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The Power of Words

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

What a quote!

“Be careful what you wish for, lest it come true!”

Both of these quotes imply that words can be powerful—and I believe this to be true!

So many times when we speak, we say so much. We say and talk so much to others…we even seem to say a lot within our internal dialog. What you say to yourself matters and many times it’s based on how you feel. Not too long ago I was attending a monthly strategy session. In one of the prompts we were asked to write what our takeaways from the month were. Right away I knew what I was going to write—and knew I wanted to share my insight with the class.

I knew I had a message to share and so I did. What I didn’t expect was that it created a shift in the class. The people related to it so much more than I thought they would. And it got me thinking. If my words can influence a shift in a class and the members within it, then they can influence a shift in myself.

Our words are powerful and carry so much weight. What you say and do with those words can affect you in so many ways.

For example: When you say you had a bad day and the only thing that really happened was that you stubbed your toe. You didn’t realize that the power of saying (or thinking) that you’re having a “bad day” influences everything around you. So you went on and had a bad day. You missed out on fun things, beautiful moments, and even a few opportunities. You said a few things that hurt a few people and now you have to handle the consequences of your words.

There are a few messages that came out of this for me:

Share your stories and lessons. You never know who needs to hear it.
Words can and do impact, not only you, but others as well.
You never know who you will inspire.

Words can be just words. As a matter of fact they are just that. But it’s the meaning we put behind them that reflect your outcomes and desires.

On Sunday we had our monthly strategy session. We went over the past month’s good and bad, then looked towards the following month. One particular prompt was big for me, enough that I wanted to share it on camera. What I didn’t expect was the response and how it would affect those in the community. Your words have more power than you think they do. Sharing our words, truthful words, can feel like you’re outing someone (yourself?), they can bring up uncomfortable feelings, guilt…but you’ll find that they will allow you to process your own internal world and it will allow others to do the same in the way they can empathize.

What did I feel when the words were repeated back to me?

Oh shit, this is more powerful than I thought. What I said not only impacts me, it’s already impacting others in the community. I knew I felt strongly about my words, so I had to share my thoughts. I felt them in my body.

Your words hold so much power. You can hurt with them, and you can hurt from them. You can build yourself up and others with just your words. Intentions and energy are key points in all of this. How you speak to each other and mostly how you think and speak to yourself plays a big role in your daily world!

“Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”

Words have power. Their meaning crystallizes perceptions that shape your beliefs, drive your behavior, and ultimately, create your world. Their power arises from your emotional responses when you read, speak, or hear them.

Gratitude Challenge

What does this have to do with the power of words? I encourage you to connect to seeing the good. It is proven that you can’t think negative thoughts when you are thinking in gratitude and positive intentions. Give it a try.

Our words have the power to change your life. They are a reflection of what you give and receive. By paying more attention to how you speak, and how you think, you can change you circumstances for the better. The Power of the Spoken Word will help you make the positive changes that you’ve always wanted to make.

Mindfulness
Aug, 18, 2022

Hypnotherapy & Parts Integration

We all have parts within us—an inner critic, a rebel, a rescuer, just to name a few. These parts are created for one reason or another…most are created by the time we turn 8 years old. They are the product of our environment, and our authority figures; how they nurtured us, or didn’t; the examples that they showed, and the actions that we copied. Some are protective defense mechanisms, cultivated out of survival, others are wounded children, acting out in immature ways to get their needs met. Join me as we explore sub-personalities (parts) and discover how hypnotherapy helps this process move more smoothly with ease; but first, if you don’t know what hypnotherapy is or how it works, go up to the Kind Publishing Co. search bar and browse some of the hypnosis articles available. Although they are all on different topics, each one will give you different backgrounds into insights and information on the mechanics of how and why it works, because today, we will strictly focus on parts integration and hypnotherapy and why the two together make the best pairing since PB&J.

Recognizing a part of you that is acting out, will help you understand why it is coming up, and once you know the why, you begin to unravel the how and when it started. This beautiful thread of discovery will lead you to the origin of the issue. It’s in this place, you can reframe the memory into something empowering as you soothe your wounded self, and heal your core wounding.

These processes are based on mixed teachings of Jungian psychology and the author Bill Plotkin and his book, Wild Mind. Each of these parts is a sub-personalities of the self. Think of yourself as completely whole in your entirety when you are born, and then something terrible happens, and you become fractured, altering the lens through which you see the world. When these fractures compound on top of one another, your authentic self becomes hidden, buried under trauma. You are now running on trauma reactions 24/7. This is what it looks like when someone has suffered tremendous instability in childhood or had a life-changing event in adulthood. All humans are fractured to some degree or another, because we live in a universe of duality. It doesn’t mean it’s bad; it just means it simply is. Our job as humans is to heal our fractured parts, integrating them wholly, and rediscover who we are, what we stand for , and who we stand by. So let’s look at what parts exist within you and how you can recognize when one is running the show.

The Wounded Children

These are the parts of you that never grew up and use their immature tactics to get what they want in every situation. They are prone to feeling hurt, sad, anxious, and angry. They are born from neglect, abuse, and abandonment. These parts act up to get their basic needs met in the most immature way possible—likely because it worked for them at some point, so they kept on doing it.

The conformist fears rejection and abandonment. They don’t have their own sense of fashion, they make decisions based on the input of others, they morph into the social groups they are a part of, and they mirror those who they believe “have it together.” Perhaps you knew this person in high school or college, maybe it’s someone in your family, or maybe it’s you. The conformist is created out of safety. It believes it is “safe” to fit in. They believe in what society says is “beautiful.” They would rather be sheep, moving along slowly and just getting by to fit into the unattainable standards of society.

The victim wants to be rescued. They are also motivated by a fear of abandonment. Deep down they feel fearful, unsafe, undeserving, and any sign of confrontation, discipline or trouble sends them into an anxious state. They truly believe they do not have the ability or capability to overcome their problems (Note that this is just one kind of victim). Some people’s victim simply refuses to take any responsibility. They claim they are doing everything they can, that they put everyone above themselves, yet their actions show otherwise. These parts are unique to each individual, and a victim in one person can look slightly different from a victim in another.

Outlaws, born from the conformist, or from a family environment that had low means of income. Perhaps as a child they tried to fit in, and then in teen years or college they got tired of masking, so they rebel against anything and everything, just because they can, or perhaps they were born out of anger towards a society they feel has disregarded them and feel that they are unable to obtain the life they want in an ethical manner. You will find the outlaws protesting for the sake of protesting, arguing for the sake of arguing. They enjoy drinking, sex, and self-sabotaging behavior. Think of the movie bridesmaids, this is a great example of what the rebel thinks it wants; “let’s get fucked up and everything will turn out great…” except it doesn’t because you can’t drink and thrive day-to-day. You can’t destroy your friend’s wedding and have your friendship become stronger. I mean, I guess anything is possible, but it’s highly unlikely. Just because your outlaw thinks it’s fun, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Another outlaw can look much darker; a life of crime and punishment. They rebel against any and all authority figures and are full of anger due to their shortcomings in life.

The princess/prince is also fueled by their abandonment (catching onto a theme here?), however they carry an entitlement due to their wealth, or authority figures who showered them with privilege. However, I do want to add that those where were born without wealth or privilege, can still be entitled.

Loyal Soldiers

Have you ever heard of the theory between your left and right brains? The left brain is analytical and the right brain is creative. Well, if the loyal soldiers were put into a category based on this theory, they would definitely be in the left brain. They are protectors of the self. In fact, they are created to protect you from your wounded children. Everything they do is to help you not get hurt. Now, it is subjective as to whether or not they are actually helpful. Still, their only intention is to keep you from suffering, even if that means causing a different form of suffering in the meantime.

There are 4 main subpersonalities in this container; the rescuer (the enabler), the inner flatter (which keeps you emotionally detached from others), the tyrant (craves having power over others), and the inner critic (it’s exactly what it sounds like, they want to keep you small). These parts of us want to support us small and safe as they avoid risks and attachments.

The rescuer does so by showing their value by putting others first. They are codependent by nature and will conform to fit in so that they go unnoticed. However, from the outside, they seem to always contribute; some rescuers are manipulative. For example, one may feel completely helpless and unworthy without someone else to take care of. Usually, these folks get taken advantage of. Whereas another type of rescuer will first want to dive in and help, and once they have, they may begin to see an opening where they can manipulate you to get something in return. These parts are not “defined” in one manner; they can alter and change based on the person and their trauma.

The inner flatterer strives to boost your ego so that you need no one else. They keep you from having intimate relationships and vulnerable conversations due to a fear of rejection. So rather than allowing you to be authentic, they push you to hide behind emotional walls, a prison of sorts that doesn’t allow you to get close to anything that would render you vulnerable, thus making it difficult for you to meet your truest potential.

The tyrant wasn’t given the love they needed as a child. Therefore they create a sense of internal authority that puts them first above anyone else; exploiting others and controlling every situation makes them feel safe and powerful in their role.

The inner critic is judgmental of the self and others. It finds ways to “protect” you from taking up space, from being noticed. It wants to control everything in its surroundings so that it is “safe”. Think of someone who has been through WWI and lost everything. Perhaps the inner critic would judge themselves for living in luxury, as though it would all be taken away, and there for anyone else who lives in luxury would be wrong and looked down upon; this is the role of the inner critic in this example. Now, you could have a variety of these. You may have an inner critic who needs to keep things clean and organized to stay in control, or you may have one who judges you for how you spend your money. These parts will vary based on your internal programming and the narratives you were taught as a child.

All of these sub-personalities at their core are controlling; some more than others. Their survival instincts come from protecting you from further harm. As a child, you may have been abandoned or neglected; these parts are your loyal soldiers, ensuring you are safe from further damage. According to Jung, these parts provide structure, control, and service as they go to war, defending you from any other harm. These parts believe they are secure; they believe in the ego-centric way that they are the most honorable adult, taking care of the different parts of you. Unfortunately, no secure adult acts this way. Trustworthy moral adults act from a place of compassion and wisdom. These parts act as immature versions of a genuine secure adult, and trust me, they will try to trick you and make you think that they are just and righteous in their actions; that’s how you know; they are a protection sub-personality, rather than part of the secure, whole self.

The Escapists and Addicts

Jung called these parts the path to a spiritual journey, because of how much you must overcome to live a life of authenticity. These are the parts that come out when the immature tactics of the wounded children don’t work, and the protection from the loyal soldiers feels more critical than helpful. Those who have a strong will to dissociate have a skilled escapist. They leave their body and have holes in their memory from days, sometimes even years, at a time. Whereas someone with an addict, simply want to numb out all pain and are willing to sacrifice anything in order to meet their need for bliss and serenity, even if the cost is their family, job, home, or integrity. The amount of pain they feel is so excruciating that they feel that numbing the pain is all that they can do to get by.

The Shadow

These are the parts of self that are unknown to us, hence why they are called the shadow. They live in the darkness of our subconscious, hidden away in shame. A great way to depict a shadow is to look at what areas of life you feel ashamed of. These are things you are not consciously aware of. For example, let’s say someone always judges those who make a lot of money, and they have beliefs of this or that for why that is. Yet they “think” they are great with money and live from paycheck to paycheck—this is a shadow. They cannot see that their judgment of someone else’s wealth is holding them back from creating their own abundance, because by having this belief, they inherently don’t believe they should be rich. However, they do not see this at all. Make sense? Bill Plotkin speaks of these as the heroes, those who think they are undoubtedly saving the world, yet under their success is great judgment and toxic ego; the gurus, the teachers who believe their teachings are the only ones that can save you, and the devil/monster, the parts that must be bad so they have to be hidden away for no one else to see.

Hypnotherapy & Integration

None of these parts are inherently bad, and the key is not to punish them or scold them for causing a ruckus. The real healing lies in integration; accepting these parts for who they are, and honoring the hard work that they have done. This is where hypnotherapy comes in.

The process of hypnosis allows you to get to the root cause of a core belief. Whether it is “I am not enough”, “I am unsafe”, or “I am broken.” It can also help you uncover your shadow and the limiting beliefs that live behind statements like “rich people are evil”, “everyone is a bad driver but me” and “all people who eat meat are bad.” We are so indoctrinated by society to have limiting beliefs about our worth, finances, abundance, weight, nutrition, religion, spirituality, the government… the list goes on and on.

Remember that thread I spoke about in the beginning? About starting at a single point and unraveling the truth? That is what hypnosis does. It is a deep uncovering of limiting beliefs and programs that do not align with your authenticity and wholeness. It helps you get to the core of who you are, what you love and value, your truest expression and creative vibrance. Imagine being happier, healthier, and thriving in your everyday life. Imagine manifesting everything you could ever want, discovering your worth and breaking generational trauma, this is what hypnotherapy does. It unravels the false narratives in your mind, it negotiates with your sub-personalities (parts). It helps you step into your security and worth, so that all the other wounded parts can heal, release their obligations, and let your authentic self run the show. This is integration, and it starts with a simple thread. So where will yours lead you on your journey to healing?

Spiritual
Aug, 18, 2022

Creating a Life That Lights Up Your Soul

For the past 4 months, I’ve been closing a chapter and starting a new one. I finished my studies and took the first real steps into adulthood. While there was a sense of uncertainty, more space was being created to welcome in all the new things that would set the tone for this next chapter in my life.

I’ve always had this voice telling me that I’m meant for something drastically different and big. Marching to the beat of my own drum and paving a less walked path has been the undertone of my life and even though I still can’t see what the purpose of it is, I know it’ll reveal itself soon. This inner knowing has been my lifelong inspiration and even in the darkest of times when I felt I was veering off path, it would get me back on track.

Never in a million years did I think I was going to be living the life I’m currently living. I thought I was supposed to be a medical doctor still studying and losing sleep over something I wasn’t even really passionate about. The urge to help all sentient beings has always been prominent for me. I thought that being a doctor was the only way I could do this, but really I was just seeking external validation from my family, a god complex, and a sense of entitlement.

As I shed the identity that was never mine in the first place, I realized that the desire to help others stemmed from my innate strong sense of empathy and I know I am here to leave the Earth in a better state than when I arrived. I know fellow empaths share this same soul mission and that reality can unfold in many different ways.

I never just studied or practiced one thing. I wanted to delve deep into different subjects, teachings, and experiences. This well roundedness has left me with a wide array of healing modalities I use in my sessions with clients. I have a background in biomedicine, I’m a reiki practitioner, I work with energy, and I have strong psychic abilities. These all come together in my sessions to help others create a life that lights up their soul.

The new age spiritual community has become quite oversaturated with misinformation and misinterpretation of what it truly means to deliberately co-create with the universe. Many practitioners work from a standpoint of ego. I like to see myself as an equal with the individual I am working with. I am not better than others because I sense more, or know how to work with energy. We learn from each other and it’s a symbiotic relationship that we each benefit from.

I also think that many of these “healing” sessions disempower so many individuals. We are innately intuitive, powerful, and deliberate. Leaving our fate in the hands of others because we might think they know better is not something we should pursue.

Instead, I like to empower human beings in developing their own intuitive abilities and placing the power back in their hands. I share the tools, facilitate the awakening, and it’s all coming from within them, not me. This is why I don’t like calling my sessions ‘healings’. None of us are broken and we don’t need fixing. We just need support and light shining in from different sources to illuminate our own.

My sessions are divided into practices that work on different auric levels. I have mentorship which is pragmatic and grounded meant to help you find tangible ways to create fruitful habits and deconstruct self limiting beliefs. In these coaching sessions, we work with the mental, emotional, and physical layers of the aura.

I also perform energy work through energy chelation and deliver energy through the practice of reiki. Depending on the state of your chakras and energetic field, I will modify what layers I must work on, but I usually work intuitively with guides and galactic beings who help me work on the etheric, celestial, or spiritual layers. This is meant for those of you seeking to strengthen your connection to your higher self and spirit guides as well as optimizing chakra function for more wellbeing.

The last category of my sessions are the psychic offerings where I streamline divine guidance through channeling, freewriting, and other intuitive work. I take messages from your guides and others who are supporting you on your human experience. This is the perfect choice for you if you’re looking to receive guidance on any life aspect. It’s a way to offer support when you’re struggling to find it within yourself.

I’ve noticed there’s a recurring theme throughout all of my clients. They come to me looking for answers to so many questions and while this curiosity is beautiful, it can also enable us to place power outside of ourselves. The work I do with my clients helps us locate answers and frequencies within us that fill voids we’ve been searching external solutions for.

It’s also about realizing that our guides are always with us and are connected to all of us. It’s a matter of finding ourselves to strengthen that connection. There’s so much empowerment that comes through my work with others. There’s a new perspective that’s born that helps my clients understand everything they’re searching for can be found internally.

I am not here to ‘heal’ you because you’re not broken. I am here to offer support and guidance when you feel called to take aligned action and make a change in your life. My mission is to help you get closer to who you truly are, and that’s a being with an innate ability to create a life that lights up your soul

Personal Story
Aug, 16, 2022

Boosting your Balance

Life’s a balancing act; we try to be in balance but then we get thrown off balance. At the macro level, society is addressing balance in power and communities are balancing their priorities against their checklists, and at the micro level, families are balancing their checkbooks and their busy schedules. It’s all a balancing act and the scales are forever tipping this way and that way.

Lately, I’ve been primarily concerned with two areas of balance in my life.

The first is maybe one you wouldn’t expect but can most likely relate to. It’s the balance in art and design. You see, at the age of 42, I’m building my forever home, and I guess I realized that even though I’m into aesthetics and home decor, I don’t have a very strong visual-spatial sense. Good thing my sister-in-law is a professional photographer and an interior designer; she’s a huge support during this process. In building and furnishing, I’m looking to balance the energy in my home by means of space, light, objects, colors, texture, and the like. One change in the balance of the layout was to include two big windows on each side of the fireplace; a change in color was to add opaque colored paneling to the appliances so they more naturally integrate into the open concept. These examples seem simple and actually not very important compared to the well-balanced family life we’ll be living in the home. However, that is a balance we have—we have worked to make that a reality in our daily lives, and so now, we focus on our new physical home.

Then there’s our other physical home—our body as our physical vessel. In recent weeks I have been made very aware of my grandma and my mom’s imbalances—mostly losing balance while walking. It’s nerve wracking to worry about them falling, and it’s terrifying to see them fall. It’s made me more aware of the importance of balance and range of motion. So, I started up my yoga practice again. I was super into it when I went through my 200-hour yoga teacher training experience a few years back but then became uninterested. Well, I’m back for the benefits. Most recently, I’ve been attending 90-minute hot yoga classes. Balance practices are the most challenging when it comes to yoga postures as it’s likely to shake and teeter and fall out of poses. So, I’m learning about balance from the inside out. Some everyday tips you can even use out of the yoga studio are as follows: focus on your breathing, lock your gaze, check your alignment, and feel grounded in the earth. The balance I’m developing and strengthening is physical, but it’s also emotional and spiritual, and that is a beautiful benefit.

Next up in the realm of what I’d like to balance in my world…

I plan to tackle balancing my plate. The recent and temporary move into our apartment while our house is being built has me cooking in an unfamiliar kitchen yielding meals that are a bit uninspired and most definitely imbalanced—I haven’t even been going to the grocery store with a shopping list. I’m looking forward to bringing back some freshness and color and balance to my breakfast, lunch and dinner plate. Think: colorful fruits and veggies, leaner proteins, whole grains, and the right nutrients. Think: less standing up and eating mindlessly out of a Pringles can and more sitting down and being present while nourishing myself with something that has ingredients I can pronounce.

A final word…

I’ll leave you with the quintessential image of balance—the yin and yang. That white and black representation shows a balance between two opposites with a portion of the opposite element embedded in the other. There’s a duality there, which is the reminder we need to promote balance among the opposing elements that exist in our lives because life, in fact, is not so black and white.

Personal Story
Aug, 09, 2022

Tend and Befriend: The Feminine Response to Stress

There are new studies coming out that show that our trusty friend “fight or flight” is actually only proven to be true in the male physiology.

Yep.

Now, you can stretch fight or flight to fit the feminine—you can make it work—but the more accurate female physiological response to stress is something called “tend and befriend.”

It takes one flashback to middle or high school to see this played out. The mean girls are mean to you and what do you do? You don’t fight them. And you probably didn’t run scared either. What you probably did was anything you could to get back on their good side. You tended to the crappy frienemmy relationships…you were extra kind and friendly.

If that’s not quite clicking for you yet, let’s look at a more extreme example. Victims of domestic violence aren’t usually rushing to the door and leasing a new apartment at the first sign of trouble. And we usually ask why. Why don’t they just leave? Or why don’t they say something or fight back or get help? Well, because they aren’t physiologically designed to respond with fight or flight.

Instead, these women will stay and put up with the abuse because their bodies are hardwired to stay as safe as possible. They will go to great lengths to smooth things over, to make the abuser happy or calm, to appease. Because their bodies are working to make sure everyone is safe and protected. They truly believe that they and maybe their children are safer if they can just stay on the abuser’s good side.

This makes so much energetic sense. If you look at the feminine energy characteristics like:

Passive
Feeling
Relationship oriented
Allowing
Creating
Cooling
Cooperation
Intuition
Receiving
Nurturing

You see that this Tend and Befriend way of handling stress and danger is much more acutely aligned.

Now, we must step out of the abusive example to see the beauty in this design. This sort of energy and way of being is what keeps a village together. This sort of response is what keeps relationships from crumbling because of miscommunication, strong feelings, and mistakes. And this is exactly the sort of response we need to start leaning in to in order to heal women’s relationships with other women.

The culture has taught us that we just don’t get along well with other women. That women are too judgemental, too sensitive, read too much into every detail. We are taught that hanging out with the guys is what makes us “not like other girls” and also that being able to be in a room full of men and hold your own is what will make us successful.

We were also taught that the right way to respond to stress and danger is fight or flight, so we’ve been taught some particularly masculine things that aren’t aligning.

So we need to start leaning into the impulse to tend and befriend. We need to allow women into our circles again, without the expectation that she’s not to be trusted. We were designed this way for a reason. And aligned with that nature might be the answer to so much healing, renewing, and rebuilding for that world.

Relationships
Aug, 02, 2022

The Healing Paradox

It seems that society is truly divided when it comes to belief and truth. It’s as if there must absolutely be a clear demarcation between what is ‘real’ and what isn’t, but who decides what’s true? At the end of the day, it really comes down to the individual’s mindset and while this separation is necessary in some instances, it can also be isolating and restrictive. When it comes to food and wellbeing, one thing is for sure: everyone is simply trying to find their way amidst a heavy fog of unsolicited opinion and diet culture.

One of the things I’ve noticed in the wellness community is that when people find what works for them, they automatically assume it will work for everyone else, so they’ll go on their social media channels, share their anecdotal experience, and attempt to convince others to take a similar path. While we’re fed conflicting views, the only thing that matters is our own perception and we also have to take bio-individuality into account. There’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.

The healing paradox is something we’re all too familiar with. We expect the status quo to heal what we think might be broken when in reality it could be making things worse, or causing discomfort while doing nothing whatsoever. A lot of this work is internal and requires approval from our innermost essence.

While we aren’t broken, it’s understandable to want to change something about ourselves and improve from it. Healing doesn’t come from scratching the surface though. It comes from digging deep and doing internal work. Healing might genuinely seem like more work, but it’s more effortless than convincing ourselves that what has worked for others must work for us too.

The law of attraction works for everything in our universe and that includes healing. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental, it all comes down to belief. What we think is good for us will be good for us, and vice versa. It truly has nothing to do with the external world, but everything to do with our inner world.

The majority of so-called healing stems from a space of restriction and in my opinion, nothing good comes from restriction. Freedom, on the other hand, is a space of trust and abundance. Those are the types of vibrations that shift the undertones of our energetic bodies, thus enabling us to attract more of the good in our lives.

Food freedom has been one of the best things I have implemented in my life. I’ve dealt with bad body image, disordered eating, and diet culture my entire life. It hurts to say that as a young girl in various stages, I was never a stranger to dieting. I was constantly on a mission to lose weight, control what and how much I’d eat, and morph my body into another. I was constantly in a space of shame and unappreciativeness. I started to realize that the fixation on food and physicality was an external pressure that I didn’t want to deal with any longer.

The world was constantly telling me that if I’d just try one more diet, it’d be the miracle I was seeking. You get exhausted and grow tired of the discomfort and lack of change. There comes a point where you realize that if everything you’ve ever done to change hasn’t led to anything different, maybe it’s time to give it a rest. This goes for everyone who diets. If the hundreds of diets you’ve been on haven’t done anything to make you feel better long-term, why do you still believe dieting is the answer?

Food freedom is when we allow ourselves to eat what we want whenever we want. We don’t require permission to eat certain foods and we don’t label foods as good or bad. Changing the way we perceive and talk about food really makes a difference in the way our body breaks down and uses food. After reading the book, ‘Just Eat It’, I started to learn that we get aligned with wellbeing when we give ourselves unconditional freedom. For me, good and bad foods just don’t exist.

People think that food freedom means letting ourselves go, but do you realize the damage that causes us? We’re inherently telling our intelligent souls that we are not to be trusted and a rampage awaits us as long as we feel free. Food freedom can only be possible when we feel at peace with a body that doesn’t necessarily fit in the health archetype. As long as the goal is body modification, it’ll never work. The goal has to be acceptance and nourishment.

What’s the fear of getting fat about? We hear so many people telling us that their greatest fear is getting bigger, and that just confirms the severe ingrainment of fatphobia in our society. There’s an idealized picture of what health looks like, but we must change that narrative. Health is possible at every size.

Diet culture promises us that we’re only pounds away from fulfillment and that our happiness is tied to the scale. We’re highly intuitive and intelligent. We are well aware that fulfillment is something internal, so why do we seek it externally? Part of this healing process requires us to make unconventional choices in a society that doesn’t support individuality as much as it should.

Start to think of yourself as an advocate for yourself, your livelihood, and all the human beings who’ve experienced the same hurt as you. How can we change the way we navigate through our healing journeys to not only help ourselves, but the collective as well? I’m here to urge you to remove yourself from the box. Question what you’ve been taught and what you’ve chosen to integrate in your life.

Part of healing calls us to place focus on the flaws and cracks, but that endless loop of change can be exhausting. We don’t always have to change, improve, and grow because that’s all effortless and it happens whether you like it or not. That’s why I turned to freedom. I started feeling truly free from the shackles of social norms when I started making choices for myself even when I felt the immense pressure to follow the busy path. Reflect on what is hindering you and reassess how you can face it from a place of you. The only person who knows what’s best for you is you, so block out the noise and tune in.

Wellness
Jul, 19, 2022

Second Chances

Let’s all channel ABBA’s song made famous by the romantic comedy Mamma Mia, alright?

“Baby, I’m still free…take a chance on me. Gonna do my very best, and it ain’t no lie.”

Okay, let’s get real. We have given second chances—to friends, to lovers, to the undeserving, to family members. And, we have needed second chances, in countless situations and in numerous ways.

Let’s shift our perspective for a moment. What are the benefits of second chances? Oh, the benefits abound and especially when you are working on yourself. It’s an opportunity to try again and again and as many times as you want…after not succeeding. Your potential is limitless.

How and why are second chances important on our self-care and self-love journey? Well, it allows us to achieve our potential. Right? The word fail is just an acronym for First Attempt In Learning. Another opportunity always provides us with an option and sometimes the support to succeed.

So, here we are and it’s the second half of the year. Now is our second chance. Oh, how glorious to have the opportunity to reflect on the first half of the year and get intentional about the second half of the year.

Listen, it’s important to carve out time to reflect. Why? It’s information that catapults us forward. Look back at the good, the bad, the ugly. The small wins, the big wins, and the milestones especially. This year I celebrated my grandma’s 90th birthday, a wise guy’s 80th birthday, and my bonus daughter’s college graduation. More than that, my manifestation powers led me in a whole new direction. I’m 42; I’m building a new house and I have a new job.

Grab a pen and paper. Offer yourself the second chance to get energized and begin anew.

Are you thinking about the rest of July? How about August, September, October, November, December? Think about that time by using your noggin and by taking a look at your calendar. And consider—is time a construct, is it a concept, is it an illusion? Go and talk about that at the dinner table. It’s bound to be quite the conversation.

Back to the inner work.

Approach the rest of the calendar year from the lens of self-care and self-love? Let’s focus on you because the way you care for and love yourself dictates the way you show up for yourself, family, friends, community and the world in which we live, and let us be rea…we’ve had heavy moments (in our lives and in the world)—beyond what we thought would even happen in our lifetime.

Believe you are the creator of your life; make conscious choices. Maybe consider yourself the co-creator so that you put your trust in the universe and work to co-create a life you love and a life to live. There is certainly more than we have control over (ugh), yet let me guide you in the way you can make loving choices and take loving actions.

First, put on “Forever Young” (any version you want, either Rod Stewart or Jay-Z or Alphaville). My guy and I (both over 40) like the first, the teen likes Jay-Z, and the 20-something-year old likes the version featured in Napoleon Dynamite.

Now, see your life in front of you as if it were a movie playing out in front of you over the course of the remainder of the year. You are an observer. Observe. What’s going on? You are growing and expanding, and you are the future you—6 months from now. How are you showing up? What are you doing and thinking? In what ways are you excited about what’s going to happen? Allow yourself to embody this future you, this favorite you energy.

Next, think about being in the energy of late December 2022. What happened these past six months? How did they play out? Consider connections you’ve made, challenges you’ve encountered, changes you have precipitated, people and things you have released, times you have surprised yourself. Consider it all.

Why consider it all? Life is mysterious and miraculous and conspiring for the greater good in your life. Good, good, or even better. Believe it. Be open to it. It is yours.

Emotional Health
Jul, 14, 2022

Protecting & Clearing Your Energy

I was a sensitive girl growing up. Easily affected by the energy of others, my energy often shifted quickly. As I eased (or was catapulted?!) into adulthood, I couldn’t quite grasp why my energy would shift in what felt like an instant. With my energy changing in ways I didn’t understand, my emotions seemed to be up and down as well.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I began to understand energy was more than just how much sleep I got a night or the food I fueled my body with. My energy was impacted depending on how I took care of myself, of course, but the people I surrounded myself with also played a huge role. The way I spent my time was drastically affecting how I felt. It became clear I needed to set boundaries and learn how to protect my energy.

With this realization I began to honor my energy. By honoring my energy, my body, and mind started to feel a bit more at ease. I developed practices and rituals that allowed me to protect and clear my energy. Protecting my energy allowed me to stay connected to myself. Clearing my energy opens the space to come back home to myself when I feel out of alignment or need to reconnect.

Try These Practices When You Need an Energy Reset

1. connect

Sit on the floor or ground, connecting your sit bones to the surface beneath you. Feel your root chakra connect to the earth below you. Connect back to your center.

2. ground

Stand or sit on the floor or ground outside, barefoot. Feel your foot burrow into the surface beneath you, connecting to the earth and absorbing its energy. Allow your body to give the energy you no longer desire back to the earth.

3. cleanse

Cleanse your body with a shower or a bath. Watch the water wash away all that is no longer yours. See all the excess energy escape as it goes down the drain.

4. Crystals

Protect and clear the space with crystals. Protect with crystals such as black tourmaline, obsidian, amethyst, hematite. Clear your space and energy with selenite, fluorite, clear quartz, smoky quartz.

5. Visualize

Visualize a protection bubble. Imagine a white light of energy surrounding your aura that protects your energy. Anything you do not desire bounces right off and doesn’t enter your energetic field.

6. Clear

Clear your space and your body with smoke cleansing. Clear with ethically sourced palo santo, incense, candles, lavender, sage, cedarwood, juniper. Find the type of smoke cleansing that you are drawn to. Cleanse with an open window or door to let the energy leave the space!

7. move

Get out of your mind and into your body. Practice intuitive movement and clear the stagnant energy by going for a walk, shaking it off, moving the energy up and through you.

8. Feel

Feel the emotions coming up. Emotions are energy in motion. Allow yourself to feel whatever is present. Write it out to get it out of your mind and onto the paper and let it go.

9. Space

Move to a new space and change the scenery. Change the room you are in, get out of the house, go outside and get some fresh air.

These are just some of the simple and quick practices you can tap into to protect and clear your energy. Utilize these when you are holding space for others, when you get back from a big gathering, after you’ve had a long week, or just need some space just for you.

Honoring one’s energy looks different for everyone. Finding what works best for you can take time, so see what feels best as you try these different practices and rituals and lean in.

Spiritual
Jul, 07, 2022

5 Ways to Connect and Get to Know Your Period

In the past year, I have been on a fairly intense journey to reform my relationship with my menstrual cycle. Here are my 5 favorite ways to connect and get to know your period—and why I think they are worth a shot.

5. Ditching Your Tampons

I don’t care if they are organic. I don’t care if they have an incredible applicator or no applicator at all. Tampons are not gentle on your body. Especially those with chemicals. Have you ever read the Toxic Shock warning on tampon boxes? It’s way more common than you think. Many of the materials and products used to make tampons more absorbent are actually contributing to your discomfort. Tampons can cause an increase in discomfort, in cramping, and in bleeding. If you’ve ever had to remove a tampon that wasn’t completely wet, you know your body has feelings about it.

It can be intimidating to make the switch. But you may have been intimidated by tampons at one point as well and you made it through that. You can make it through this, too!

Whether you switch to a cup or a disc, it’s very likely you’ll experience almost immediate benefits, relief, and a renewed sense of dignity. Sure, there can be a learning curve in how to use them properly and that will likely feel stressful at first. But making this switch changed my entire view of my period. Just one cycle with a disc instead of tampons helped me to feel more comfortable, in more control, and far more aware of what was happening in my body. Plus, it’s great for the environment and that always feels good.

4. Tracking Your Cycle

It’s one thing to know you had your last period X days ago. It’s another thing entirely to pay attention to the whole cycle. For me, it helped me not to dread my menstrual phase (my period) because it wasn’t the only time of the month that mattered anymore. And the process of labeling each of my days with a follicular, ovulation, luteal, or menstrual designation has offered me a wealth of wisdom that I didn’t know my body even had. When you track your cycle fully, you can see exactly why you feel the way you do, crave this food or that, shine in this area of life or struggle with this element of your day. It all simply starts to make sense. It’s amazing to me how validated my clients, as well as myself, feel when they see on the calendar what their hormones are working on. We were taught that our hormones are a rollercoaster and they are chaotic and unpredictable. And when you look at a woman’s mood from one day to the next, I can see how we jumped to that conclusion. But the whole picture is a 28 day circle. And when you look at that circle, you see a beautiful pattern that makes room for you to thrive at so many different things, each in their own time.

I have a fun little guide you can download for free here if that would be helpful for you! Cycle Tracking Made Easy

3. Cyclical Rhythms

In February I created a line of oils that correspond to each phase of your cycle and I excitedly asked a few of my friends to try them with me and report back. These four blends are made in the hopes that it will reduce uncomfortable and annoying symptoms and will help you better align with each phase of your cycle. Over and over what I have heard as the greatest benefit of these oils, is not just that they help to manage symptoms, but that they’ve created a daily rhythm that feels powerful and wise and intuitive. It helps you to come into your body, notice where you are at, how you feel, what you need. Incorporating a rhythm that allows you to connect into your body can be a life changing shift for women. Especially those who spend most of their day in their mind. It doesn’t have to be these oils. Any rhythm will do.

2. Eat for Your Cycle

You are what you eat. And it’s due in large part to your hormonal response to what you eat. Everything you put into your body plays a role in your gut health, which plays a role in your hormone health, which plays a role in your reproductive health. And because our feminine bodies go through hormone shifts differently throughout the month, it stands to reason that eating the same thing every day isn’t going to serve us as well as eating based on what your body needs in that given cycle. I got the Moon Cycle Cookbook earlier this year and It’s now a staple for recipes and meal planning in our home. My whole family enjoys these meals so I don’t have to feel alone in caring for my body and this feels really important to me.

I highly recommend this book, but you can also just be mindful of a few key points. For instance, during your Luteal phase, your increase in progesterone slows the body’s systems down, including your bowels. So it’s a really important time to eat high fiber foods. Cinnamon helps to rid the body of estrogen, and when you do that before your period starts, you’ll experience a lighter flow. Or that during your Ovulation phase, you think the least about food because you don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen. So it’s important to set yourself up to eat things that don’t take long to prepare and meal prep so you don’t “forget to eat.”

1. Prioritize the Cortisol Flush

Cortisol, the “bad” stress hormone, is an enormous factor in how your period goes down each month. The more stress that’s stored in the body, the more your menstrual phase has to work to clear everything out. One of the cyclical phenomena about women is that we store up our anger, and our stress, in the body until the first day of our menstrual phase. That moodiness is passed off at the catch-all PMS. In reality, you have been holding that anger, negative energy, and cortisol in your body and your menstrual bleed is your body trying to eliminate it.

And we can keep trucking along like this for the rest of our lives if we want to. Or, we can help our bodies to flush the cortisol, the negative energy, and anger from our bodies daily so that when we get to day 1 of our cycle, we don’t have to catch up on 28 days worth of work.

There are a few fun ways to flush the cortisol from your system. Shaking for a few minutes a day is a really easy one. You could mask this as a 1 song dance party if that makes you more comfortable. But really it’s as simple as shaking your body, your limbs, your fingers, your head for a few minutes. This breaks up that energy and that cortisol so it can easily leave your body. Sweating is another way to flush the cortisol out of your body. Exercise or a good 20–40 minutes in the sauna can greatly improve your body’s ability to remove cortisol before it builds up. And Orgasms are another beautiful, pleasurable way to remove cortisol, anger, and negative energy from the body.

There are so many small ways to turn your period from something you dread into a way you respect and honor your body each month. I really hope a few of these resonate with you.

Wellness
Jul, 07, 2022

Feminine Anger

Anger. There is no shortage of it. And I think we can all feel that. But the lack of acceptance of it has me feeling a certain sort of way.

It’s been said by many that the patriarchal society we live in fears a woman’s anger. To that end we have to suppress it some way. We have to shut it down. Men, of course do this, but the patriarchy runs deeply, generationally, and so women do their fair share of suppressing anger as well.

We push down our own anger because we are taught “There’s no use being angry.” And we came to that conclusion after being told to:

Calm down.
Let it go.
Don’t let them get to you.
Rise above it.
Relax.
And don’t we love to blame any strong feeling on hormones.
Are you on your period?
I’m just hormonal.
Pregnancy Hormones
PMSing

They are all to blame for our “irrational feelings.”

If you hear that enough, get dismissed enough, get blamed enough, it’s no wonder we don’t let ourselves feel the fullness of an emotion like anger.

Many of the women in my office hold back tears, minimize and hold back their emotional responses, apologize for laughing too loud or letting tears out. They cage themselves into a smaller, gentler version of themselves in microscopic ways. They have no idea they’re doing it.

And so I ask them if they have a hard time letting themselves orgasm.

Of course they do.

The reason for this is fear. What if the orgasm is too big? What if it’s too powerful? I have no idea what will happen if I really allow that to come in its fullness.

Along with orgasms, anger, sadness, rage, and even joy are all held captive in metaphorical jeans that are a few sizes too small. What if the anger consumes me? But darling, it already is. From the inside out, our anger eats at us. It takes things from us. But we hold it anyway. Anything to make others more comfortable around us.

There is a belief that women hold all of our anger, storing it up in the womb space for 28 days. And then we release it all at once with our menstrual bleed. That’s why your flow is heaviest on the first day, and that’s why your PMS symptoms might be so powerful. You’re finally releasing the stored emotion.

So what if you didn’t do that? What if you allowed yourself to release anger, judgment and shame-free as it came?

What if you allowed yourself that courtesy for every emotion, feeling, and orgasm?

Because the truth is, your emotions have purpose. Your experiences within your body are necessary and helpful communication. Feelings are the conduit for relationships—they are how we connect to ourselves, our higher power, and our people. And they won’t break you in half. You won’t burst from feeling too strongly. You are safe to feel fully.

And this is rather critical. This is why we need to allow for emotional release and expression every day, not just when we can’t take it anymore. This freedom would give way to healing, and power, and deeper connection and deeper love. Your body would be able to fill with love and light, rather than stored trauma, repressed anger, and anxiety.

That’s what you need. And just imagine what it could do for that world.

Relationships
Jul, 05, 2022

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