s Mirror Workbook takes you on this journey in “Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life.” Mirror work can also be repeatedly standing in front of your mirror, becoming more comfortable with all parts of your body. When doing this, it is important to set all judgement aside. This needs to be an exercise that is either neutral or affirming. If you find yourself criticizing, you may not be ready to take this step.

Taking the time to utilize these resources have aided in the ongoing journey of self-acceptance for both myself and for so many others. With the holidays approaching these practices can be especially helpful. Purposefully focusing your attention on the present can help you embrace companionship, connectivity, and overall contentment and help make the season of celebration more meaningful for you and your loved ones.

Nutrition, Self-Love
Dec, 02, 2020

Witch Wounds And Good Girl Myths

We just closed our spooky season, but some are still feeling the witchy vibes abound. The witch archetype is portrayed in our society as an outcast — a spell binding recluse, capable of only evil. She is to be feared. Or is she just misunderstood? In recent history, many researchers have begun to explore the misunderstanding of this archetype and just how detrimental it has been in the women of our society.

They deem it the Witch Wound.

It is a wound that all women carry that impacts their ability to live as their sovereign self. Women are left feeling like they are not enough, don’t have a voice, and are not safe to express themselves in their full capacity. Sound familiar? Keep reading.

Long ago, women were the hinge of their tribes as a vessel for new life. They were the life-givers, healers, midwives, medicine women, and, above all, had a voice within the tribe as “the wise one.” The power of a woman was honored through divine feminine energy: emotion, creativity, intuition, flow, nurture. A woman who was connected to the earth, relied on her intuition, and lived in flow without fear of sharing this knowledge was known as a witch of sorts. In fact, the mere etymology of the word witch is derived from the term “wicca” or “wise woman,” a complete misunderstanding from the archetype we are programmed to fear and avoid in today’s world.

The intersection of the patriarchy and religion

In Europe centuries ago these institutions denounced many of these tribal healers, particularly Pagan women, as “evil doers” as their knowledge and gifts often threatened the agenda of those institutions. Women who stood in assertion, held knowledge of healing, or lived outside the “good girl” rules were burned at the stake. It’s estimated nearly one hundred thousand women have been condemned and executed over the course of history for their connections to the witch. In a complete gendercide, women were almost guaranteed to be accused at some point in their lives.

Generational Trauma and the witch wound

To understand that women innately carry a Witch Wound is to understand the science of generational trauma. Generational trauma, in a nutshell, is the idea that the trauma in which our ancestors endured biologically changes the expression of the epigenetics in subsequent generations. In other words, trauma can be inherited and can change our psychology or the way in which we react to the world. Think: deep seated fear and anxiety that one doesn’t quite understand, but full on feel it during certain situations. All women in today’s world carry the trauma of the witch wound because many of our female ancestors and the collective of our feminine energy endured the prosecution of women in the witch hunts of the late Middle Age. Whether they were accused or executed, this trauma has stuck into our programming into the modern age.

The Persistence of the Witch Wound in Modern Times

Despite the fact that women are no longer violently burned at the stake here in the US (ps: this is still occurring elsewhere in our world), condemnation of women still exists in less seemingly obvious ways. One of my favorite authors, Majo Molfino, is an expert in this realm and has discovered that there are 5 myths in which many women align themselves to to fit the role of the “good girl” to prove they don’t fit the mold of what our witchy ancestors were burned for (read about it here). Today, the Witch Wound translates into women being “good girls”. Good girls follow rules, they strive to make their homes, careers, children, etc. perfect because they believe the things they do equate to who they are. Good girls believe in what they have been told, rather than utilize their intuition or empirical knowledge. They do not stand in their own truth if it means harmony will be disrupted in their inner circles, families, or careers. They tend to others at the expense of themselves and burn out. All women have all been a victim of these rules at one point in their lives.

Reclaiming the Power of the Witch Within

Women often feel uncomfortable with the idea of a witch; she is the obscure, ugly, typically without a man, often evil, and is ostracized by society. We fear her, the power she holds, and everything she stands for. It’s a misunderstanding that has been programmed into a woman’s literal genes over the course of history. However, the reality is that there is a part of you dying to fall back into the natural rhythm of the energy of Earth and into your sovereign self. The further you press into your desire to break free of the bullshit that takes you out of your own power, the more aware you become of how each invisible rule holds you back from being your own sacred self; a woman who honors herself wholly and stands assertive in her own truth without fear of condemnation.

I implore you to explore further into your own witchy ways. I’m not talking about cooking up spells (although equally as empowering); I’m talking about really having power over your own truth as a woman. Do your research on the invisible good girl rules. Explore how they hold you back. Find ways to release that programming. Let go of the idea that a witch is one to fear; she’s not. She is you.

She is the dream you secretly hold for yourself; the one you daydream about at your shitty 9-5. She is a desire in you to say fuck the rules and forge her own sovereign path. She is your shaky voice around the table of men, rusted beyond years. She is the voice telling you to take the risk on the crop top you love, despite what others may think about your midriff that kept your babies safe as they grew. She is your mama bear intuition and voice inside your head, the one nobody in your family seems to understand.

She is the wise woman who keeps it all together. She is the inner knowing that she is fucking magic and deserves for others to know it too.

Let her out.

Heal your Witch Wound, babe.

She is the wise woman who keeps it all together. She is the inner knowing that she is fucking magic and deserves for others to know it too. Let her out. Heal your Witch Wound, babe.

BR

Spiritual
Nov, 07, 2020

Why Shopping Small Is More Important Than Ever

Over the last few years, shopping small has gotten chic. But there are more reasons why you should shop local than just following the trend. Shopping at local stores, for local food, and with small business owners is a win-win for everyone involved. Here are a few examples of why it’s more important than ever to shop small.

It’s Sustainable

I’m sure you’ve heard it already, “Shopping small is more sustainable”. But what does that really mean? A lot of different things, actually.

If you’re shopping for locally produced foods, it’s more sustainable because the food isn’t transported as far, cutting down on vehicle emissions. Because the commute — so to speak — is shorter for local produce, you’re also benefiting by eating fresher, more nutrient-dense food! And you’re more likely to shop what is naturally in season, which encourages farmers to work their land with more respect for the natural capabilities of the Earth (less chemicals and depletion of the soil!).

With less chemicals and more nutrient-dense foods, you can nourish your body and staying healthier throughout the year!

For instance, did you know that locally produced honey and elderberry syrup can help you fight seasonal allergies and cold/flu symptoms (you can do a quick online search to learn more from professionals)?

If you decide to shop at a local boutique, chances are they have a partnership with other local small business owners, non-profits, or organizations that are doing good for the community. This means that every time you spend money with them, you’re not only giving the shop money but also all the other people who are involved in the process!

Local shops are also more often concerned with sustainable packaging, shipping, and production. You can have more control over making low-to-no plastic purchases, buying in bulk, and saving money/resources on shipping. For instance, see if you can find a no-plastic store in your area where you can buy shampoo and conditioner in bulk. Just bring a clean, empty shampoo or conditioner bottle to the store and fill it up!

Bottom line: Momma Earth thanks you when you shop local!

It Builds Community

In more ways than one, shopping local builds community. The most obvious way is that most local shop owners are very familiar with their clients and therefore have a better, more loyal relationship with them. Here’s a story about just that:

Earlier this year, I was shopping in a local boutique in my hometown (Charlotte, NC). As I was walking around the store, I noticed a needlepoint hanging on the wall. This needlepoint looked familiar to me — very similar to one that had hung in my parents’ house in my childhood. I snapped a picture and sent it to my mom.

Immediately, I received a phone call from my mom, “That’s our needlepoint! I accidentally gave it away and thought I’d never see it again!”. My heart began to race — what was I going to do? Were they selling it? Would they give it back to us?

In short, I approached the person working at the shop and told her the story. We spent 15 minutes talking about how incredibly serendipitous the day had turned out to be before taking the needlepoint down and bringing it out to my car.

This store is now my favorite boutique in town and I have become a loyal customer. Would that have happened at a Target? Definitely not. I guess it’s all about what you’re looking for. I, for one, am looking for a place that feels like home as soon as I walk through the door.

How to Start Shopping Small

If you’re looking for ways to shop local but aren’t sure how to start, a great way to begin is by checking out the website for your local Chamber of Commerce. Many small businesses will be registered members and should be listed in a directory. Social media is also a great way to find small, local businesses. Where are your friends shopping? Next time they post that cute new plant in their Instagram stories, click on the handle of the shop they tag and see where it takes you!

Sustainability
Oct, 05, 2020

How we transitioned to a plant based family

My family of five (including three kids under the age of 5) has been plant-based for over a year now. Interchangeably, we use the term vegan, but I will point out that we are not fully vegan.

What’s the difference? Being vegan is a lifestyle where you avoid all animal products or products that involve animal cruelty in their processing. For example, beef, eggs, leather purses, and mascara tested on animals are all off limits. People are more accustomed to the term “vegan” over “whole-foods, plant-based diet”, which is why we often use the terms interchangeably. A whole-foods plant-based diet is exactly what it says it is; you aim to eat mostly fresh foods in their whole, natural form, and that most of your diet is composed of plants or things from the earth. Some people consume small amounts of dairy or meat on a plant-based diet, however, we do not. A few years ago I had a conversation with someone about a vegan diet and thought that it was absolutely impossible for the kids, but here we are today! If a plant-based diet and lifestyle change is something you are interested in, I’m here to tell you that you can do it!

WHY WE CHANGED OUR DIET

After going through some personal health issues in our family we began researching alternative diets. It was during this time that we learned about the harmful effects our diet and lifestyle had had on our bodies. We realized that a more intentional diet would promote long, happy, and healthy lives. We also realized that the animal industry as a whole is incredibly cruel and harmful to the environment (let’s be honest, we already knew that, but we finally decided to acknowledge it).

I’ll note here that many of our vegan and sustainability habits—like composting—developed at this point, but a vegan diet is not automatically a healthy diet. More to come on that below. A plant-based diet has been proven to improve your immunity, decrease inflammation, improve digestion, and decrease your risk of heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, and diabetes. Anecdotally, people frequently report feeling better with this diet and feel full faster since they are absorbing more calories and nutrients without junk in their system. You can read these highlights from MD Anderson and Healthline for more of an introduction to these concepts.

I mentioned that we started researching this path due to personal reasons.

I had been feeling poorly for a long time and was suffering from ulcers and mouth sores and was struggling with eating. I was looking for ways to reduce inflammation and fatigue.
Our daughter had been diagnosed with a genetic disorder which had some similarities with the Autism Spectrum and I was researching gluten-free, casein-free diets and any impact they could possibly have.
We learned more about sustainability and many hidden issues in the food industry. We couldn’t ignore it any longer. This sent us down a rabbit hole of information and it was honestly an exciting experience to read, learn, and grow together—feeling empowered to take control of our own health. Many diets out there seemed to replace “taboo” foods with processed foods, and a whole-foods plant-based diet just made sense for us. It naturally tends to be gluten minimal, casein-free, can be vegan, and removes a lot of options to eat processed crap that we had previously consumed for so long.

THE BEGINNING

The first month was the hardest. We essentially relearned how to cook and shop and therefore we often didn’t know what to eat. We had previously been in a groove with meat, dairy, and frozen foods in our rotations of meals and grocery shopping and we had to rethink it all.

My husband and I lost about 5-10 pounds each as we began to remove some of the junk out of our meals. After a few months, I noticed I was feeling full sooner since my body was actually absorbing calories and nutrients. I ate less each meal and my heartburn went away. Our digestion changed a lot (no one really prepared us for this)! Our twin girls stopped having constipation within the first few weeks and everyone in the house was very regular! I also noticed that a lot of my bloating and cramping improved (but of interest, didn’t go away fully until I cut down on my alcohol intake). Slowly we got into a good rhythm and our new lifestyle felt completely normal to us.

If You Want to, You Can Do It too

Do the Research

Don’t make any changes until you know what you’re doing (mostly). Research a few different diets, watch credible documentaries, read related books and cookbooks. You don’t need to be an expert, but you should have some information under your belt before getting started. I recommend Forks Over Knives as a great documentary, book, and cookbook to start.

GET THE WHOLE FAMILY ON BOARD

Not to say that it can’t be done, but the transition will be so much harder if you have one or two people eating one way in your home and one or two people eating another way. Get everyone on board with the change and decide how you will take on this diet together. Will you only eat home cooked meals? Will you only be plant-based when home or at restaurants and parties, too? Make sure you involve every family member who is old enough to understand while you do the research. If everyone doesn’t understand the “why,” they’re not going to be totally on board.

RESTOCK YOUR PANTRY

Your pantry will likely need a complete overhaul to ensure it’s stocked with all the essential nutrients you need (and to keep you focused). A few staples that we have in our pantry are coconut oil, unsweetened organic applesauce, lentils, black and garbanzo beans, steel cut oats, tahini, nutritional yeast, flaxseed, hemp seed, chia seed, and walnuts. Little by little, clear most of the processed food and meat products out of your home. Be sure to read labels for hidden dairy if you plan to eliminate it fully (it’s in so many things!).

PREP YOUR KITCHEN

No reno needed, but you will need a good setup since you’ll be preparing most if not all of your own meals. Set yourself up with plenty of food prep space! Sharpen your knives, get a food processor and/or a blender. Other gadgets we like are an avocado slicer, peeler, and strainer. You can find Amazon links to My Favorite Things on my website for more!

GO SLOW

If you go cold-turkey your chances of success are slim because you will feel deprived and miserable. Don’t toss out all your food. Slowly use up your meat products and don’t replace them. Going dairy-free too? Instead of cow’s milk, try almond or soy milk (but be sure to read the ingredients to buy clean, whole products). We like lentils, beans, and falafel in place of meat, and avocados and hummus in place of cheese, but in the beginning we bought lots of tofu “chicken” nuggets and meatless “meatballs” to get the kids (and us) used to things as a temporary bridge.

USE RECIPES AS INSPIRATION, NOT A RULE

You’ll drive yourself crazy if you need a recipe for every meal. You’ll also drive up your bill if you try to find each and every ingredient that someone else used in their fancy blog post. My biggest success has been using recipes for inspiration and then making a meal that is similar based on the ingredients I already have.

ONE MEAL FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY

People often ask me how we got the kids to eat (and love) things like kale, hummus, broccoli, and soup. The biggest answer is that we only offer one meal. When they get hungry they will eat it. Yes, this means that sometimes they don’t eat, but everyone is doing well in weight and growth. We aren’t as strict as we sound; we do allow room for personal preferences (I mean, I don’t like mushrooms, so I don’t expect them to like everything either!). Our 4 year old son and 3 year old twin daughters have vivid imaginations, so we also talk very openly about food as a source of nutrition and medicine. Those carrots make your eyes strong, this kale will help you to have energy, those little hemp seeds (a great source of protein) will make you grow big and strong!

BE INTENTIONAL WITH FOOD CHOICES - Plan for nutritional needs

Be sure you get enough Zinc, Iron, Calcium, and B12. Many of our processed foods are fortified with these supplements, meaning they are added to them in the factory. Therefore you could lose out on some of these if you reduce your processed animal based foods and don’t replace them with whole foods! If you are getting lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, you will naturally be getting what you need (including plenty of fiber). Lentils, beans, and seeds will give you enough protein. If you don’t take in any meat, you must take a B12 supplement to avoid anemia. Sadly, our soil has evolved overtime and it doesn’t contain enough to support the human body. Animals are often injected with B12 as well because of this. The good news is there is a variety of supplement options available! Our family has never been anemic and we don’t take any iron supplements. Don’t assume something labeled as “plant-based” or “vegan” is “good” for you. It’s important to always read labels and know what you are consuming.

BRING YOUR OWN FOOD OR BE PREPARED TO "CHEAT" AT TIMES

Decide what you’ll do outside of your home. If you plan to continue this diet at work or at parties, then be prepared to bring your own food. No one will invite you to anything if you expect them to prepare you special food. We often bring fruits and veggies on the go with us so we don’t feel tempted to drive through Wendy’s for french fries (which are indeed plant-based and vegan, but not good for you, see?). When we go out to dinner, we sometimes have to make vegetarian choices instead of vegan choices. We chose to allow for some flexibility so we aren’t stressed in socially-busy situations, but we are conscious not to make a habit out of it.

There was a time when I thought a plant-based diet was impossible for not only myself, but my entire family. Now I’m happy to say that we are all healthier than ever and are so happy with the change. Whether plant-based or another diet is right for you, remember to be intentional with your decision. Whatever you choose, make sure it is in alignment with your goals and add value to your life!

Lifestyle
Sep, 07, 2020

Reflecting On Pregnancy Loss

He looked over at the table where our two children sat, “Do you ever imagine what it would be like if that table was full over there?”

At first I didn’t grasp his meaning.

And then he continued, “You know, if the three babies we lost were sitting at that table too. Do you ever imagine what that would be like if they were all here—5 in total?”

This caught me completely off guard and I immediately started tearing up.

My husband doesn’t talk about those three babies a lot. In fact, it’s easy to assume that I carried the majority of that pain. But in that moment, I felt incredibly connected with him. Connected to my children, to the ones I have with me and the ones I’ve lost. Which is a rare moment… when I feel us all connected at the same time.

Meghan Markle recently released an article articulating her experience with pregnancy loss and I couldn’t help but feel empathy for her. Anyone who has suffered this unimaginable loss knows that you immediately feel connected to another who has gone through the same thing. It becomes this quiet pact; where if you’ve experienced the same thing, you can’t help but say, “Hey, I’ve been through that too.” Because it’s a loss that feels completely isolating and vast and never ending.

I felt the largest brunt of that pain with my first loss. I was consumed with depression, and it took me months to even call it that. I was quiet about the loss at first… and then I began to tell everyone who would listen, word vomiting my story, really, in order to feel some sort of connection to my lost baby and our experience.

After you experience a loss like that every pregnancy after is different. You guard yourself, afraid to let yourself hope, afraid to give that baby too much love, to give him or her too much of a future because you’re scared that it will shatter at any moment.

You get angry when you see expectant mothers glowing as they shop for their bundle of joy. Jealous when you see new mothers pushing strollers down the sidewalk with a smile on their face. You want to scream at women who get pregnant by “accident” and complain about not feeling well.

I’ve been pregnant 5 times, but only have two children here with me today.

My first baby would have been 8 years old. And the other two would have been 6 and 5. I lost the first one at 12 weeks and the next two both around 6 weeks.

For the most part I’ve moved on with my life. How can you not? But then I’ll have moments like the one I just shared where it feels like yesterday. Suddenly all the memories flood in with speed and clarity…

When the doctor told me that there was no heartbeat.

When the contractions started coming.

When I spotted the beginning of blood flow.

The never-ending tears and my husband’s face searching and not knowing what to do.

I have lost more babies than I have been able to keep… and this something that will always startle me.

Personal Story
Sep, 01, 2020

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