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Why You Might Be Attracting Unhealthy Partners

Video Transcript

I get this question a lot: Why am I attracting partners that are emotionally unavailable or physically unavailable? There can be a few answers for that. But the most common answers I find are:

Self- Protection

They’re trying to protect themselves from being vulnerable, from being hurt, from loss. It’s really hard for some people to open up to someone and allow themselves to feel that joy, knowing that as much joy as they feel, they will equally feel as much sadness if something were to happen to them or if they were to leave.

Which is inevitable, right? In this world that we live in, there’s a constant cycle of death and rebirth. Sometimes that just means you break up, or it wasn’t meant to be, or it’s run its course… No matter what the outcome is there’s always lessons—no matter what, in any relationship we have. There’s good stuff for us to learn from, take in, and integrate.

Unworthiness

The second reason that people tend to attract people who are physically or emotionally unavailable is this feeling as though they’re not worthy of anyone. Or as though they will inherently ruin something. Or they’ll open up to someone and that person will eventually see them for who they truly are. And they may believe that who they truly are is unworthy, undeserving, or terrible.

This can lead to self-sabatoshing by purposefully choosing partners that are in a relationship with someone else, or who refuse to commit, or who refuse to treat them with integrity, love, and respect. This idea that we are inherently broken is really prominent in people who attract unhealthy partners because if they were attracting people that were giving them their full attention and their time, they would be in their worth—and they’re not. They’re attracting people that are:

  • Disrespecting them
  • Not being present with them
  • Not giving them everything they deserve

These are the main two reasons why people attract unavailable people, and if you’re one of those people ask yourself these questions:

Why do you attract them?

Why do you want them?

What does it serve?

Does it protect something?

Does it help something?

Does it help keep you small or safe?

Does it save you from having to see if you truly are worthy and deserving of someone who is just as incredible as you are?

Is it to stop you from taking responsibility for yourself in the way you need to show up for somebody else?

There’s lots of questions you can ask, and if you’re curious about this visit Mystic Rose Medicine or connect with me on Instagram—we can talk about why you may be attracting people who are not on your level and are  not helping you get to where you want to be.

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Honoring Yourself During the Holidays

How to pay attention to your triggers during the holiday season—and how to return the focus to yourself and your values.

Video Transcript

Something really interesting happens around the holidays. People get tested and triggered by their families, by society, random folks on the side of the road, social media… Everyone gets triggered by something—and it’s our job to figure out why it triggers us, why it bothers us, why it brings up something within us that is frustrating. Or maybe it’s bringing up a feeling of lack or unworthiness or a feeling that we are alone or unheard, or unvalidated.

Check In With Yourself

As we move through the holidays, check in with yourself. Are you setting boundaries with your family? Are you prioritizing your own needs, your own rituals, your traditions, things that bring you joy? Not just things that bring other people joy or expectations that have been put on you due to generational patterns or expectations.

I think there is also something to be said about living in a society that is obsessed with consumerism and getting new and shiny things. In reality we can have values that align with certain things we want to get, but at the end of the day, we’ve turned these holidays into something less about what were grateful for—our traditions, focusing on the things we’ve cultivated and created for our own families or our own selves to find joy in something that is really meaningful to us. So, notice how you give in to “the norms” of the holidays.

Pay Attention to What Bothers You

What comes up?
Why does it bother you?
Is there a boundary that needs to be placed?
Does something need attention, love, adoration, validation?
Do you need to speak up for yourself?

There’s lots of ways to go about this, but simply checking in with yourself and feeling what’s going on in your body and noticing when things are frustrating. Noticing when things are agitating—like when you’re driving in traffic and someone cuts you off, because everyone is holiday shopping. Is that what’s really bothering you? Or is there something that’s happened earlier that’s getting you all riled up?

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How to Anoint Your Tarot Deck

Video Transcript:

Learn how to anoint your tarot deck!

You’ll want to anoint your decks to create a stronger connection with them. This is not something that I’ve always done in my practice, but my guides encouraged it recently and it has completely changed the game within my divination and tarot practice.

My friend has tried this ritual and it has changed how she works and connects with her decks as well. In her words, one deck of hers in particular was kind of a bitch to her (energetically) before she anointed it, and after she anointed it, it completely changed the trajectory of how she worked with that particular deck. It changed the personality, it changed the connection, it changed the answers in a way that felt resonative to her.

Start your ritual with cleansing your deck—removing any unwanted energies. For this example, I am using the Pagan Otherworlds tarot deck. I am smoke cleansing with white copal on a charcoal disk.

You’ll need an oil of your choosing.

Things to Consider for Your Anointing Oil

  • Should be personal to you

  • Could be a perfume

  • You can buy it at a store

  • Red Tiger Balm*

If you choose to make your own oil, use an oil base of your choice, and mix with whatever herbs you want! You can use herbs that are magically associated with divination, herbs you just like in general, or even herbs associated with your spirit team or guide/deity of your choosing. Here is a recipe to make your own divination oil.

The term or action of anointing means:

To smear, rub, or apply a substance, like oil, in a ritual for divine purposes and/or connection. It’s an act to declare that this item is sacred and connected to the person using it and/or the divine.

Anoint your deck to connect it to yourself, so you can receive better, easier answers that you can understand and have a deeper connection with the deck.

How to Anoint Your Tarot Deck

  1. Cleanse your tarot deck; you can use smoke, sound, or any other cleansing modality of your choosing

  2. Apply a drop of your anointing oil to the palm of your hands, rubbing between your palms

  3. Rub all four edges of your deck into your palms, where the oil is located

  4. Take a deep breath to ground you energy and center yourself

  5. Recite your anointing ritual script (see below)

Script for Anointing Your Tarot Deck

“I anoint this tarot deck with this oil that is personal to me. Tarot deck, I ask that when I work you, you connect to my energy, the energy of my guides, and the Divine. May the answers you provide be clear and easy to understand. May the cards pull quickly and resonate quickly to the questions presented. I thank you for your service. You are now connected to my energy through this sacred anointing ritual.”

That’s it! Your deck is now anointed!

If you try this anointing ritual, please let me know if you notice a difference before and after your ritual—I’d love to hear! And let me know what oil you use, what herb blends you use!

 

*Red Tiger Balm is usually used for sore muscles and can be found at your local drugstore. The main active ingredient helps connect with divine energies/high consciousness.

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Are You Disassociating?

Video Transcript 

How to Tell and Shift Your Response

How would you know if you were disassociating or if you were in a place of security through tough times?

The act of dissociation and escaping can look like:

Procrastination
Running away from the problems at hand
Leaning into drugs or alcohol, or any other addictive habits that alter your state of being
Filling your schedule with tasks in order to make yourself busy
Moving your mind away from the things that actually need to be done and hyper-fixating or focusing on things that make you feel like you might have some control
Just ignoring what’s really going on

On the other hand, living in a secure place—a place of processing and self-regulation—is knowing what needs to be done and being able to take the action needed, while also knowing and understanding that you have feelings and emotions that need to be heard and processed. Think of it this way: when you’re in a secure place, you take everything in digestible pieces. This helps you move through each facet with a sense of certainty. Being able to slowly compartmentalize one task at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed by the big picture or everything that might be going on in your life. 

Underneath dissociation is typically a fear or a sadness. For some, it can feel unsettling and restless, while to others it can feel hollow and numb. This is due to the fact that we are human beings and we all handle things in very different ways. The construct of being human is such a spectrum of emotions and feelings, that sadness to one person may feel different to another. Just like escaping for one person could be alcoholism or addictions that alter the mind, whereas addictions and escapism for someone else could look like shopping or obsessive gaming.

What it Means to Act from a Secure Place

On the other hand, the feeling of being secure even through darkness, is anchored in clear introspections. You’ll know you’re in a secure place when you can organize your thoughts and manage your hardships in a way that is honoring where you are, your environment, and staying grounded in what you know to be true. And also grounded in the uncertainty of the fact that you may not know what is going on, the confusion around all of it. It’s also a place where you can allow yourself to feel the challenging emotions that want to be validated. This can look very different for different people. One of the most common ways is when you’re dissociating, you may not be able to feel things. You may not be able to really access your feelings, because it can be a lot. Right? However, when you’re in a secure place, you can still choose to recognize that these feelings, these emotions you’re feeling, need to be regulated at a different time and place. For instance, let’s say you get into a car accident. You need to make sure that you’re safe, you’re okay. You’re parked at the side of the road. You process everything in tandem. Someone who is in a really secure place, at that moment, will be able to do everything that they need to do. And then as soon as they get home or as soon as they have the mental capacity to process what happened, they’ll let all of their emotions and feelings out to be recognized and be validated. It doesn’t mean they ignored them (their feelings), it just means that they recognized there were things that needed to get done right now, and they can’t break down because they have safety-checks and processes that need to be attended to before they can really settle in and process everything that’s happened emotionally.

Your Emotions and Levels of Security Will Flow

All that being said, when things are really heard—like really hard—these feelings that we hold within our bodies begin to move in waves. Meaning that no one is in a secure place all the time. That same person who may have been able to be really secure during that car accident, may be completely unregulated and unable to feel secure a few days later when they are triggered by something else. It’s a spectrum of how you move towards and away from our security and into dysregulation. And some people spend more time on one side of the scale than the other, but regardless, we are human so it’s a very fluid process for everyone of having things come up allow coping mechanisms to come forward to protect us.

The point is, if you are escaping from the world around you…there are these parts, these aspects of the self, that do this to protect you from harm—whether it be emotional, physical, irrational or rational. It’s a coping mechanism meant to keep you safe. Our minds do this all the time unconsciously. Some of the protection mechanisms are productive while others are dysfunctional. The purpose of escaping is to remove ourselves mentally from stressful situations in fear of an outcome or experience. So if you’re someone that struggles with escaping through things like shopping, cleaning, or playing video games just remember to notice. Pay attention to your body. Pay attention to your coping mechanisms and ask why. Why do I want to be somewhere else right now? Why doesn’t it feel safe to be in my body right now? What am I running from?

These questions will open up the door to self-exploration as you uncover truths about yourself that you may have never known existed. Dissociating and escaping is not something that is bad or wrong. It’s something we do to protect ourselves, and it’s rooted in trauma.

So if you’re someone who wants to learn more about your coping mechanisms or learn more about how to understand how you process things—or just be more aware of your emotions and your states of being internally, go to my website at mysticrosemedicine.com to learn more about my offerings.

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Kintsugi–A Philosophy for Life

I was chatting with a friend about our apparent moments of brokenness. About how when nothing seems like it will ever be repaired, we start to mend, becoming even more beautiful than before. This is when the topic of Kintsugi came up. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold—a metaphor for embracing your flaws and imperfections.

Looking at life with this perspective: what if instead of covering our scars, we embrace them for the story they tell. They are part of our journey in this life that adds to the depth of who we are. Kintsugi is a term that is closely related to Wabi-sabi—which means to embrace and accept your imperfections. So instead of aligning the pieces of broken pottery back together, it focuses on embracing and accepting ourselves, just as you are now.

So, how can you apply this concept to your life today? How can you take what you feel is broken and find acceptance, or even beauty? I’m a believer that things happen for a reason. And sometimes, we must go through the hurt to see the beauty in life.

Applying Kintsugi to Your Life

An object can be perfect, pristine, and beautiful. When it falls and breaks you either repair it or throw it out. Would you get rid of yourself because you were seemingly broken into pieces?

I think the answer is no. You would fix what was broken and find a way to place the pieces back together again no matter how much work it may be. You do this with an extra level of depth. The gold in this case are tools to heal, mending your pain, allowing you to become whole again. You become even more beautiful than you initially were. You have evolved and experienced. You have reached a whole new level of beauty—added a whole new chapter to our story with this beautiful layer of depth and complexity.

As you grow and begin to learn, you may fall in your pursuit to master a new skill—like when you fall when learning to ride a bike. Your physical body can bear the remains of your battle scars. Emotional wounds, like a broken heart or the loss of a loved one, don’t reflect a physical wound, yet we don’t forget because of the impact they have left on us. All of these examples are a part of what makes life, life. Life that cannot be erased, but must be accepted and embraced. Finding the calm and mindset that allows this, can feel unnatural at first, especially if you have emotions to sort and process through yet. But it’s the process of putting the pieces back together. You pick up the scattered pieces and put them (yourself) back together—coming back to yourself, more beautiful and experienced than who you were before.

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Make Your Own Divination Oil

Are you looking to enhance your connection to yourself and spirit while doing divination activities? Make your own divination oil to use while divining! You can add a drop or two of this divination oil to your hands and third eye before dropping into meditation or using your tarot deck, pendulum, or other divination device.

This divination oil recipe was made with ingredients that have properties to help you connect to your inner wisdom, your higher self, and your psychic abilities. You can use whatever ratio you want, really (witchcraft can be flexible in that way), but it doesn’t require a large amount of dry ingredients—depending on how large your jar is, of course. I typically recommend selecting the jar you want to contain the oil in first. Here are some options: 2mL amber glass vials, 10mL amber glass bottles.

Clear Divining Oil Recipe

Ingredients

  • Organic jojoba oil

  • Almond, flour or 1 crushed almond

  • Bay leaf, dried

  • Dandelion, dried

  • Hibiscus, dried

  • Lilac, dried

  • 1–2 drops of jasmine essential oil (optional)

Directions

  1. Start with cleansing all your ingredients in your preferred method. Example: I like to cleanse my dry ingredients, oil, and jar/container in incense smoke.

  2. Note that your herb to oil ratio should be about 1:4. Put another way, your jar should be about 25% filled with the herb ingredients and then filled to the top with oil.

  3. Combine your dry ingredients with a mortar and pestle, while concentrating on activating the ingredients with the powers they naturally hold. I typically will speak aloud why I am adding each individual ingredient (see below). For example, I’ll say aloud, “Almond, I add you to this divination oil to connect me to and increase my own wisdom.” And continue in the same manner with the rest of the ingredients.

  4. Add the dry ingredients to the jar, until it’s about 25% full.

  5. If you want the oil to hold a fragrance, you can add 1–2 drops of jasmine essential oil to your mix (note: look for essential oil, not fragrance oil).

  6. Fill your jar to the top with jojoba oil, being careful to not overfill if you need to leave room for a dropper.

  7. Let the oil sit for 3 days in a dark space so the herbs can steep before using.

Why You Want to Use These Ingredients for a Divination Oil

I’ve suggested these ingredients for a divination oil specifically for their magickal properties.

Almond = wisdom

Bay leaf = psychic abilities, divination, and wisdom

Dandelion = psychic abilities, intuition, spiritual and emotional cleanser

Hibiscus – divination

Lilac = psychic abilities

Jasmine = divination and prophecy

 

Now that you’ve made your Clear Divining Oil, you can Anoint Your Tarot Deck—an additional practice to get clearer answers while divining!

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How to Find the Root-Cause of an Emotion and Rewire It

We’ve all been there. The feeling of overwhelm; maybe it’s anxiety, frustration, or general unease. Everything above the surface seems to be the cause, but more often than not, there is a baseline core wound activating this “random” blast of emotion that is vigorously affecting your ability to reason and disrupting your nervous system, causing you to be completely dysregulated. 

Now, you may be thinking, “What if I just get frustrated at traffic” or “dealing with tech stresses me out”; and I’m here to tell you, yes, these too have core beliefs and wounds around them that activate you; otherwise, you wouldn’t get overwhelmed. Want some examples? Okay, we’ll get into it, but I want to preface that I will speak to sub-personalities and parts in this article. If you haven’t heard of these terms, don’t worry, I got you. I wrote an article on the topic last month; to view it, you can click here. Just know that it will help you make sense of the terminology if you have non-clue what I’m talking about.

Judgment Wound

Okay! To start off with an example, let’s go with the traffic one first. This person, let’s call them Teddy, is obviously upset. They are yelling, honking, or cussing, or maybe all three at the people around them. They are showing judgment (belief), and now they are all wound up and irritated (a consequence of that belief), which can stem from several different places. Maybe they grew up in a household where the adults around them exhibited judgmental behavior (this would be your wounded child), or perhaps it was shadow. They judge themselves so harshly and have rejected that part of themselves that they then project that judgment onto others. Still, the root cause of judgment is low self-worth. Whether judging someone else (putting someone down to make yourself feel better) or judging yourself (showing your subconscious you are lacking in some way), both come from a place of lack. The goal is to feel your emotion, notice where the wounding is coming from (which sub-personality/part of you), follow that to the belief that created it, and then discover the root cause of that belief. Let’s look at another example that’s a little bit different.

Imposter Syndrome

Say you are dealing with imposter syndrome in your career and are struggling to show up for yourself. What is the core belief here? Is it that you aren’t good enough? Is it that you feel unsafe taking up space? Is it that you feel powerless? The next part of this thread is discovering what part of you has this wounding. Is it your inner child? Is it your inner critic? For the sake of this example, let’s say it is your inner child. Now, what is the outcome of this belief? Maybe you don’t ask for a raise when you should, or perhaps you let other people walk all over you because you believe they know something that you don’t, or better yet, that they HAVE something within them that you do not. Following this back, you can discover when this belief originated. Process who you grew up around; was this behavior modeled to you? Or did you pick it up as a coping mechanism?

Resolution

The threading process starts with an emotion and, with practice, leads you to the foundation of why you feel this way. Yes, some things are just stressful, but more often than not, they are stressful because of our beliefs around them. Once you understand this core belief, you can go back in time to the memory/memories that implanted this belief in your mind (this is best done in trance with a hypnotherapist). The idea has made you feel like an imposter in your career. It’s in this place that you reframe the narrative by either standing in your power and changing the memory in a way that you stand up for yourself and speak up for your needs or, reparenting your younger self from the wisdom of your secure adult, or maybe you bring in a safe person to help soothe them and give them everything they needed, or perhaps you put yourself in the shoes of the person who hurt you. This can help you understand their own limiting beliefs and realize that you are not singled out in their handouts of pain. It wasn’t personal, and you no longer need to hold onto it. Each person’s healing journey is different, and each person will need a unique formula to process these emotions and limiting beliefs, but how you get to the core wound is always the same; without fail, you will find the root cause of the issues.

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Tests From the Universe

If ‘tests from the universe’ is a foreign concept to you, you’re in luck because we are about to dive deep into what tests look like and how they show up just when you feel like you can’t take them anymore. 

The first time I realized I was being tested by the universe, I was 21. I had failed every test that came my way, from shitty partners to being manipulated by a best friend, choosing to go to a college based on a high school boyfriend, and then dropping out of college by leaving for spring break and not going back. I was sleeping on my best friend’s couch and living day by day, trying to emotionally survive the toxic life I had set up for myself. It was this rock bottom that made me realize all of the tests that had been given to me, and one by one…I failed them, bringing me deeper and deeper into my dysfunctional behavior and unwavering anxiety. 

But one day, I noticed as an opportunity came through, I realized the pattern and how I had reacted in the past to a similar situation…playing small…and choosing not to see the red flags. This was when I did something different…I said no to dating douchebags and women full of toxic masculinity… I moved back in with my parents and fessed up to my immature actions…got two jobs working as a barista during the day, and a cocktail waitress at night. Within a year, I moved into my own place and began unraveling the woundedness within me and the shadow I had rejected. Eight years later, I am still learning, growing, and untying the generational knots and societal burden. During that period, I began to notice the patterns in my life, the rock bottoms, the glorious highs, and the opportunities that took me from one end of the pendulum to the other.

Opportunities are Test

Let’s look at a few examples ranging from relationships to career to finances; hopefully, you will understand what I am speaking about.

Relationships

Okay, starting with relationships, imagine a woman; let’s call her Ginny. Ginny has been in terrible relationships her entire life. Moving from one loser to another, all her partners are judgmental, shallow, and have a tendency to get really angry when they drink. Now imagine Ginny breaking up with her partner and saying good riddance, and a year later, she decides to jump back into the dating pool. The first person she meets seems friendly and open-minded, but after the third date, she notices they drink a lot and care too much about having a nice car and designer clothes. RED FLAG. Sure, they are nice and open-minded, but they still hit on two past patterns of partners that have not worked out. Now, let’s say she notices this and moves on; I would call this “passing a test.” Now, will she be tested again? Maybe, most likely, until she is in her worth. However, passing these tests and choosing not to settle will eventually always bring in an aligned partner.

Career

Alright, let’s look at career. Imagine someone named Alba. Alba has been working for crappy cooperation for four years and is underpaid, overworked, and has to deal with discrimination in the office weekly. They believe they cannot make more money anywhere else and convince themselves of this, which is why they stay and sacrifice their worth. One fine day, they decide that they have had enough and start looking for new job opportunities in their area. To their surprise, they find several jobs that offer them more than what they were making. Now, Alba could have taken any of these jobs, and it would have been an upgrade. Still, they interviewed their potential bosses to find out what they value in an employee and how they keep up company morale and asked them to give a higher wage than what was listed on the job ad. Alba passed this test. They went above and beyond to find a job that suited them rather than trying to suit someone else. Because of this, they got the desired job and were paid $10 over the initial starting wage for the position.

Finances

Now, there are many different ways we can look at finances, but for this example, we are going to use the topic of scarcity—someone who struggles with a fear of not having enough, coming from a place of lack. For this example, we are going to talk about Benjamin. Benjamin has tests come up constantly, always in a whirlwind of scarcity; he finds himself with a car that has been broken into, the next week, he has an unexpected medical bill, and the week after that, his water heater goes out. He is in constant fear that he won’t have enough money. Living paycheck to paycheck, he fears getting a new job that he may like because he believes he will have to take a pay cut; he also worries about going back to school because he can’t afford to pay it off. Do you see the vicious cycle? Benjamin is faced with tests every time an unexpected bill comes up; the difficulty is two things; trust and grace. Will he trust that something good is coming and that the universe will always provide him with what he needs as long as he is active in going up against his fears? Will he find ways to get more income, either by getting another job or selling something that he creates? He could also look into high-demand careers willing to pay for the education. When Benjamin looks outside his fear, he finds opportunities to grow and trust in his future rather than withering away in scarcity.

All of these stories are true from both myself and people I know who all rose above their limiting beliefs and found their worth on the other side. Tests get easier to pass with practice, and the surefire way to notice you are being tested is to look at your triggers and see the patterns around them. The ones that keep coming up ask you to look at them with kind eyes and find a new solution that resonates with your soul’s expression. Be kind to yourself, and do the things that scare you. Through this, you will always find peace on the other side.

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Finding Gratitude in The Hardest Times

How do you find gratitude? Do you hold onto a glimmer of hope? Or faith? One might call it “See the good.” In fact, I’ve received this nice quote on a card before.

Seeing the good is considered a practice of looking for gratitude in the smallest of places around you—and maybe even more so in the hardest times.

But then shit gets real. It’s really easy to let yourself fall into a black hole of sadness when life’s handing you curve balls and hard lessons. As I write this it seems like everyone around me, including myself, are going through major life shifts. Some shifts don’t feel great…but there is always light—even if it is a slim ray of light. IT IS THERE. That small light is a reminder that can bring peace of mind when you are going through a hard time. It’s a gift of grace that allows us to more easily trust and accept that all will work out in the end…even when you’re having doubts.

“Train your mind to see the good in all things.” —Paul Walker

Maybe it’s knowing that you have already been through so much and that life always works out as it should because it always does. Or maybe life is just starting to throw those curveballs. We don’t have to know ‘the why.’ We just have to trust. That’s the light that is necessary for us to root in.

I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreak and grief and everything in between. What has always helped me was aiming to look for the good—even if the only good thing was waking up that day. As I took steps back, forgot about the big picture, and focused on the little (good) things. So much of what I’ve done in the past was look to the future or the what ifs that left me with nothing but anxiety and depression for things I didn’t have moments or time to accomplish. I couldn’t enjoy what was right in front of me because I was not present in the now. To see the many blessings I have because I focused on what I didn’t have.

Usually it takes a traumatic event for me to even connect the dots. But I did it. I started out looking at the small things:

  • Getting out of bed
  • The ability to use my hand
  • Learning to write again

Although these may seem small or trivial to a healthy person, these were things that were almost taken away from me. And so I was even more grateful for what I currently had and what was to come in the future. I couldn’t think of the future without gratitude for the present. Because if you focus on what you do not have, you spiral into the black abyss of what that is…and when you’re there it can be incredibly difficult to find your way back out again.

If you’re struggling moving past negative emotions, I encourage you to look for the good. Show gratitude for the smallest of moments. Learn to take pauses in your day that allow you to savor and be in the state of good.

You woke up.

You opened your eyes.

You are alive.

What else are you grateful for?

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How to Manage Cha-Cha-Changes

You and I…we are constantly changing and evolving.

My go-to phrase lately has been, “I was today-years-old when I learned ____.” Gosh, there’s so much to learn in this one life of ours, right?

Working on ourselves is part of the magic that ensues when we love ourselves through these ages and stages of change and evolution.

How You Have Changed and How You Will Change

Draw a timeline using right now as a reference and going back in time 5 years and forward in time 5 years. Mark pivotal moments in your life that have happened/mattered to you and those that will in the future. So, for the next 5 years portion of your timeline, manifestation will play a part; therefore, allow intuition and flow to fill in the details. Open yourself up to all of the possibilities that can and will be for you. Put them out there—even the big, bold ones!

  • What were your key takeaways and learnings with regard to how you’ve changed over the last 5 years?

  • What was a blessing?

  • Where were you resistant to it?

  • Any ah-ha moments there?

How to Respond to Change

Change requires adjustments. Sometimes these can be small things, like finding a new way to do something, or adding a new step to some of your daily routines. In other cases, you might find that change introduces significant disruptions to the way you live your life. This can create stress, angst and depression.

This doesn’t mean change is bad, but even good changes you are excited about can be stress-inducing. Things might not have been perfect before, but you may have been comfortable in that you knew what to expect so you weren’t caught off-guard.

Here are a few tips when it comes to responding to change:

Proper Preparation

Change often happens when you don’t expect it, so keeping your pulse on the future is beneficial. Think about upcoming events that may lead to changes or disruptions—for me right now it’s transitioning to a new job after 20 years.

Change the Narrative

The way you think about change plays a major role in determining how well you deal with it.

Reframing your thinking (aka shifting the narrative) is a technique that can help you look at situations with a more realistic, hopeful attitude. Instead of me bemoaning a big bill, I might tell myself that I am grateful to afford and benefit from a new kitchen sink.

Change and/or Maintain Routines

The routine that works for you depends on your own situation and needs. Think about the habits and activities that bring you comfort and peace (even if you are dealing with difficult or dramatic shifts in your life). For me, it most definitely starts with a glass of water and a cappuccino in the morning.

Support

Support can be a big part of helping you through change. It’s my go-to resource when I’m responding to change. Sometimes I need emotional support, other times tangible, and oftentimes I just need information to help me along. If it’s hard for you to ask for or accept support, just give it a try.

The only thing constant is change, and…the father of evolution Charles Darwin said it best.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

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